Jehovah’ Witnesses View The Watchtower as Their Final Authority

Let the Witnesses tell it from their own literature:

The Watchtower, 10/1/94, pg 8

“Even as Bible prophecy pointed forward to the Messiah, it also directs us to the close-knit body of anointed Christian Witnesses that now serve as the faithful and discreet slave. It helps us to understand the Word of God. All who want to understand the Bible should appreciate that the “greatly diversified wisdom of God” can become known only through Jehovah’s channel of communication, the faithful and discreet slave.”

The Watchtower, May 1, 1992, pg. 31:

“Of course, help is needed. It is unlikely that someone who simply reads the Bible without taking advantage of divinely provided aids could discern the light. That is why Jehovah God has provided “the faithful and discreet slave,” foretold at Matthew 24:45-47. Today that “slave” is represented by the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses.”

Jehovah communicates using the Watchtower. From the Yearbook of Jehovah’s Witnesses 1939 p 85

“It should be expected that the Lord would have a means of communicating to his people on the earth, and he has clearly shown that the magazine called The Watch Tower is used for that purpose”

“Respond to the directions of the organization as you would the voice of God.“( Watchtower 6/15/1957, p. 370)

“Let us now unmistakably identify Jehovah’s channel of communication for our day, that we may continue in his favor. Listen to the inspired answer to the situation, in Matthew 24:45-47 (NW): “Who really is the faithful and discreet slave whom his master appointed over his domestics to give them their food at the proper time? Happy is that slave if his master on arriving finds him doing so. Truly I say to you, He will appoint him over all his belongings.” And has he? Yes, particularly since 1919 has it been true that he has appointed the collective body of the anointed remnant over all the visible interests of the Kingdom. The “slave” then became responsible not only for ministering to the needs of the anointed body members but also for taking on the responsibility of preaching the good news of the established Kingdom to people of all nations. (Matt. 24:14) Such is true not by their determination of it, but because God himself has so directed. “God has set the members in the body, each one of them, just as he pleased,” is the way it is pictured in 1 Corinthians 12:18 (NW). It is vital that we appreciate this fact and respond to the directions of the “slave” as we would to the voice of God, because it is His provision.”

As a JW for 50 years, I was always taught the the Watchtower was the interpretaion of Gods word.

I was always warned against speaking against “the organization, or “the brothers”. It was the same as speaking against God or the Bible.

Deluded assholes.

A Great Blog, “Big Dick’s Place”

You can find Big Dicks Place in my pants or there is another one at http://bigdicksplace.com/.

Funny, irreverent, vulgar, demented, anti-social, sociopathic, in-your-face insults, commentary, articles and other bullshit.

Now, this is some quality blogging.

 

A Jehovah’s Witness Rant…

…for no particular reason except that they are deluded morons, they suck so I felt compelled. Hey, it’s my blog, so fuck you if you don’t like it.

Poor, deluded Jo Hos.

A ragtag little band of oddball dissenters, whose founder was clearly an apostate from another church, pop out onto the world scene and DEMAND that people follow THEM…or God will destroy them where they stand.

They have grown to (they claim as they are the only source of the numbers) nearly seven million in number, having to knock on doors to distribute Watchtower literature and to con and suck recruits into their crazy azz religion.

All the while being under the control of delusional men who can’t seem to make up their minds on what “God” requires from year to year so that they have to VOTE on their latest “new lite” from the God they worship, as he only talks to them.

If JWs were honest, they would admit that the ONLY place that anyone will EVER see any glowing reports that “the Watchtower is the only group that is approved by God and the only ones having his blessing”….is in a Watchtower publication. There IS no proof of this anywhere…EXCEPT coming down from the Watchtower presses.

Watchtower, 9/1/89 page 19:

“ONLY Jehovah’s Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the “great crowd,” as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil.”

Delusional fuck heads.

The Bible is Wrong

Just putting key search phrases up for the spiders.

This is the right blog to come to if you think the Bible is wrong. Read some of my posts.

The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong.

The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong.

The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong.

The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong.

The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong.

The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong. The Bible is wrong.

Dicks in the Bible, Part 2.

The Jehovah’s Witnesses have a bible story book for kids, with the clever title, “My Book of Bible Stories”. When one of my grandsons was small and I was still a Jo Ho, I thought I would read him a story. So, I got the book out and went to the table of contents to see what he might like.

Here were a few of my choices:

“Giants in the Earth”. Angels come to earth because they are sexually aroused by human women and father children who become wicked giants and kill and generally are wicked.

“What’s “sexually aroused” Grandpa?” I could imagine being asked that, so I moved on.

“A Good Son and a Bad Son”. Cain murders Abel over some vegetable vs. meat thing. I don’t even understand that one. Let’s look further.

“The Great Flood” God drowns 99.99999% of the world’s population and he really isn’t very clear exactly why. They are just generally “wicked”. Drown the bastards. Mmmmn, still not real suitable for a toddler.

“Why did God drown all those people, Grandpa?” How the fuck am I supposed to know? Let’s avoid the question.

Well, moving on, we had the story of Dinah, when she has sex with this uncircumcised guy, so her brothers trick the guy, who, by the way is trying to make it right by marrying her. The brothers end up killing a lot of people, mostly men. In fact the Bible refers to it as a “town”. So, they kill the guys and take their stuff and their women.  Jacob, the father is worried that other nearby towns or here to fore unnamed ne’er do wells might get pissed and retaliates, so they move.

No “Hey, sorry for killing all those guys.” Just a “Yea, we tricked them. We got some really hot women out of the deal”. God, apparently was OK with this.  Again, I don’t get it so I chose not to read the story to my grandson.

The whole sordid tale is in your Bible at Genesis, Chapter 34.

Looking further there were many other stories, rife with sex, death, people turning into salt, the walls of cities crashing and the entire population slaughtered, guys selling their brother into slavery and other unsavory tales.

It occurred to me that the Bible is indeed an unsavory book, full of sex, violence, slaughter and suffering, most of which is caused by, directed by, ordered by or ignored by God.

We watched a Bob the Builder video instead.

But, the point is the Bible is at best “R” rated. At least as far as violence and death. Regarding sex, it approaches an “X” rating.

For examples, we have this titillating tale from Genesis 38:12-19 (ASV):

38:12 And in process of time Shua’s daughter, the wife of Judah, died; and Judah was comforted, and went up unto his sheep-shearers to Timnah, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. 38:13 And it was told Tamar, saying, Behold, thy father-in-law goeth up to Timnah to shear his sheep. 38:14 And she put off from her the garments of her widowhood, and covered herself with her veil, and wrapped herself, and sat in the gate of Enaim, which is by the way to Timnah; for she saw that Shelah was grown up, and she was not given unto him to wife. 38:15 When Judah saw her, he thought her to be a harlot; for she had covered her face. 38:16 And he turned unto her by the way, and said, Come, I pray thee, let me come in unto thee: for he knew not that she was his daughter-in-law. And she said, What wilt thou give me, that thou mayest come in unto me? 38:17 And he said, I will send thee a kid of the goats from the flock. And she said, Wilt thou give me a pledge, till thou send it? 38:18 And he said, What pledge shall I give thee? And she said, Thy signet and thy cord, and thy staff that is in thy hand. And he gave them to her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him. 38:19 And she arose, and went away, and put off her veil from her, and put on the garments of her widowhood. 38:20 And Judah sent the kid of the goats by the hand of his friend the Adullamite, to receive the pledge from the woman’s hand: but he found her not. 38:21 Then he asked the men of her place, saying, Where is the prostitute, that was at Enaim by the wayside? And they said, There hath been no prostitute here. 38:22 And he returned to Judah, and said, I have not found her; and also the men of the place said, There hath been no prostitute here. 38:23 And Judah said, Let her take it to her, lest we be put to shame: behold, I sent this kid, and thou hast not found her.

Basically, Judah, an ancestor of Jesus has sex with his daughter-in-law, Tamar. I have several problems with this. First,  she planned this as when Judah was on the way to shear his sheep she covered herself so He would not recognize her.

Second, He thinks she’s is a prostitute so he decides that he would knock off a piece on the road to the  sheep shearing. Of course, they haggle over price. So, Judah offers her a “kid of the goats”. I am not sure what that is, but hey if it buys you a piece of ass, it must be a good thing. I am not sure I would try that now days. I’m sure you’d get farther with a hundred, but whatever works.

If you read on, she does this for some fucked up Hebrew reason. Really, who the fuck knows why? Apparently God has no problem with this whole scenario.

There are so many things wrong with this, on so many levels from a Biblical and Judeo/Christian viewpoint.  Judah has sex with his daughter-in-law. Judah has sex with someone not his wife. Judah thinks he’s banging a ho.

Tamar has sex with her father-in-law. Tamar has sex with someone not her husband. Tamar pretends to be a  ho.

Personally, I don’t care who anyone fucks. I don’t hold to the Judeo/Christian principals of morality, and apparently Judah didn’t either. But since this Blog is dedictated to ridiculing Bible thumpers, it’s a relevant point. 

God doesn’t seem to give a shit. No problem. So go fuck a harlot. No sweat. Don’t worry about what they say in the New Testament. The Messiah will still come through your lineage. That was apparently a big thing. As a side point, if a thousand years after I die, one of my ancestors is born with wings, a 24 inch dick and can shoot gold coins out of his ass, what do I care? Remember me? I’m fucking dead.

But apparently the “Messiah descending from you” was such a big thing that you would almost have to expect to live again, although the Old Testament says little about it.

Anyway, Judah is still dead, by the way, according to the Bible. I have not seen anything about him coming back to life on CNN, although, he is likely a conservative, and so am I, but still nary a word from Fox.

Bill O’Reilly: “This just in, Judah, the daughter-in-law fucking, sheep shearing ancient Jew of the Bible came back to life today in Jerusalem. He claims to be Jesus ancestor. Lawyers are locked in a heated legal battle over the legal rights to use the cross as a symbol, the phrases, “Jesus H. Christ”, “Christ All Mighty ”, “Jeez”, “Holy Jumping Jesus, King of the Jews” and variation, thereof”

Just like any other crazy Bible shit, it could happen. 

Hey, Judah, Good luck with your cut of the Jesus estate.

The First Post in the Series, “Dicks in the Bible”: Why Did God Give Man a Foreskin, Only to Require Him to Have it Cut Off?

Did you know that the foreskin is very similar to the skin in a person’s eyelids? In fact, in the rare instances when babies are born without eyelids, doctors will transplant the skin from the foreskin and actually make eyelids.

It works very well, except that the kid is a little cock eyed.

Anyway, good question. It seems that God made circumcision mandatory for Abraham, just before Isaac’s birth.

From the Jehovah’s Witness rag, Insight on the Scriptures, page 469

God said: “This is my covenant that you men will keep . . . Every male of yours must get circumcised.” Every male in Abraham’s household of both his descendants and dependents was included, and so Abraham, his 13-year-old son Ishmael, and all his slaves took upon themselves this “sign of the covenant.” New slaves brought in also had to be circumcised. From then on, any male of the household, slave or free, was to be circumcised the eighth day after birth. Disregard for this divine requirement was punishable by death.—Ge 17:1, 9-14, 23-27.

Those familiar with the Bible will understand all the references to circumcision. Those who are not may join my Church, “The Church of Cool Bad Stuff” and become a dues paying member. As your leader, I will now be referred to as “Your Ass-Holiness”. I will then enlighten you with the truth, but not before the check clears.

By the way, we have an immediate need for several spiritual women to assume missionary positions. Please email your application and a nude picture (for medical purposes only, get your mind out of the gutter) to: isnrblog@yahoo.com. Come on, sisters don’t be shy.

Anyway, back to the subject at “hand”, pun intended. Basically, circumcision is the removal of the prepuce, or foreskin, from the male penis. It is usually done on newborns. The Jews did it when a male child was 8 days old.

There is some evidence that circumcision may have some medical and sanitary benefits. But to the Hebrews, it was likely simply ceremonial because, if you recall from the above quote, the Bible does say that disregard for this divine requirement was punishable by death. One who was uncircumcised, was considered “unclean”, thus one who is circumcised was “clean” and what Hebrew would want to be unclean? You can’t get into Country Clubs, your kids can’t get into the good schools. You know the drill.

 Which brings up the interesting question, how would anyone know? Did they have dick inspections? I have a lot of male friends and unless we go the same club, workout and shower I have no idea who is circumcised and who isn’t. And I reeeaallly don’t care to know.  

Back to Dicks in the Bible: Here is an interesting tidbit from the Watchtower, 3/1/75, page 135:

“It is now known that there are sound physical reasons making the eighth day ideal. Not until the fifth to the seventh day after birth is a normal amount of the blood-clotting element known as “vitamin K” in the baby’s system. Another essential clotting element, prothrombin, seems to be higher on the eighth day than at any other time during a child’s life. Based on this evidence, college physician S. I. McMillen concludes: “The perfect day to perform a circumcision is the eighth day.”—None of These Diseases, pp. 22, 23.”

So of course, the Jo Ho’s jump all over this as evidence that God revealed to the Jews that infants should be circumcised on the eighth day. “How would the Jews know? Only God knew!” So, has modern science provided the deluded with a fresh reason for their faith, that circumcision was divinely prescribed to the Jews?  

From the website: http://www.scribd.com/doc/16168548/Should-Our-Baby-Be-Circumcised,

“Commenting on this, the noted Dr. Alan F. Guttmacher says:

“It is noteworthy that the early Jews, who made many interesting observations in both medicine and hygiene, fixed the operation for the eighth day. This was probably arrived at by trial and error. Not an inconsiderable number of those done before the eighth day probably bled dangerously, while those done on the eighth day rarely bled excessively. Modern medicine has found a possible explanation in Vitamin K. This vitamin . . . contributes to the process of blood-clotting. . . . At birth the level in the baby’s blood is relatively low, and it drops even lower during the first few days of life, since the child cannot manufacture its own Vitamin K until it swallows a healthy supply of germs. The baby’s intestinal tract then begins to produce its own Vitamin K, and the supply gradually rises until it reaches an adequate level when the baby is a week old.”

“Of course, Bible students will dispute one point with Dr. Guttmacher. The “many interesting observations” made by the early Jews, such as the diagnosis and treatment of disease, the importance of clean water, quarantine, the value of frequent washing and bathing, and precautionary measures in the handling of blood, cadavers, wastes, and sexual matters, including circumcision on the eighth day, were not arrived at by “trial and error,” but by divine revelation.”

OK. So. lets say some ancient Hebrew family shits in their front yard. There are flies all over the place, drawn by the shit. They notice that when they walk a distance from the house and shit, the flies go where they shit. So, they make the observation that not only do we not shit near the house, but if we dig a hole and bury it, the flies really go away.

I need God to tell me that?  Other than the fact that I would have to dodge pile of shit each morning, just to get the paper, the whole yard would smell…well, like shit. People, in general, don’t like the smell of shit. This is one of those things you just know.

The same with other “scientific revelations” I eat pork. I get sick. Some people die. We all quit eating pork. I don’t need God to tell me that either.  How many times have you gone to a restaurant and ended up puking your guts out?  When, I am hugging the toilet bowl, cursing raw oysters, I now where I ate them. I ain’t never going back there again…oh, God…bbwwwaahhhhhhh….disgusting.

The ancients were very good at observation, observing the stars, etc. They would quickly learn that the eighth day was the best dick cutting day.

As a side point, the ancient Egyptians, with reportedly no help from the God of the Bible, developed mumification techniques that modern science has yet to decipher. So much for “If it’s advanced science, it must be from God”.

But the real point is, if God told the Hebrews that the foreskin MUST be cut off, why did he put it there in the first place?  And he calls it “unclean” on top of it? Hey, God makes dicks but he can’t make them right? As long as we’re on the subject, He could have given me a little more length, but lets not quibble.

“Oh, it was to test the Hebrews faith”. Yea, well fuck you. Whose faith gets tested when you cut an eight day old kid’s dick with a flint rock? I’ve seen it done. No wonder they do it as an infant. Any older and the kid would likely knife the Rabbi’s dick back.

But back to the point that God could have made the perfect dick. But, nooooo. He choses to instead create a painful ritual in the Old Testiment that was soooo important to the Jews, but in the New Testament, He does away with it! What fucking reason was there for the whole exercise to begin with?

Again, in what universe does this whole scenario make any sense at all?

More “Dicks in the Bible” coming up. By the way, I did get an interesting email from a Sister Nicole. Are those real? I don’t really care, just asking.

Here’s a Great Funny Bible Site.

A short post today.

A fellow Blogger, Steve Wells has a site called “The Skeptics Annotated Bible”, where the Bible is looked at and commented on on a scripture by scripture bases.

He draws some very interesting conclusions.

It’s a hoot on a hat.

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com

Steve also has a Blog, Dwindling in Unbelief,  http://dwindlinginunbelief.blogspot.com/. More interesting stuff.

Thanks to Steve for linking to isnrblog.

A Comic Strip Asks the Ultimate Question

Sometimes we find the most piercing question in the most unlikely places.

From one of my favorite comic strips, “Non Sequitur”, by Wiley. Read the whole strip and look at the question in the last frame:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Indeed, why is “Wisdom” always dispensed so cryptically?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, why bother with the thousands words? If God has something to tell us, why does He do so through the cryptic, mythical, Holy-coded, million word Bible?

Just appear to us, all of us and tell us in ten minutes what you want from us. Ten minutes? Can you spare the time?

Just so you know, in the time it took to write this post, untold numbers of humans have suffered numerous idignities and deaths including rape, beating, starvation, torture, incurable disease, watching their children suffer and die while they are helpless to intervene, just to mention a few.

If it’s worth a mention, untold numbers have also suffered economic loss, lost their homes by foreclosure, flood, mudslide, tsunami or earthquake. Corrupt politicians, business and religious leaders swindle millions. Cruel dictators inflict pain on their subjects for personal gain or just for the fun of it.

None of the suffering is a bit cryptic. God’s proposed solution remain cryptic and subject to a wide range of wild and improvable interpretations by corrupt, deluded and demented religions

But hey, I’m sure you have a plan. And I’m sure millions more will suffer unjustly before it all stops.

Crazy Ass N.C. Church Plans to Burn Bibles and other Christian Books

The full article and link are below

The thing about crazy ass religious shit is that it never stops. I’m glad I chose this subject for a blog. I was thinking of doing a tropical fish blog, but irrational behavior and loony stuff are rare in the tropical fish world.

“Blue Gourami Claims Sponge Bob is the Anti-Christ”. This is a headline you are not likely to see anytime soon.

Although, there was this woman in Groton, Connecticut who fatally shot her husband, claiming that her goldfish “Luigi” told her to. It seems that she and Luigi were in love. That would explain her long baths, with Luigi, him playing hide and seek in that secret place that already smells like fish.

At any rate, religion is again fodder for the comedy cannon. Now, it seems a “North Carolina pastor says his church plans to burn Bibles and books by Christian authors on Halloween to light a fire under true believers.”

“Pastor Marc Grizzard told Asheville TV station WLOS that the King James Version of the Bible is the only one his small western North Carolina church follows. He says all other versions, such as the Living Bible, are “satanic” and “perversions” of God’s word.”

How does old Grizzy know all this? Why would Satan cause any Bibles to be written? Does Grizzy know the history of the King James Version? Can he explain why that version is the true version? Does Grizzy have a Holy Magic Bass that gives him this information? Is Mrs. Grizzy taking baths with the Magic Bass?

These are questions that demand answers!

Certainly, a major question for Grizzy is why would Satan cause any Bibles to be written? “Oh, so he could pervert the Word of God in an attempt to hide the truth of God.” If that’s the case, why is it that the King James Version has as many interpretations as it does readers? The King James Bible is already a cryptic, jumbled, contradictory fairy tale. It would seem to be to Satan’s advantage to leave it alone.

Also, has Grizzy indeed considered the origins of the King James Bible? So, just how’d we get the King James Version there, Bass Pastor?

Well, here’s the scoop. After he was made King of England in 1603, James, the 1st, arranged a conference at Hampton Court in order to settle religious differences between the Puritan wing of the Church of England and the Bishops. These “religious differences” were your typical “religious differences” as they had nothing to do with religion and more to do with who got what, who had power over whom and who got first dibs on the wenches. Religious bullshit politics as usual.

The Puritans were pressing both for a number of changes in the form or set of forms for public religious worship and for the bishops to be deprived of a share of parochial tithes.

 “No money for those Bishop fuckheads. Man, what Loooosers!! What a fine display of Godly love from these Holy Men. The Puritan’s demands were set out in what was known as The Millenary Petition, of which the full text is available at this link:

http://history.hanover.edu/project.html. What a boring piece of shit this is, but I bet old Grizzy hasn’t read it.

The King had already pretty much already agreed with the Puritans, to the consternation of the Bishops. Well, the conference opened on 14 January 1604 and in the end the bishops prevailed: no changes were made. 

Man, it sucked to be a Bishop. The King now doesn’t like you, you get no money, the Puritans are high fiving each other and giving you the finger. Assholes.

However, the conference was effectively the catalyst leading to the preparation of a new English Bible, the King James Bible. It was decided to proceed with a completely new translation to replace the Geneva bible in current use. This Bible, first published in England in 1560 (1569 in Scotland) was much disliked by James for its marginal notes which challenged his divine primacy as monarch.

The new Bible, the King James Version was first published in 1611. Although not initially popular it came to exert an enormous influence on the development of the English language.

This is condensed from the article at this link: http://www.twickenham-museum.org.uk/detail.asp?ContentID=22

While the King James Bible was being “revised” (remember it is a version, not a translation. A version is a revision of earlier works) if there were any controversies or questions they were solved by King James, after all he had the divine right of Kings, meaning he was appointed by God so who else would settle any controversies.

Toady, the Varlet: “Hey, King James, Basil says this verse should say “Lake of Basil”. I say it should say “Lake of Fire” but you have the final word. Which is it?”

“Hmmm” the King mutters. Stoking the royal beard “My divine self says that it should be the “Lake of Fish”

“Ooookkkayy” says Toady, the Varlet, rolling his eyes, “Lake of Fish it is”.

So back to Pastor Marc Grizzard and The Church of “What Crazy Shit Can We Do Today?”  The Bible that King James of England had redone to his liking, is the only true Bible? Remember, he had it redone because the Geneva bible, the version that was in current use, challenged his divine primacy as monarch.

So, I would guess Grizzy accepts that King James was indeed inspired by God to produce the only authentic and true Bible. So what if he had it redone because the Geneva bible challenged his divine primacy as monarch. Hey, facts or lack thereof don’t slow Pastor Grizzard or any other religious lunatic for that matter. Grizzy remains determined to make a total asshole of himself.

The point is that all during the Bible’s history there have been many Versions and Translations by numerous scholars and religious assholes, each with his own agenda.

Here is a fun fact about Jehovah’s Witnesses and their New World Translation. The Jo Hos, not to be outdone by King James and any of them there other counterfeit Bible translators working for Satan have their  own Bible too. They translated it all by themselves, too. Here is what they say about it:

 Watchtower 8/1/62, pg 480:

“The way these two words have been rendered in the New World Translation has given rise to the charge that the New World Bible Translation Committee let their religious beliefs influence them. That charge is true, but they did not do so wrongly, or unduly. The meaning that is to be given to these two Greek words depends upon what the entire Bible has to say about Jehovah God and Jesus Christ. How so? In that there is basis for translating these words either as “Deity,” “Divinity” or “Godhead” and so attributing personality to them, or as “Divine Nature,” “divine quality,” “Godship,” and having them merely denote qualities. Thus those who believe in the trinity will attach personality to these words, whereas those who do not will render them as qualities in view of the way God and Christ are described in the Scriptures and so as to harmonize the words with the rest of God’s Word. This emphasizes the fact that one simply cannot properly and accurately translate the Bible unless one clearly understands its teachings.”

Note the above says “the New World Bible Translation Committee let their religious beliefs influence them” and  “This emphasizes the fact that one simply cannot properly and accurately translate the Bible unless one clearly understands its teachings.”

If Jehovah’s Witnesses are translating the Bible, whose teachings will they favor. Why, theirs of course!  But the question is which came first “the Truth”, Witness Theology or a correct Bible from which to glean the truth? If you can learn the truth from any Bible, as the Jo Ho’s claim, why did they bother translating their own?

And to Grizzy’s consternation, the Jo Ho’s favor their Bible over the King James Version.

On the matter of which is the “correct Bible”, who the fuck knows and who the fuck cares. Just keep cranking out the crazy ass religious bullshit, you little deluded fanatics you, so I can have fodder for my blog.

In the meantime, when you’re not burning books Grizzy, maybe you, Mrs. Grizzy and the Magic Bass can have a threesome.

Fucking morons.

_________________________________

Here is the complete article:

N.C. Church Plans to Burn Bibles, Christian Books

Wed Oct 14, 3:14 pm ET

CANTON, N.C. – A North Carolina pastor says his church plans to burn Bibles and books by Christian authors on Halloween to light a fire under true believers.

Pastor Marc Grizzard told Asheville TV station WLOS that the King James version of the Bible is the only one his small western North Carolina church follows. He says all other versions, such as the Living Bible, are “satanic” and “perversions” of God’s word.

On Halloween night, Grizzard and the 14 members of the Amazing Grace Baptist Church also will burn music and books by Christian authors, such as Billy Graham and Rick Warren.

Telephone calls to the Amazing Grace Baptist Church and Grizzard’s home were not immediately returned Wednesday.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091014/ap_on_re_us/us_odd_halloween_book_burning

Jehovah’s Witnesses Still Discourage Higher Education

As a JW for 50 years from birth I have experienced the whole evolution of the Jo Ho higher education thing. All during my association with the Jo Ho’s, the constant mantra was against higher education.

This is what I was reading at age 18, from the Awake, May 22, 1969 page 15:

“All the evidence in fulfillment of Bible prophesy indicates that this corrupt system is due to end in a few years. Jesus foretold “This generation will by no means pass away until all these things occur”.

And from the same Awake, page 15:

“Therefore as a young person you will never fulfill any career that this system offers.”

So why bother with higher eductaion as the World is about to end? Just do the minimum and spend as much time as you can in the Jo Ho preaching work. In fact, you should devote yourself to it:

Further, they expected God to destroy the World in 1975 so up until 1975 we were reading this type of stuff:

From “Our Kingdom Ministry”, May 1974, page 3:

“Yes, since the summer of 1973 there have been new peaks in pioneers every month. Now there are 20,394 regular and special pioneers in the United States, an all-time peak. That is 5,190 more than there were in February 1973! A 34-percent increase! Does that not warm our hearts? Reports are heard of brothers selling their homes and property and planning to finish out the rest of their days in this old system in the pioneer service. Certainly this is a fine way to spend the short time remaining before the wicked world’s end.—1 John 2:17.”

What, you sold your house. quit you job, sold your stocks, quit college? Hey, who told you to do that?

But, never being ones to quit, when Armageddon did not come in 1975, they had a fall back prediction:

From: The Nations Shall Know That I Am Jehovah – How? 1971 p. 216:

JEHOVAH’S “SWORD” AGAINST “ALL THOSE OF FLESH”

9 Shortly, within our twentieth century, the “battle in the day of Jehovah” will begin against the modern antitype of Jerusalem, Christendom.”

So, in view of all this, why go to college. Also, you meet a lot of bad people there who may influence you to turn away from the Witnesses (meaning, you may learn stuff that shows the JW’s to be full of crap) Devote yourselves to the Truth (as interpreted by the Watchtower Society). Give us your life. Make more converts. Soon, God will reward you!

Since the World hasn’t ended, it may seem that  there is a JW loosening up of the “don’t go to college” mantra.

The Watchtower of 11/1/92, page 18 pointed out that what was considered as an adequate level of schooling required to earn a decent wage had changed and it had become difficult to find jobs with only a high school degree. So now is higher education is “permitted.”

Not withstanding that the Jo Ho’s cannot and generally do not punish officially anyone who goes to college, if you read the whole article fromt the above Watchtower, you’ll understand that the Jo Ho’s still discourage any type of education that doesn’t allow the person to devote themselves to the Watchtower cause.

While they may say officially that perhaps getting more than the minimum education may be to some advantage, the overwhelming consensus among the membership is still “Why go to college? You meet a lot of bad people there who may influence you to turn away from the Witnesses (meaning, you may learn stuff that shows the JW’s to be full of crap) Devote yourselves to the Truth (as interpreted by the Watchtower Society). Give us your life. Make more converts. Soon, God will reward you!” Gee, that sounds familiar.

But, what of most of the JW’s of my generation who, unlike myself, took the Watchtower Societies advice and did not get an education or career? Now in their 50’s and 60’s most do not have much money and no decent retirement.

In fact, I know of a “retired” couple, in their early 70’s who both work at a fast food place. I have known them for 40 years. They specifically did not seek a career and were full time door knockers (pioneers) for most of their life. And, yes they and many others are bitter. They are no longer Jo Ho’s.

“You want fries with that” is the new mantra of the Senior Citizen Jehovah’s Witness.

So to Jo Ho youth, as one who has had the experience of being heavily pressured not to pursue higher education, would you say that at 59 years old in 2009, I made the right choice? Higher eductaion did not cause me to leave the JW’s. Their lying false prophesies did, two of which I quote above.

“Oh, but it’s differant now! Armageddon is that much closer now!!”

Yea, sure it is. But, keep saying the world will end. You’re bound to be right at least once. In 2049 when your are wiping up hurl and lung butter at the local fuel depot, for minimum wage, remember this post. 

Don’t be a moron.

More Proof the Bible is Bull Shit.

Jehovah’s Witness and Bible thumpers like to continually harp on the scientific accuracy of the Bible as proof it was written by God. In an earlier post, I debunked the notion that the bible said the Earth was round before science proved it and when most people though it was flat, a little biblical factoid the Witnesses like to crow about. 

Recently I was on a JW Q&A, where as per usual, I stir shit up. It’s a gift. I asked if Jesus was wrong when he said in Mark 4:31: 

“Like a mustard grain, which at the time it was sown in the ground was the tiniest of all the seeds that are on the earth” New World Translation.

The American Standard Version says: “It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when it is sown upon the earth, though it be less than all the seeds that are upon the earth,” 

The New English Bible says “It is like a mustard seed that when sown in the ground, even though it is the smallest of all the seeds in the ground”

The King James Version says: “is less than all the seeds that be in the earth”.

The New Jerusalem Bible says “It is like a mustard seed which, at the time of its sowing, is the smallest of all the seeds on earth.

“The Catholic Douay Version says: ” It is as a grain of mustard seed: which when it is sown in the earth, is less than all the seeds that are in the earth:”

Jesus was apparently using the illustration that good things can come from a very small beginning, or something like that. His point is irrelevant. The real point is the glaring scientific inaccuracy of his statement. In fact the mustard seed in not the tiniest, smallest or “less” than all the seeds “in the earth”, “on earth” or “upon the earth”. Since they are some of the loudest Bible pounders, I’ll let the Jehovah’s Witnesses elaborate.“So Jesus was not “teaching a lesson in botany.”  Well, In Isaiah, Chap 20 where the Witnesses point to God looking at the “circle” of the earth as proof the bible is scientifically accurate, is God there giving an Astronomy lesson? I’ve already debunked that piece of disinformation, but they jump on it as proof of the Bible’s authorship.

From the Watchtower of 5/15/92, page 5:

Botany: Some wrongly conclude that the Bible is inaccurate because Jesus Christ spoke of “a mustard grain” as “the tiniest of all the seeds.” (Mark 4:30-32) Likely, Jesus meant the seed of the black mustard plant (Brassica nigra or Sinapis nigra), which is only about 0.039 to 0.063 inch [1 to 1.6 mm] in diameter. Though there are smaller seeds, such as fine-as-powder seeds of the orchid,  Jesus was not talking to people who grew orchids. Those Galilean Jews knew that of the various types of seeds sown by local farmers, the mustard seed was the tiniest. Jesus was talking about the Kingdom, not teaching a lesson in botany.

Is the fact the that he was “not teaching a lesson in botany” give him license to state a provable unscientific fact? What would be the point? Jesus was wrong. The mustard seed is not the smallest seed in creation. The seed of the orchid is. But God and/or God’s son, (choose your own theology) didn’t know this fact or chose to state a scientific inaccuracy. He could have said the mustard sees is “one of the smallest”, is “among” the smallest or that it simply “is very small”. His audience would have gotten the sense of his illustration. It was not important for him to say “It is like a mustard seed which, at the time of its sowing, is the smallest of all the seeds on earth.” The fact that it was very small and recognized for being so by his audience would have been sufficient for him to make his point. He didn’t say that. He said the smallest seed in creation. Science proves otherwise.

Jesus was wrong.The brain dead, delusional religious morons on the Q&A responded as expected. In order to believe in and have faith in things you cannot see, you have to suspend your ability to think critically, analytically and logically. No where was this more apparent than in the responses to my post.“You’re nit picking!!” they cried, accusatorily wagging the cyber finger of divine justice in my face. Hey, I didn’t say Jesus was God/God’s son and thus perfect and all knowing, they did. I don’t believe the Bible is God’s word or that Jesus ever lived. But, if he is wrong, just once he is not, by definition perfect. He was wrong. Don’t kill the messenger. Explain the verse, answer the question.

 “It’s not important. It’s the message”. Bullshit, it is important, it’s very important. If the opposite was true, you can bet your ass the JW’s and every other delusional Bible thumper would be screeching about how the Bible was so scientifically accurate. “How could Jesus know that the, mustard seed was the smallest in the whole earth unless he had that divine knowledge? See, the Bible is from God!!!”

Do you want to talk about nit picking? Get in on the argument about John 1:1. They will argue endlessly over the notion that Jesus was “a” god, or Jesus was “the” God. The nit picking charge, is itself not relevant, as most Bible controversies are, by definition, nit picking. Brilliant men, spend there lives pouring over ancient manuscripts to answer such “nit picky” questions.

“Oh, but you have to take his comment about the mustard seed in context. His audience knew it to be the smallest seed, so it made sense to them”

Well, who is Jesus’ audience? Do Jehovah’s Witnesses and other modern day Christians think of themselves as Jesus audience? Does Jesus talk to you through the pages of the Bible? Was Jesus not capable of thinking ahead and realizing that a future audience, with accurate botanical knowledge may know that indeed the mustard seed is not the smallest seed “in the world”?

Would it not, then in the much broader context, have made sense for the all knowing Jesus to say “one of the smallest seeds in the WHOLE earth? Or, is the Bible, not from God, written by men, who at that time thought the mustard seed indeed was the smallest seed in the whole earth?

If you’re a Christian, you better be able to reconcile in your own mind that Jesus made a provable scientific error here and therefore is not perfect. If you choose to ignore the obvious, than you have surrendered all you critical, logical and analytical thinking skills, to what ever authority figure you’ve attached yourself to. How many Christians who read this will actually think about it, research it and give it an honest appraisal. Few, if any.

Most Christians will dismiss me as a ranting, demon possessed hater of God, whose primary purpose in life is to rob them of their precious relationship with the Almighty, to screw up their chances of salvation.  Well, you can rest easy about me. I don’t give a flying fuck what you believe or weather you live or die. In other words, I care as much about you as you do about me.  

The real funny thing is that all you hopelessly delusional competing groups of “Christians” think every  other group is trying to do what you accuse me of, rob you of your salvation, block your entrance to heaven, turn you against Jesus/God.

And you’re right!  To, Jehovah’s Witnesses, if you ain’t one of them, God is going to kill you. The Baptists think all the Witnesses are going to hell. The Catholics, as enunciated by Pope Benedict think all none Catholic Churches are counterfeit. You all think your right and God is going to punish everyone else.

 This is a fine kettle of fish, as my old grandma would say.

Hoards of delusional, or worse self delusional assholes, frantically running in circles, trying to please their version of God as given the them by their Authority Figure. Who claims exclusive communication with the Almighty, who incidentally probably failed botany class.

In my fantasy, I picture myself sitting on the periphery of your circle in a beach chair drinking a Corona, watching you all frantically chase after salvation, Occasionally I will put out my foot and trip one of you with a post like the above. It’s just fun to watch you flail and fall face down into the sand.

Religion is such bull shit. I mean , com’on!!!    

A Big Baptist Brawl in Florida!!!

This is some funny shit!!

TURMOIL AT FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH OF OCALA (Florida)

Associate Pastors Fired

The six assistants had criticized the substance and style of Pastor Mark Cummins’ leadership

“The entrance to First Baptist Church of Ocala is lit by a ray of sunshine on Monday. The sunny day stood in dark contrast to the clouds of uncertainty that hung over the church after a tumultous Sunday service that left its congregation divided.”

By Bill Thompson
Staff writer

Published: Tuesday, November 11, 2008 at 6:30 a.m.
Last Modified: Tuesday, November 11, 2008 at 5:51 a.m.

“OCALA – One year ago this month, Dr. Mark Cummins arrived in Ocala as the new pastor at one of the community’s largest churches.”

“Setting up shop at the First Baptist Church of Ocala after relocating from South Florida, Cummins took to his new role as spiritual and administrative head of his flock with the intensity, discipline and can-do attitude of a former U.S. Marine, which he was some 20 years ago.”

You can read the whole article here:

http://www.ocala.com/article/20081111/NEWS/811111000/1402/NEWS?Title=Associate_pastors_fired

More stuff from the article:

“But some top lieutenants at the church have taken exception not only to Cummins’ leadership style, which one church member likened to a dictatorship at one of Ocala’s most prominent Protestant houses of worship, but to the substance as well.”

“A brewing behind-the-scenes controversy at First Baptist quickly came to a public boil on Sunday, spilling over into the pews and, according to several church members, leaving its large congregation divided over their pastor and anxious about the church’s future – even though many of the rank and file remain in the dark about how it all came to be.”

                  _____________________________

The root of the problem is that the membership does not know why the six associate pastors were fired. Some of these guys had been with the Church for many years. It seems that the six Associate Pastors didn’t like Cummins and subsequently wanted him gone, but he turned the tables on them and they got gone instead, to the dismay of many church members.

Subsequently, the Sunday morning worship service turned ugly and unruly, with shouts of “We want the truth” and “speak truth”. It was reported that many members surged in protest toward the stage, and there were unconfirmed reports of parishioners shouting “Cut his balls off”. 

It reminds me of the frequent brawls the Apostles had in the Bible over who would sit next to Jesus, who was Jesus “pet”, whose turn it was to have his feet washed by Jesus, important stuff like that.

I’m sure you remember, from the Gospel accounts that usually, after several rounds of sacramental wine, the brawl would start with someone randomly throwing a sandal at the guys who got to sit next to Jesus and before you knew it, it was a free for all. Usually, Judas, being the runt of the litter would end up in a headlock or someone would yell “pig pile”, and they all would pile on him. I think that was a factor in his ratting them out to the Po Po.

There was a theory that they would frequently give Judas wedgies. Bible scholars have since debunked that theory, proving that they actually didn’t wear underwear, making the mental vision of 12 brawling guys, wearing only tunics, just that much more disturbing.

There are no reports of sandal throwing or wedgies at Sundays brawl, though Bible scholars are still is disagreement over weather Southern Baptists wear underwear. There is a report that a choir member in the top row got a woman’s size seven black pump to the head, causing her to fall forward, sending choir members sprawling, like so many dominos.

There is also an unconfirmed report of someone getting on the stage and grabbing a guy by the organ. There were also rumors of a member getting beaned by a can of snuff and several “Bible and Hymnal” related injuries.

“It was a mess!” one parishioner is quoted as saying “Some crazy bitch hit me in the balls with her purse”

Pastor Cummins, being a retired Marine, is reportedly considering putting sharpshooters in the balcony, installing metal detectors and confiscating everyone’s shoes, Bibles, flammable liquids, small arms and anything that can be thrown,  at each service. Maybe the membership will think twice before messing with an ex-Marine.

One parishoner was over heard saying:”Now, you can’t even bring your six shooter to Church! Wecome to Obama’s America”

What the end result of all this will be is anyone’s guess. This same church split many years ago after their church burned down, with some wanting to rebuild on the same land and other wanting to build a new church in a different spot. I understand that the new church was built on the new land, but not before a series of similar brawls, drive by shootings and sandal attacks in the Mall.

It’s always fun to watch hypocrites act like real people. Christians are no different from anyone else, when they don’t get their way. What a great example of Christianity in action for anyone who may be contemplating joining the church or becoming a Baptist.

Although, there is another angle to this. If anyone at First Baptist has any marketing savvy, they will see an opportunity here. If you add an open bar, you could have Saturday night fight services! Hey, that would get me to church. I would think membership would soar.

“You mean you can fight and drink beer? Cool!!”

Besides, I’d love to give a Baptist one of my size 11’s upside the head.

 

It’s “Slam the Baptists Week” here at ISNRBLOG

More Baptist Bullshit.

This was from an earlier post, but in light of the recent brawl at the First Baptist Church in Ocala, Florida it seems fitting:

On August 14, 2007 the “Americans United for Separation of Church and State” stated that the IRS Should Investigate Partisan Political Activity of a Southern Baptist Church in California.They allege that the Pastor of the First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park, Calif., may have violated federal tax law barring electioneering by non-profit groups.

In a complaint to the IRS, Americans United’s (Rev. Barry W.) Lynn said Dr. Wiley S. Drake, pastor of the First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park, issued a press release Aug. 11 endorsing Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. Apparently Mr. Drake used Church resources to endorse GOP hopeful Huckabee as God’s Candidate in Violation of Federal Tax Law, says the Church-State Watchdog Group. Drake’s press release was issued on church letterhead. He also endorsed Huckabee on a church-affiliated radio show and featured a Huckabee campaign official.Americans United’s Lynn says the church’s intervention in partisan politics merits an IRS investigation.

How did the very Christian, Pious and “holier than thou” Dr. Wiley react? According to Yahoo News, Wed Aug 15, 3:17 PM ET this is what happened. “Instead of responding to Americans United’s concern of illegal activity, Drake issued yesterday afternoon a plea to his supporters to join in “imprecatory prayers” (curses) every morning for Americans United and its staff. ”The Rev. Barry W. Lynn, Americans United executive director, said it is telling that Drake declined to respond to his group’s charges of tax law violations.

“Instead of addressing our concerns of illegally melding religion and partisan politics, Dr. Drake has launched an outlandish attack on us,” said Lynn. “Calling for curses on us might distract Drake’s supporters, but it won’t help him with the IRS. I trust the tax agents will investigate Drake’s use of church resources to endorse a candidate for public office.“

Drake’s attack included some florid rhetoric.”In light of the recent attack from the ememies (sic) of God I ask the children of God to go into action with Imprecatory Prayer,” Drake said, in an Aug. 14 press statement issued from the First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park. “Especially against Americans United for Seperation (sic) of Church and State.”“The righteous have dominion,” Drake said, “but only through imprecatory prayer against the ungodly.”

Drake singled out two Americans United staff members whose names appeared as contacts on the press release. The pastor’s missive said the imprecatory prayers should “specifically target” AU Communications Director Joe Conn or Communications Associate Jeremy Leaming.In a message left in Lynn’s voicemail, Drake said he had been urging his supporters to take similar action against Lynn for many years.

In a section of his press release called “How to Pray,” Drake includes a long list of biblical citations that call on God to smite enemies. For example, the alleged enemies of God “shall be judged,” “condemned,” and “his days be few…” Additionally, supporters should pray that the enemy’s “children be fatherless, and his wife a widow,” and “his children be continually vagabonds, and beg; let them seek bread also out of their desolate places.“Let there be none to extend mercy unto him,” Drake quoted, “Neither let there be any to favour his fatherless children.”

Drake is here basically calling for his supporters to pray for the death of certain members of the AU. In addition, Drake says his “supporters should pray that the enemy’s “children be fatherless, and his wife a widow,” and “his children be continually vagabonds, and beg; let them seek bread also out of their desolate places.”

Whatever happened to dialog? No need for any. Drake is right, He’s on God’s side and if you disagree with him, God will kill you. He is just one step away from the Inquisition. All he needs is Governments Support. Ask yourself, if he had the authority would he kill or preside over the killing of these members of the AU? Can you see him smugly and piously condemning the “ungodly” and having them drawn and quartered or burned alive?

The point is the spirit of the inquisition still lives in the heart of Organized Religion. Save for the power and blessing of government, Drake would have people killed for opposing him. This is the “tyranny that Christianity imposes” of which Thomas Jefferson spoke about. It’s not dead or gone, by any means. It still lurks in Organized Religion, waiting and hoping for its chance to kill you if you don’t believe their way and force you to live as they dictate.

What of his followers? How many of them are praying for the death of these individuals? “Hey. Our Leader, Drake said we should do it and even gave us examples of prayers so, it must be right.”

What happens when none of these people die and the IRS investigates the Church anyway? Drake said all this in August of 2007 and as of this writing, January, 2008, (now November, 2008) none of the “cursed” people have died. I seriously doubt that anyone will actually die, but perhaps Drake himself really believes God is going to kill these people, just because they disagree with him. But the real question is, are Drake’s followers actually giving this situation any serious thought?

I would be. In fact most rational people would. About now, I would be leaving that Church, as fast as my feet would carry me. Don’t think this is the only Pastor, Minister or Religious “Authority Figure” that says these kinds of things. This is just one of the more blatant and out in the open incidents.Religion will impose it’s will in the form of tyranny to the extent that the Government lets it. It obviously has the will and it’s constantly seeking the means. It’s when it forms powerful PACs, gets your tax money while remaining tax exempt and seeks legislation based on the Bible that it is insidious and wrong.

This church is Southern Baptist Church and part of the Southern Baptist Convention and a friend of mine emailed them asking them if they supported Drakes position.John Revell, Editor of SBC LIFE answered the issue and deftly side stepped it by not answering the question He said, in part “Actually, the SBC only takes such official positions at its annual meetings in June. Rev. Drake’s comments on “imprecatory prayers” were made since the last meetings. However, the Southern Baptist Convention has absolutely no authority whatsoever over pastors or churches.”

To which I say, bullshit! The SBC’s sidestepping of the issue is a cope out. Drake is one of Thiers and he is way out of line. The SBC could simply say that what he says the Central Organization does not believe in or support. But the SBC doesn’t say that because I think they really don’t disagree and in fact most of Southern Baptist membership has no problem with the killing of the abortion doctor or Drakes “imprecatory prayers”.  

Where is the outcry from those self righteous Baptists? Their silence is deafening.Personally, I think abortion is wrong and murder, but from a scientific standpoint. It’s ludicrous to argue that a fetus, in any stage is not a human being. The murder of an abortion doctor is also wrong and the Southern Baptist Convention, by not taking a stand betrays its complicity with murder and Drakes psychotic screeches for God to kill someone that dares to disagree with him or points out where he is violating the law.The timing excuse is simply lame. I bet they’d scream their lungs out if a Church made a gay person pastor or if a Southern Baptist Church came out in favor of abortion, no matter what time of year it was.

Hypocrisy abounds in all Religion, the Southern Baptists included

First Baptist Church, Ocala, Florida: “Are you ready to RRuummmbbbllee???

Hold the phone, the suspension is building. The mood is tense, every one is on edge asking the same question:

 

“Will there be another brawl at First Baptist, tomorrow?”

 

Buy your tickets now, they’re going fast! I understand they may have it on “Pay per View”.

 

The Vegas odds makers are two to one for former Jarhead, and thus far the victor, Pastor “fire them if they disagree!” Mark Cummins.  The opponents, the six fired Assistant Pastors, have dubbed themselves “The Dirty Half Dozen. It’s rumored that they have a sure fire strategy to defeat Cummins, involving a full frontal assault, up the middle with folding chairs, water balloons and rotten fruit. If you are in the front pews, just wear your rain gear.

 

No one two give up easily, reports say that the embattled Cummins has put tank traps in the parking lot and a mine field in front of the pulpit.

 

Katy bar the door, the fur was flying in the press this week. Seems Mr. Cummins has had a similar effect at every church he goes to, depending on who you believe. You either love him or you hate him, no middle ground.

 

He is described as “manipulative, dishonest and untrustworthy” while at the same time some call him “a man of great integrity and character”. Baptists, Christians disagreeing!! Shocking!!”

 

Who cares about all that bullshit. The point is, the guy seems to increase membership everywhere he goes, which increases revenues. He’s good for the bottom line, which is, of course…the bottom line. You can bet the Church will be busting at the seams this Sunday. Members will show up who only go on to church on Christmas and Easter, you know the type. They wear the biggest crosses and say “praise Jesus” even when you step on there foot. Even they wouldn’t miss this.

 

So when the pews overflow with members who would normally, at church time, have their tailgating party all set up, what does that tell you? Christians love a good fight.

 

So, Mr. Cummins succeeds in filling seats again and isn’t that the whole point?

 

“Oh, He’s bringing people to Christ!” Yea, but he forgot to tell you about the “contribution”.

 

You can bet the donation plates will be overflowing. Hey, who wouldn’t pay to see a good fight? The smart money is on Cummins.

 

Look for an update here next week, if anything good happens.

Michigan Minister Sent to Prison for Warning Judge He Could be Tortured by God

Associated Press, Wednesday, 11/12/2008

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,451086,00.html

DETROIT  —  The American Civil Liberties Union is taking up the case of a southwestern Michigan minister who was sent to prison for warning that a judge could be tortured by God.

The ACLU said it asked the state appeals court Wednesday to release the Rev. Edward Pinkney on bail while he appeals a probation violation. Lawyers claim his free-speech rights were trampled in Berrien County.

In 2007, Pinkney, 60, was convicted of paying people to vote in a Benton Harbor election.

Months later, he wrote an article in a Chicago newspaper, People’s Tribune, saying the judge who handled his case, Alfred Butzbaugh, could be punished by God with curses, fever and “extreme burning” unless he changed his ways.

In June 2008, another Berrien County judge, Dennis Wiley, sent Pinkney to prison for three to 10 years after finding that he had violated his probation by making a threat against the judge.

“Those are words that would … put the fear of God into anybody, as a threat that this could happen to them if they do not do what Mr. Pinkney wants him to do, whatever that might be,” Wiley said, according to a transcript.

“To our knowledge, this case marks the first time in modern history that a preacher has been imprisoned for predicting what God might do,” said Michael Steinberg, legal director for the ACLU in Michigan.

Pinkney is in a state prison in the Upper Peninsula, roughly 600 miles from his home. While incarcerated, he received 3,500 votes as the Green Party candidate for Congress in Michigan’s 6th District.

____________________

Can you go to prison for saying a judge has lost his mind?

That is not to say the Rev. Pinkney is not wrong, delusional and just fucking crazy as a loon. He was convicted of paying people to vote in a Benton Harbor election. Not to “Christian”.

Everything was OK, until Ole’ Pinky wrote that the Judge in his case, Alfred Butzbaugh, “could be punished by God with curses, fever and “extreme burning” unless he changed his ways”.

I mean, Pinky was on probation. What do you do when you’re on probation? Shut the fuck up!!

Again, a religious asshole threatens someone who interferes with his illegal activity with retribution from the Almighty. It’s like God is this guy’s hit man or something. What’s with the “curses, fever and “extreme burning”? Just ask God to kill the guy, although after R&R in Bangkok, I was pissing razor blades for a month. So I’m here to tell you “extreme burning” is a serious threat.

So another Judge throws the book at him and he’s in the Big House for three to ten. Who is the craziest, the religious asshole who uses God as a threat, or the Judge who takes him seriously?

There has to be more to this than a loony “threat”. I mean if he had made a voodoo doll of the Judge and tried to put a curse on him, would that still be considered a violation of probation?  How far do you want to take this? Pretty soon we’ll be putting five year olds in the slammer for calling some one a “pee pee head”. My kid almost got kicked out of Kindergarten for saying that….and peaking under the teacher’s skirt, which I defended as “boyish curiosity”. Christ, you would of thought he tied her down and did Her in front of the class, the way the bitch was acting.

I suppose I didn’t help matters much when I reminded her that irritability in middle aged women is often due to lack of sexual fulfillment. Hey, I thought I was helping.

Anyway, the ACLU sees “merit in this case” so you can bet it’s going to continue to be a circus.

Personally, they should throw Pinky and the ACLU in a deep hole and toss a little food in everyday, until the noise stops. Then, just file the hole. Or fill in the hole first. Who gives a shit.

The real scary thought is that Pinky was running for public office and actually got some votes. It just goes to prove my point. The problem with America today is that there are a lot of people should not be allowed to reproduce, vote or drive cars.

 

 

 

More Bullshit from the Pope.

 

Here is the article By Flavia Krause-Jackson and Lorenzo Totaro, from Bloomberg:

Market Economy and Ethics

 

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/11/20/pope_prediction/

 

 

Pope Had `Prophecy’ of Market Collapse in 1985, Tremonti Says

Nov. 20 (Bloomberg) — Pope Benedict XVI was the first to predict the crisis in the global financial system, a “prophecy” dating to a paper he wrote when he was a cardinal, Italian Finance Minister Giulio Tremonti said.

 

“The prediction that an undisciplined economy would collapse by its own rules can be found” in an article written by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who became pope in April 2005, Tremonti said yesterday at Milan’s Cattolica University.

 

German-born Ratzinger in 1985 presented a paper entitled “Market Economy and Ethics” at a Rome event dedicated to the Church and the economy. The future pope said a decline in ethics “can actually cause the laws of the market to collapse.”

 

Pope Benedict in an Oct. 7 speech reflected on crashing markets and concluded that “money vanishes, it is nothing” and warned that “the only solid reality is the word of God.”

 

The Vatican’s official newspaper, l’Osservatore Romano, on the same day criticized the free-market model for having “grown too much and badly in the past two decades.”

 

 

The entire text of the Pope’s bullshit article can be found here:

 

http://www.acton.org/publications/occasionalpapers/publicat_occasionalpapers_ratzinger.php

 

I read this article several times and Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger (is Cardinal his middle name?), who is now Pope Benedict XVI, basically says an undisciplined economy would collapse by its own rules. No shit.

 

I saw nothing that would remotely indicate the Pope “prophesied” the present economic situation, but read it yourself.  I would say an undisciplined AND unregulated economy would collapse by its own rules. Is that a big revelation? Did God tell me that in a dream? No. It’s only common sense. As a Conservative, I advocate minimal governmental interference in the free market, but at times things really have to be regulated or people will be scammed.

 

The point is here that the Catholics, ever on the lookout for some shred of credibility, hail some statements as a “Prophesy” made by Grand Master P. predicting the economic crisis we have today.  Is there evidence of a divine prophesy in this article, from the Pope?

 

The Pope-a-Dope article speaks in very vague and general terms. It seems His real theme is that morality should be an integral part of the market, or the economy. Since that doesn’t happen, according to him in a free market, his article actually advocates a centralized market or Socialism.

 

 From the article:

 

“Following the tradition inaugurated by Adam Smith , this position holds that the market is incompatible with ethics because voluntary “moral” actions contradict market rules and drive the moralizing entrepreneur out of the game. For a long time, then, business ethics rang like hollow metal because the economy was held to work on efficiency and not on morality. The market’s inner logic should free us precisely from the necessity of having to depend on the morality of its participants. The true play of market laws best guarantees progress and even distributive justice.”

 

“Distributive justice”?? The Pope advocates Socialism, not a free market.

 

This is driven home when he advocates “a centralized economy, where the goal is equal rights for all and proportionate distribution of goods to all.”

 

Again with the socialism. Hey, look at the glowing record of Communist regimes and the huge 20^th Century experiment in socialism. They all went broke, you stupid shit.

 

So, Pope Benny, let’s look at the root of any economic system, human behavior. Say, a person is standing in front of a movie theater, looking at the marquis. What drives that person’s choice of movie he goes to see and thus spends his hard earned cash on?

 

What is his choice based on? What ever type of movie HE likes. Does he consider that all the people that made, distribute and were in anyway involved with the “Sex in the City” movie, have families, and need money for food, clothing, shelter and medical care? Do you ever think about that? Shit no.

 

Neither does He. He ain’t going to see no “Chick Flick”. He likes Sci Fi, action and adventure, sophomoric comedies. He is not about to go see a “Chick Flick”. He chooses “Batman” because HE wants to see “Batman”. It is a totally selfish decision, made without any thought of who may benefit or suffer from his decision.

 

What drives a person’s spending preferences? Concern for others? Shit no. You buy what you want. The free market works best when they give you what you want. Is morality an issue? Yes. A free market cannot exist without a, sort of “moral” underpinning.

 

Does the product do what they say and you expect it will? Is it of a quality you expect and are happy with? Is it priced competitively? Is the product harmful? Is it toxic (is it Chinese?). If it doesn’t meet your requirements, you won’t buy it and in a free market, someone else will fill your demand with what you want.  So, each company knows what standard they have to meet to sell their products.

 

The free market cannot be totally free. There are necessary health and safety standards, that are a pain in the ass and add to the price of a product, but they do protect the public. If they didn’t, by now the Chinese, those masters of quality, would have killed all our infants and pets. Minimal regulation is a must. Even a fee market advocate realizes that greed, unchecked, has the potential to ultimately cause great harm. So some sort of legislated “morality” is necessary. How much is debatable.

 

But “a centralized economy, where the goal is equal rights for all and proportionate distribution of goods to all”? Socialism, which destroys the entrepreneurial drive essential for progress? The basic premise is that if I am going to get the same amount of money as the guy who picks up my garbage, why should I go to engineering school, make the effort to be a doctor or try to start a new business that would be strangled by the government before it had a chance? I wouldn’t. No one would. The economy would stagnate. But it’s clear that socialism is advocated by the Pope and the Catholic Church.

 

But, don’t confuse us with fact. “He was the first to predict the crisis in the global financial system, a “prophecy” dating to a paper he wrote when he was a cardinal, Italian Finance Minister Guilio Tremonti said.”

 

Again, the Catholic Church is so desperate for any tangible evidence that proves its credibility that from this rambling almost incoherent document that deals far more with the idea of Socialism as being superior to a free market, they some how fabricate a “prophesy”.

 

The only thing that remotely talks about economic problems is this statement: “Conversely, it has also become obvious that the decline of such discipline can actually cause the laws of the market to collapse.” Ok, a decline in discipline can cause a free market to collapse. I don’t need God to tell me this.

 

This is not the first crises the free market has been in and it won’t be the last. The Pope wrote this shit ball socialistic article in 1985. We have had several stock market bubbles pop, Japan’s economy collapsed and has been dormant for years. The US has had several recessions and smaller real estate bubbles. Economies ebb and flow. The free market lives on. I don’t need God to reveal that to me either.

 

Funny, the Pope didn’t prophesy the down fall of the Soviet Union and the ultimate failure of the great Socialist experiment.  According to the article, he foresaw the “free market crises” while advocating Socialism and then just a few years later, the greatest Socialist market in history collapses.

 

We are to believe he was really talking about the current situation in his article, 23 years ago, ignoring all the crises weather they were in the free market or the socialistic world, which happened in the interim. Yea, right.

 

To wrap it up, the Catholics manufacture a Prophesy from an article the Pope wrote, 23 years ago, on the merits of Socialism over the free market. What a bunch of fucking morons.

 

No statements in the Pope’s article in any way shape of form can be interpreted as predicting the present economic situation. Hey, if you don’t have anything, make something up.

 

 

 

Church Challenges It’s Married Parishioners To Have Sex 7 Days In A Row.

 

I was alerted to this story by a faithful reader, Don T. Cornholeme, Here’s the Story:

7 Days Of Sex Challenge

Layron Livingston, KLTV, Jacksonville, Florida

7 straight days of sex. That was the challenge Pastor Ed Young issued to all of the married couples at his Grapevine church. Too taboo, or right on time? Whatever your opinion, this conversation and tonight’s story is strictly for adults. KLTV 7’s Layron Livingston sat down with some local pastors to see if the message could make it’s way to your church’s pulpit.

“Everybody’s whining about the economy and about the world….let’s move from whining to whoopee!”

The message caught some members of Fellowship Church by surprise, and its perking the ears of East Texans.

“Between a married man and a married woman…the more, the better.”

Young says the challenge will help couples in his church focus on each other, reclaiming sex for married people.

“I think I’ll try it this evening!”

Reverend Jerome Milton says it’s about time.

“God’s Word has addressed it, we won’t preach it. This challenge sort of stirs all of us up to teach and to preach it, so that people can have a better understanding about it,” said Rev. Milton.

“And if we don’t address this, then I guarantee you, Desperate Housewives will!”

Minister Mark Edge says sex is in the Bible. So why not the church? In fact, he says last week’s sermon was about Christian sexuality.

“God’s Word is certainly not ashamed to talk about this. God’s Word understands. God understands that it is a very important part of our lives….we really should have been talking about this all along,” said Edge.

“I think the concept is awesome,”

Pastor Doug Clark agrees, but says it’s unrealistic to expect struggling relationships to simply get better with a week of sex. He says sex is more than just physical.

“There’s so much about connection, emotion stuff…there’s so much about value that’s being passed back and forth. If a wife doesn’t feel valued, or if a husband doesn’t feel love or respected, hey, there’s some issues that have to be dealt with,” said Clark.

Of course, you have to practice what you preach. Pastor Young says his membership includes him and his wife. They’ve also accepted the challenge.

Here’s the link.

http://www.kltv.com/global/story.asp?s=9366764

It’s about time church began to recognize and promote the importance of sex. The Bible does talk about it and it is one of my favorite past times, so I say go for it. But I think that Pastor Ed while meaning well, may have done more harm than good.

The Pastor leaves a lot of questions unanswered. Like what about gay couples and the unmarried, “undo-ables” in the flock? You know, the old skinny guy, with the wart on his chin whose breath smells like he’s been eating an ass sandwich? What of the frumpy, middle aged divorcee’ with three kids that no one would do on a bet? Or the old horny spinster? Can you have sex in the church balcony during the services without being seen? These are important questions that demand answers.

Actually, since I have no shame or taste, I do have some experience in doing an old horny spinster. I was 17 and I don’t know how old she was. She was borderline do-able, but she was kind enough to get me buzzed on peppermint schnapps first. When we got into bed, she asked me if I would mind if she called me Rupert.

I said I didn’t mind. “Is that the name of you’re late husband?” I asked.

“No” she replied, with a look of confusion, “Why would you think that?

Before I could reply, she was on me like stink on shit. Now, with this type of “woman”, you just have to be prepared for anything. In certain sexual encounters, having false teeth is a plus. However, not if they come out in your mouth, while kissing. For years after that I was obsessively compelled to check the teeth of every woman I dated.

While we were getting it one, she screamed out every name but Rupert. The names I recall were Sam, Orville, Percy, Woodrow, Elroy, Fritz, Mr. President, Nakita and Eleanor.

I was real curious about the last one and meant to ask about it, but I got distracted when she lost her false teeth again and we pulled the bed apart looking for them. She hopped out of bed and went into the bathroom to rinse them. That’s when I got a good look at her naked. It may not have been so bad, but the schnapps was wearing off, so in a moment that can only be described as panic coupled with an intense self loathing, I grabbed my clothes and bolted for the door.

I was constantly reminded about our encounter for a couple of weeks there after, by the smell of Ben-Gay and mothballs that had somehow, in that short time permeated my clothes and body. I threw away the clothes but no amount of showering seemed to diminish the smell. I felt like everywhere I went, when people got a sniff, they were thinking, “Dude did a spinster. What an asshole”.

Fortunately the smell went away before my “cleaning out the attic for my Mom” excuse ran out of steam.

But the real point here is, that Pastor Ed’s admonition to “have sex for 7 days”, may cause more harm than good.

 

Here’s Pastor Ed, giving his sermon and showing the congregation his dick, during the masturbation portion of the program.

Like I said, what about the unmarried and undo-ables? He has to get off this “sex/marriage” thing. I would form a committee and see if you could pair up the losers.

But I bet he created a real problem among the married couples too. Every married guy got a grin on his face, while every married woman was wishing the Pastor would shut the fuck up.

This scenario, no doubt repeated itself in many of the parishioners homes that evening:

“But, Charlotte, honey, you heard what the Pastor said!”

“Delroy, does the Pastor drink beer all afternoon on Sunday watching football in his underwear? I wouldn’t mind it so much if my parents weren’t here. Does the Pastor leave a partially disassembled automatic transmission from a 1971 Chevy on the kitchen table for months? Kind of puts a girl out of the mood”

“But Honey, it’s a classic!”

“Classic, my ass. Does the Pastor use his wife’s good china for skeet shooting?” Says Charlotte, hands on her hips.

“But Honey, you said the whole set was ruined after that cup broke, when I threw it at the dog”

“Do you ever buy me flowers? Do you ever take me out to dinner, and no I don’t count tailgating at a football game as being taken out to dinner. Do you ever say you love me?

Do you do show you care about me with anything a hug, a peck on the cheek or bathing more than once a week?” By now Charlotte’s lower lip is trembling and a tear runs down her cheek.

Delroy, “If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times, why bathe everyday, when you’re only going to get dirty again? And what does love, flowers and going out to dinner have to do with this? The Pastor said we should have sex. You don’t want to displease Jesus, Charlotte”

With that, Charlotte, winds up and with a perfectly executed side arm pitch hits old Delroy square in the forehead with a porcelain gravy boat, the only piece of her good set of china that survived Delroy’s drunken skeet shooting spree.

So there are and will be all kinds of unknown repercussions from Pastor Ed’s sex challenge. I don’t think he really thought this one through.

There will likely be an uptick in emergency room visits as the “Delroys” of the Church require medical attention from all sorts of spouse inflicted wounds and from wart faced guys with their dicks stuck in vacuum cleaners. Domestic violence complaints will go up, as will the sale of wart remover, Ben Gay and batteries.

There is one thing that won’t happen. In the words of Pastor Doug Clark “If a wife doesn’t feel valued, or if a husband doesn’t feel love or respected, hey, there’s some issues that have to be dealt with.” Does Doug actually live in the real world and know any real people?

Love, respect, valued?? This is when religion really fucks up. They pump people’s heads full of this type of shit.

Sex is about draining the lizard and getting a good nights sleep. In the immortal words of Delroy, “And what does love, flowers and going out to dinner have to do with this? The Pastor said we should have sex. You don’t want to displease Jesus, Charlotte”

I’m sure Jesus is shaking his head, wondering as always, why God even bothered to create humans in the first place.

You may think I’m making this up, but I’m pretty sure that my experience with the spinster became an actual episode of Desperate Housewives. Except they changed it a little with Teri Hatcher playing the spinster and Brad Pitt played me. I could tell that it was adapted from my story, as they had a neighbor, Ben, who was gay.

I know for sure that an episode of CSI Miami was an adaptation of my spinster story. They evidence that hung the guy was the moth ball and Ben Gay residue in his underwear.

“I guess you could say we got him by the balls…” says Horatio, dramatically putting on his sun glasses”….moth balls!”

Mark Cummins, The Pastor of The First Baptist Church in Ocala, Florida Quits.

From the Ocala Star Banner, November 27, 2008:

Embattled minister quits post

http://www.ocala.com/article/20081127/ARTICLES/811271001

For more background, read my post “A Big Baptist Brawl in Florida!!!” on November 11th. But basically what happened is discontent with the new minister, Mark Cummins, erupted into a brawl and a shouting match during Sunday services on November 9th. I describe the scene in my Nov 11th post. It was not pretty.

As usual, in any controversy, no one has a clear picture of what happened, why or when. I think the “who” part is pretty clear. Pastor Mark got 6 associate Pastors fired and now, after stirring up all that shit is going to quit anyway….or is he??

This whole thing has split the church, which is no stranger to controversy as it recently split several years ago either over if “dwarf tossing ” was Christian or if they should rebuild their burned down church on the same property or buy a new, bigger piece of land and build a new and bigger church. I forget which but I think it was “where to build the new church” thing.

I think they still allow dwarf tossing, but just not in church. Bible scholars disagree on weather or not Jesus condoned or actually participated in dwarf tossing, but there is some compelling evidence he not only condoned it, but practiced it.

In Matthew 21:12 it says “Then Jesus went into the temple, threw out everyone who was selling and buying in the temple, and overturned the moneychangers’ tables and the chairs of those who sold doves.”

There were no doubt a number of dwarves that were “thrown” out by Jesus. Some Bible translations render the word here translated as “chairs” as “booster seat” and since children were not allowed in the temple, the logical conclusion would be that a number of the “thrown” out money changers were indeed short or dwarves.

There are other Bible accounts of “Dwarves” and Jesus. In Luke, Chapter 19:1 thru 4 it mentions one:

“And he entered and was passing through Jericho. And behold, a man called by name Zacchaeus; and he was a chief publican, and he was rich. And he sought to see Jesus who he was; and could not for the crowd, because he was little of stature (dwarf). And he ran on before, and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way.

The account shows how Jesus stayed at his house that night and after a few hits of sacramental wine, he and the Apostles tossed old Zacchaeus around until they all passed out.

So, while there is ample Biblical and historical evidence that “dwarf tossing” was indeed a practice of the early Christians and promoted by Christ himself, some modern day “Christians” think its wrong. These muddled brain, dip shits attempt to stop others from the legitimate practice of causing humiliation and pain to the weaker among us. Assholes.

But, hey Christians ignore other obvious Biblical facts. For example, a lot of “Christians” say it’s wrong to drink alcohol, even though Jesus himself is said in the Bible to have turned water into wine. Clearly, Jesus didn’t object to drinking alcohol.

“Oh, he didn’t make wine with alcohol. He made sweet wine, which is grape juice!” some namby-pamby, limp wristed Christian pussys will say, to which I reply, bullshit. Jesus was evidently a cool partier, who knew the difference between grape juice and wine. Some scholars say that the “wine” Jesus made was actually beer.

But when the candy ass, girly men, known collectively as the French got their turn at translating the Bible, they changed the beer to wine. Actually beer and wine are similar in that they are fermented plant stuff, beer being grain and “hops” (whatever the hell they are, but thank God for them) and wine being grapes.

So, the girly men, candy ass, French pussys changed “beer” to “wine” forever perverting Jesus words and giving us a whole different view of the Savior, from a beer drinking manly man to an effeminate, wine sipping, Brea nibbling, loving, kind, nice guy. Even faced with the account of JC kicking ass in the temple, throwing dwarves and all out on there ear, the Fench refused to change wine to beer.

Does kicking ass in the Temple sound like a wine drinker to you? So, afterwards, Jesus and the Apostles celebrated the temple ass whipping by hoisting a few Cabernet Sauvignons? Not hardly!

The sissy French also tried to change the Bible account that speaks of “manna” from heaven to “soufflés” from heaven but their plot was thwarted by the English, namely King James who told them to fuck off and wrote his own Bible, with absolutely no mention of “soufflés”. However, it is to be noted that he didn’t have the balls to change the wine thing back to the original “beer”. Asshole.

But, “what does this have to do with Pastor Mark and the First Baptist Church of Ocala, Florida” you might ask? Actually, nothing, but I never miss the opportunity to write about beer or piss on the French.

So, Mark is out…..or so it would seem. My sources tell me that the crafty old Marine has got a surprise for those dickheads who oppose him. A Marine doesn’t quit. It’s clearly a diversion.

Rumor has it that Mark has formed his loyalists into an elite fighting unit and is planning a frontal assault on the church, timed for exactly 20 minutes after the Sunday sermon begins, right when everyone is usually asleep.

He has been drilling them and drilling them hard in his secret base in the Ocala National Forest. There are numerous reports of gunfire, explosions and the hauntingly sound of hymns, late at night in one of the unexplored areas of the Forest.

Also, an assortment of people have been showing up at local hospitals with injuries that can only be explained by “intense military training”. Several elderly women have been admitted with injuries consistent with parachute jumping, although each insisted that there wounds were “knitting related”.

One old gentleman had swallowed his false teeth, which he claimed was caused by him being startled awake during an episode of “Dancing with the Stars”. However, doctors thought his condition was more consistent with hanging your head out the widow of a moving Humvee and smacking into a tree.

There was also a guy brought in with a bayonet stuck in his left ass cheek, but it was later determined that his wife did it when she found out he ate the last of the Cheeze Wiz.

These rumors have been taken seriously by the remaining Church members and they have erected barriers, dug tank traps and could be seen this week, fortifying their defensive positions.

When someone approached and asked what was going on,a stern looking guy in a green ball cap and mirrored sunglasses replied “landscaping”.

“That doesn’t look like landscaping to me” the curious passer by said, where upon he was tossed off the property and he wasn’t even a dwarf!

Something tells me that the conflict is not over between the Ocala Baptists and Pastor Mark. The situation is so serious that Dr. John Sullivan, a widely respected leader of the Florida Baptist Convention has agreed to mediate the dispute. Even with the threat of imminent military conflict, Sullivan still intends to visit the church on Sunday as planned.

Dr. Sullivan was unsuccessful in his last attempt to mediate differences between two Baptist Churches. You may recall the conflict in South Florida between The Hollywood First Baptist Church and the Gay Redeemer Baptist, of South Beach in Miami. The two congregations were at odds over the admission of gays to the Ministry and the disagreement erupted in to violence.

The Hollywood Baptists, en mass charged into the Gay Redeemer Church during services one Sunday, brandishing paint sprayers and spray painted everything and everyone pink.

A sobbing Pastor Hugh Jass, Pastor of GRB had to be taken to the hospital and sedated.

After the melee the membership decided that they liked everything pink, so they left it. Frustrated at their failed attempt to run the queer bastards out of town, the members of HFBC took a different tack and bought up the entire supply of Barbara Streisand, Village People and Queen CD’s in the area.

Unable to withstand what he called mean spirited, unchristian, cultural guerrilla warfare”, Pastor Jass and the other fags disbanded GRD. The guys at the HFBC celebrated by building a big bon fire and burning all that nauseating Streisand shit. They also reportedly tossed a few dwarves around.

“I swear” said one participant “you could see the image of Streisand, with horns screaming at us in the flames”

The situation in Ocala remains serious and many questions remain: Will Dr. Sullivan be able to stop full scale military action? Will Pastor Mark, the hard nose jarhead be able to whip his followers into an elite fighting force? Why didn’t the South Beach queers join the Methodists in the first place? They love fags.

Tense times in a tense little town in Florida.

Has God Determined That You Are Already Dead?

From Genesis, Chapter 6, vs. 13 thru 22, American Standard Version:

“And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth. ^6:14Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch. ^6:15And this is how thou shalt make it: the length of the ark three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits. ^6:16A light shalt thou make to the ark, and to a cubit shalt thou finish it upward; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it. ^6:17And I, behold, I do bring the flood of waters upon this earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; everything that is in the earth shall die. ^6:18But I will establish my covenant with thee; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee. ^6:19And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female. ^6:20Of the birds after their kind and of the cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the ground after its kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive. ^6:21And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them. ^6:22Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.”

We all know the story of Noah and the Ark. God caused a great flood to occur, killing every one on earth while only Noah and his family survived, with two of every animal, seven of certain animals.

Interestingly, the Jehovah’s Witness rag, The Watchtower, 4/15/05, page 4 says this of Noah:

 ”According to the Bible, the Creator will soon transform the earth into a literal paradise, which will favor long life. Bringing about that Paradise will involve drastic action, similar to that of the Flood of Noah’s day. Matthew chapter 24, verses 37 to 39, shows that Jesus compared our time with “the days of Noah,” in which people “took no note” of their critical situation. They also ignored the message that Noah preached. Then came “the day that Noah entered into the ark” and the Flood destroyed all who had rejected this knowledge. Noah and those with him in the ark remained alive.”

 The Witnesses directly contradict the above Watchtower in another Witness publication, “Insight on the Scriptures” as regards Noah preaching:

The “Insight on the Scriptures” Vol 2, page 674 quotes Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words says: “In I Pet. 3:19 the probable reference is, not to glad tidings (which there is no real evidence that Noah preached, nor is there evidence that the spirits of antediluvian people are actually ‘in prison’), but to the act of Christ after His resurrection in proclaiming His victory to fallen angelic spirits.” (1981, Vol. 3, p. 201)”

So did Noah preach a warning of the flood or not? Who knows? The Jo Ho’s say yes and no. As a side point you may wonder why I bring this up at all. Well, since Jehovah’s Witnesses the only organization on earth that understands the “deep things of God”, they shouldn’t publish contradictory views:

Watchtower 7/1/73, pg 402

Consider, too, the fact that Jehovah’s organization alone, in all the earth, is directed by God’s holy spirit or active force. (Zech. 4:6) Only this organization functions for Jehovah’s purpose and to his praise. To it alone God’s Sacred Word, the Bible, is not a sealed book. Many persons of the world are very intelligent, capable of understanding complex matters. They can read the Holy Scriptures, but they cannot understand their deep meaning. Yet God’s people can comprehend such spiritual things. Why? Not because of special intelligence on their part, but as the apostle Paul declared: “For it is to us God has revealed them through his spirit, for the spirit searches into all things, even the deep things of God.” (1 Cor. 2:10) Jesus Christ praised his heavenly Father for ‘hiding such things from the wise and intellectual ones but revealing them to babes.’ (Matt. 11:25) How very much true Christians appreciate associating with the only organization on earth that understands the “deep things of God”!

Sorry. I’m just “poking the Jo Ho’s” It’s my hobby. Hey, everyone needs a hobby.

The point here is that, early on, God gave Noah specific instructions on how to build the ark, how big it would be and what provisions to take on board.

God had already decided that only Noah and his family would survive the flood, and no on else. The plans he gave Noah had no room for anyone else. It’s likely that it took years to build the ark and yet the Bible indicates that Noah did not preach about the coming doom. Notwithstanding that the Witnesses say “Noah preached”, it would seem logical that of the thousands of people alive, surely some would noticed Noah building the Ark, asked him about it and wanted to join him.

The point, however is moot. God had already decided on the Arks dimensions, and thus it’s capacity to carry passengers. God had predestined the people of Noah’s day to die. He made no room for them on the Ark.

Sorry, no room for you. We only have so many suites. All booked.

So what was the point of the whole flood thing? Kill all the evil people and start over? Just kill them. Why the cataclysmic earth wide flood? By simple reasoning, by the fact that the Bible says only eight people survived and were in the ark and that God’s original blueprints called for the accommodation of just eight “souls” God already knew the outcome.

This raises the obvious question, “Has God already decided who will go to heaven/live forever/whatever?”

He obviously did in Noah’s day.

Jehovah’s Witnesses and All Things Pagan.

 

It’s December, 2008 and it’s “that time of year”. Yes, it’s the Christmas season and time for the Jo Ho’s (Jehovah’s Witnesses) to begin the annual yada yada about “Christmas is pagan in Origin” and “Jesus wasn’t even born in December”. The simple response is “shut your fucking pie holes, who gives a shit!!”, but, other “Christians” get in the act and the Holiday Tradition begins anew as deranged Bible thumpers on many sides of this issue go back and forth about the birthday of a Jesus. They hurl scriptures at each other like so many holy hand grenades, all the while oblivious to the fact that there is no historical evidence Jesus was ever born.

So begins another big fight over when their imaginary friend was born, what he really meant when He wrote “My Big Book of Unsolvable and Improbable Cosmic Riddles”, aka, the Bible and who he likes best.

Being raised a Jo Ho, I didn’t celebrate Christmas until I was 50 and now I do only because my current wife does. I have no history with the holiday and do not believe in Jesus, so it has no significance for me. The truth be known, it’s a pain in the ass. Business stops from approx. Dec 15^th and resumes around Jan 5^th. Most none retail businesses anyway. But the bills don’t stop. So thank you, pagan assholes for giving us this special time of year, which causes financial pain, family feuds and physical pain in muscles you never knew you had, due to putting up all those damn decorations. Oh, and you have to take them down in January. 

It’s interesting to watch the Jo Ho’s get all paranoid and worked up about “things of pagan origin”. Now, they are factually correct. Most of the Christmas customs can be traced to either pagan customs or to religions the Jo Ho’s disagree with, which would be all other religions, but theirs.

However, if you dig deep enough, many customs and traditions that are common place today originated in pagan worship or were adopted by pagans.

For example, wedding and engagement rings. Some scholars believe it was originally an ancient Egyptian tradition symbolizing the eternal life. Today the circle is sacred to many people, representing that which has no beginning or end, except in case of divorce. To me and many others, it represents perpetual alimony.

It is actually said at Jo Ho weddings that the ring has no beginning and no end symbolizing something, what I don’t know, as the marriage bond terminates in death, according to the Jo Ho’s. But it is definitely pagan in origin.

The wedding ring cannot be found in the Old or New Testaments. There was no practice among early Christians to wear finger rings as a sign of marriage or an engagement.  Pope Gregory 1, aka “The Jeweler”, in 860AD decreed that as a required statement of nuptial intent, the groom to be had to give his intended an engagement ring. He further decreed the ring be of gold to signify financial sacrifice. And if you were a good Catholic and bought from his store, you got 10% off. Oh, and if you didn’t buy a ring and/or were a bad Catholic, he had you killed. The guy was a marketing genius! 

Opps! Jo Ho’s do what Pope Gregory decreed!! They buy engagement and wedding rings! A decree from the leader of a religion that isn’t them!! “Pagan origin, false religion…”

The ancient pagan Romans also the used engagement and wedding rings. Originally the ring was placed on the third finger of the left hand because of a superstitious belief that a vein from this finger runs directly to the heart. Wedding rings are still placed on the third finger of the left hand by the majority of wearers. 

The early Methodists in America, followed the teachings of John Wesley that wedding rings were pagan and should not be worn. Mennonites, early Baptist in America, The original Seventh Day Adventists, most of the holiness movements, including the more devout Apostolic Pentecostals rejected wedding rings as pagan. There was a time in America when the majority of Christians did not wear jewelry of any kind including earrings and wedding rings, until a lot of Pastors bought jewelry stores and than it was OK with God.

Cutting the cake together is also a potent symbolic act. As a form of the Great Rite (I don’t exactly know what that is, but it’s something really pagan), the cake represents the feminine traits of nurturing and life-giving while the knife symbolizes the male phallus or as it is commonly known, dick, pee pee, love pistol, wedding tackle, tally-whacker, twigs and berries, meat and two veg, trouser trout, love muscle, heat seeking moisture missle and my personal favorite, the moan inducing love rocket. The pagans thought that this practice boosts the fertility wishes and solidifies the joining together of male and female energies. 

They used a knife as a symbol of a dick. Dicks as a rule are not very sharp, thus while they have many uses, the average dick is not suitable for cutting a cake.  Although I do remember an incident involving cake frosting, licking and my dick, I wouldn’t want to try cutting a cake with it. Also, eating a cake that was cut by someone’s dick tends to put a damper on the joy of the occasion.

The wedding veil is also pagan in origin and was adopted by many cultures who each gave it some religious and/or Pagan significance. Although not directly involving dicks, the origin of the veil is no doubt repulsive and to the Jo Hos. 

Bon fires also have a pagan Druidic origin. Bon fires, originally “bone” fires, were used in their pagan ceremonies but did not directly involve dicks. 

Most of the names of the Months and Day are pagan in origin, for example January is taken from the Roman God Janus. Have you ever noticed that a lot of the statues of Roman gods are naked, showing their dicks?

So while Jo Ho’s and others decry you Pagan, counterfeit Christians for celebrating a Christmas, a holiday with pagan roots they themselves continue many pagan traditions. 

I can tell you that as a Jehovah’s Witness at Jo Ho weddings, I have personally seen and participated in buying engagement and wedding rings and placing them on the fourth finger of the left hand, cutting the wedding cake together and brides wearing veils. I might add that these events always ended badly for me, but that’s another story. 

Also, at Jo Ho gatherings there were bon fires and I frequently used the names of the Days and Months, a practice I continue to this day. 

There are many questions that demand answers! When does all this “Pagan origin” stuff stop? Why do Jehovah’s Witnesses and others avoid, some customs of Pagan origin and embrace others? If the cutting of the wedding cake and what it symbolizes is pagan to the extreme, with sexual overtones, why don’t Jo Ho’s stop doing that?? What other pagan customs involve dicks? 

Did you know Jo Ho’s do not toast, i.e. hold a glass of something up and clink everyone else’s glass in honor of someone or something? Why? 

Jo Hos: “It’s pagan! It’s Ok to cut a cake with a dick, but we will not emulate pagans and clink glasses!! 

Funny, at one Witness wedding, the head Elder, in front of about 200 people stood and proposed a toast with a glass of wine to the bride and groom. His wife had to pull him back down and tell him “we don’t do that” 

Watchtower 1/1/68. pg 31-32:

But is that all there is to “toasting”? Why do the toasters raise their glasses, or lift their mugs and clink them together? Is it in imitation of some custom? Note what The Encyclopædia Britannica, 11th Ed., Volume 13, page 121, says: 

“The custom of drinking ‘health’ to the living is most probably derived from the ancient religious rite of drinking to the gods and the dead. The Greeks and Romans at meals poured out libations to their gods, and at ceremonial banquets drank to them and to the dead.” Then, after showing how such pagan customs survived among Scandinavian and Teutonic peoples, this reference work adds: “Intimately associated with these quasi-sacrificial drinking customs must have been the drinking to the health of living men.” 

“When most people join in a “toast” they probably do not imagine that they might be copying the custom of lifting up a libation or liquid sacrifice to pagan gods, yet that could be so. Without question, a faithful Christian would not share in an actual pagan sacrifice, realizing that “you cannot be drinking the cup of Jehovah and the cup of demons.” (1 Cor. 10:21) A mature Christian would also avoid even imitating false religious rituals. This spiritually mature course would please Jehovah. Remember, God specifically warned the Israelites against copying religious practices of the pagan nations round about them.-Lev. 19:27; 21:5.” 

“If a Christian is going to make a request for divine blessing on another, then an appropriate way to do that is through heartfelt prayer to God, not by following traditions based on pagan worship that Jehovah abhors.” 

No, but he’ll cut a wedding cake with a knife symbolizes the male tally whacker! 

How many Jo Ho’s or other “Christians” would cut a wedding cake with a knife that symbolizes a dick? Hell, they do it all the time. Why? “When most people join in a “toast” they probably do not imagine that they might be copying the custom of lifting up a libation or liquid sacrifice to pagan gods, yet that could be so.” Same with the dick/knife thing, you boneheaded assholes!

People do not know, as the pagan symbolism has long ago been forgotten. Where do you draw the line as to what modern customs with their roots in paganism offend God and which do not? I would think the dick thing is a way bigger sin than the toast thing, but what do I know? 

Shit, I think the Jo Ho’s should cut a wedding cake on Christmas with a male phallus, while hoisting a beer in honor of all things phallic.

Does the general public know that many of the Christmas customs are pagan in origin? If they do it’s only because the Jo Ho’s pound on your door, unceasingly and tell you that among other loony stuff.

If the Witnesses are so all fired up about displeasing God by celebrating a holiday with pagan roots, than STOP DOING ALL THINGS WITH PAGAN ROOTS.

OK, Jesus wasn’t born on Dec 25th. So what! The shepherds were likely indoors hoisting a few, celebrating their dicks, while wearing wedding rings on the 4th finger of the left hand

The inescapable fact is that people normally do not associate Christmas with paganism. So, what is the big deal? And why don’t Jo Ho’s simply shut up about it?

A point to ponder. Jehovah’s Witness do not celebrate birthdays because both times when a birthday is celebrated in the Bible someone righteous gets killed. I forget her name and I’m not going to look it up, but one of the incidents was where this girl danced so good at the Kings Birthday party He promised her anything she wanted. At the urging of her mother, she asked for John the Baptist’s head on a plate.

I would have gone for the veal parmesan, but it was her choice

Another reason Jo Ho’s don’t celebrate birthdays is that Jesus said that the day of ones death was better than the day of ones birth, which I totally disagree with. Death has a way of screwing up your weekend. 

Unlike when your born and you get to lay around all the time, complain loudly at the slightest irritation, eat and poop. It’s like retirement.  Than in puberty, you discover your dick and quickly learn that it has other uses than cutting cakes. You get married, have kids, who as they go through the stages of growth, screw up you life in ways you can’t imagine, wrecking financial havoc on you every inch of the way. Than they discover their dicks. Which is cool for the boy kids, but when the girl kids discover the dicks of other boy kid’s, that’s when the trouble really starts. 

And the whole situation, your life deteriorates from there. Then you die and turn to poop. And they usually dress you up in a good suit, which you turn to poop in. Mmmm, maybe Jesus was right after all.

Back to the point. The Bible does not specifically forbid the celebration of birthdays. Also a lot of things happened when good guys got killed in the Bible. I mean, they were eating and dancing at John the Baptist’s demise. Using Jo Ho logic, you should quit eating and dancing.

They were probably doing things with dicks,  too.

But the Jo Ho’s basically pull the Birthday thing out of their asses and the imagined inference morph’s into “God does not want us to celebrate birthdays.” The birthday thing, at best is a stretch and again using Jo Ho reasoning, the cake/dick thing should be easy to see as a pagan practice to be abhorred. But, every Saturday, around the world hundreds or even thousands of Jo Ho couples get married, after buying engagement and wedding rings, than placing them each others fourth finger of the left hand, cutting the wedding cake together, with the dick-knife, all the while with the brides wearing veils.
Did you know Jo Ho’s don’t eat blood? But they are allowed to eat meat. That red stuff moving around in the package of steak at the supermarket ain’t tapioca. It is not possible to get all the blood out of meat, not matter how well you drain it. So, don’t eat meat.  But they do. “Those are the meat juices”, my mother would say.

Yea, and that was a cake knife you caught me playing with in the shower.

Consistency would go along way toward helping  Jo Ho credibility.

Some Logic and Reason that Explains the Actions and Unreasonable Beliefs of Religious Assholes

This is a very interesting article from USA Today that brings out some good points concerning the “end times” beliefs of many religious boneheads.

http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2008/12/the-end-as-a-we.html

‘The end’ as a weapon

Some environmentalists have their own fixation with the apocalypse – just not the biblical one. This involves the wrath of nature and the ecological end times. But  fear is an ineffective tool for any cause.

By Tom Krattenmaker

There is, in progressive circles, a certain fascination with those apocalyptic prophecies that seem to hold so many religious conservatives in thrall. From the sensation over the megaselling Left Behind book series to more recent media flare-ups around figures such as John Hagee (the television pastor of countdown-to-Armageddon fame), the end times seem to be looming at all times.

(Web Bryant / USA TODAY)

Turn your attention to a strain of thought ascendant in secular, environmentalist America and you might be surprised to find a similar apocalypse fixation, minus the Book of Revelation and anti-Christ parts. Call it the secular theology of environmental collapse – the fearful conviction that the hopelessly corrupt world as we know it has entered its death throes, with massive destruction stalking ever nearer.

Given the huge challenges facing this country and the constant barrage of “be afraid!” messages from politics and pulpits, it’s understandable that many of us have a close relationship with dread.

Yet we should remain wary of doomsday fantasizing, in either its religious or secular form. For history shows that such thinking, whether it revolves around the wrath of God or the rage of nature, has a way of embarrassing the doomsayers – and, more important, hampering much needed progress along the way.

Like many Americans, I’ve always been fascinated by the scary prophecies. (I do mean “many”; according to a 2004 Newsweek poll, 55%of Americans believe in the rapture, in which true Christian believers are swept up by God, with everyone else “left behind” to endure civilization’s trial, tribulation and destruction before Jesus returns to usher in a new and godly age.) I read Hal Lindsey’s The Late Great Planet Earth in my teens, Nostradamus’ spooky visions in college and ecological meltdown scenarios in adulthood. “Let’s wipe it all out and start again!” holds a certain appeal when the present state of affairs is looking irredeemably bad. Especially to the beholders who believe they’ll be among the “saved,” whether through divine intervention or, at least, by being on the right side of the argument.

More and more, I’m seeing the error of these ways, thanks mainly to my exposure to some of the new-wave thinkers in environmentalism and the related sustainability movement.

Two such people are Ted Nordhaus and Michael Shellenberger, whose widely circulated “death of environmentalism“arguments have shaken up the green establishment. They call for an end to the old disaster-is-coming talk in favor of a positive, solutions-oriented approach to the climate challenge.

Another is Jim Proctor, head of environmental studies at Lewis & Clark (the college where I work in Portland, Ore.). Proctor is also a teacher and researcher with academic training in religion as well as environmental studies. Through many intense conversations with Proctor, I’ve begun to suspect that secular liberals who joke about right-wing Christians’ doomsday scenarios fall for some of the same unproductive thinking and believing.

The ecopocalypse

Waiting for the rapture has its secular analog in a phenomenon you might term “dystopian dread”: a growing sense of imminent ecological collapse – the ecopocalypse, if you will. Particularly ascendant here in the lush green and relatively unchurched Pacific Northwest, the narrative offers a form of secular theology that resembles aspects of the Left Behind scenarios. Instead of God, nature unleashes its wrath on “sinful” humanity; instead of the savior’s second coming, ecotheology awaits a green utopia in which electric cars, locally grown organic food and post-consumer-culture sustainability rise in the ashes of disaster.

Proctor and a research team are exploring the phenomenon through interviews with members of utopian communities in Oregon and surveys of the general population. The preliminary polling results point in an intriguing direction. Secular Americans who regard nature as inherently sacred (a cohort that could include 20% of the population or more) identify strongly with concepts of an environmentalist utopia. And those who yearn for green perfection often struggle with expectations of its dark-side twin: “dystopian” doom.

“You find that people working for a utopian future have tremendous fear about things turning out differently,” Proctor explains. “Utopias are often framed against a dystopian nightmare,” he adds, producing a kind of all-or-nothing fixation on perfection and its perfect opposite.

Reality, in truth, is usually grayer and messier. Wind turbines, for instance, can certainly mar pristine views and wildlife habitat, and concerns of precisely that sort have been raised against wind-power farms in the Mojave Desert and elsewhere. Is the regrettable blemish a worthwhile price to pay to advance green energy?

As the dilemma suggests, maybe we should spend less time and angst on utopias and doomsdays and focus on the less dramatic question: Short of perfect, how do we make things simply better?

In certain conservative Christian circles, the rapture is viewed with something approaching gleeful excitement. As one devotee told CBS in a 2004 report on evangelical America, “I think (the rapture) would be really cool.”

I suppose – if you find something “cool” about untold millions stranded on a doomed earth and left to endure hellish suffering and death on an unprecedented scale.

Those sounding the alarm about ecological end times might not share the happy anticipation of the above-mentioned rapture diviner, but they might have more in common with his lot than they realize: the conviction, in particular, that civilization is hopelessly fallen and deserves whatever doom might be coming our way.

What this moment requires, instead, is acknowledgment of the inevitable uncertainty about where all this is heading, and clear thinking about what’s going to be effective in dealing with it.

Damaging the cause

If history has taught us anything, Jim Proctor notes, it’s the prevalence, and folly, of end-of-the-world predictions. “How many times,” Proctor asks, “have religious figures and others prophesized the end – and then had to revise their predictions when it didn’t happen? And how much less did people listen to them and believe them after that?”

Though fear might seem a good rally-the-masses motivator, it can actually operate in the opposite way, by making the general public cynical and disengaged on one hand, or overwhelmed by fear and fatalism on the other.

Yes, there is plenty to fear these days, and stoking that fear in the quest for supporters, donations and votes is the popular politics of our time.

As he assumes the presidency, Barack Obama would do well to reprise the line of a transformative president from the past century who urged calm and confidence through tough times. As Franklin D. Roosevelt wisely declared, fear itself is what we ought to fear the most. As Roosevelt evidently knew, fear has an uncanny ability to stymie progress.

And, worse yet, to turn its dark visions into self-fulfilling prophecies.

Tom Krattenmaker, who lives in Portland, Ore., specializes in religion in public life and is a member of USA TODAY’s board of contributors. His book on Christianity in professional sports will be published in the spring.

More Nonsense from Christian Assholes

Woman says Church

Threatening

to make Sins Public

http://www.news4jax.com/news/18286355/detail.html#-

POSTED: Monday, December 15 2008

 JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — A divorced Jacksonville woman said her former church has threatened to “go public with her sins” and tell the congregation about her sexual relationship with her new boyfriend. 

Rebecca Hancock said harassment from Grace Community Church in Mandarin over her sex life caused her to leave, but she said that didn’t put an end to the problem. She said she received a letter from the church’s elders telling her the church plans to make her personal life very public. 

“I’m basically run out. I’m the church harlot,” Hancock said. 

The 49-year-old said she has been dating a man for a while and she said members of the congregation at Grace Community Church haven’t been happy about the relationship. 

“Because I have a boyfriend that I’m involved with … to not be married to that person is a sin,” Hancock said. 

She said the issue caused her to leave the church. However, she said the church has not let go of her. 

The letter Hancock received from the church states that because she has refused to end her sexual relationship with her boyfriend, “you leave us with no other choice but to carry out the commands of the Lord Jesus Christ” … “In accordance with Matthew 18:17 we intend to ‘tell it to the church.’” 

“On January 4, my sins will be told to the church, publicly, with my children sitting in the church and my friends,” Hancock said. 

The pastor of Grace Community Church, Dr. T. Scott Christmas, told Channel 4 he had no comment. 

Pastors with whom Channel 4 spoke on Monday said announcing a sin to a congregation is not abnormal. They said it’s written in the Bible to punish sinners who continue to sin. 

The difference in Hancock’s case is that she has left the church, and the pastors said that’s is usually where punishment ends. 

Despite the church’s letter stating its biblical backing, Hancock said she has backed out of the church and they should leave her alone because she is no longer a member. 

“I am a Christian, and that will never change. My relationship with Jesus has to do with me and Jesus, and he knows my heart,” Hancock said. 

The book of Matthew does have three steps that the church talked about in taking action against a member who is in sin. 

Hancock said she is now attending a different church, and said she is planning to send a letter to Grace Community Church to make sure it’s understood that she no longer a member.

______________________________________________________

First, on behalf of Rebecca Hancock and my loyal readers, I would like to say to the Grace Community Church in Mandarin, Florida: Go fuck your collective selves, you pompous religious, hypocritical, cock sucking, busy body pieces of donkey shit.  

How many of you “holier then thou” churchies are right now fucking your secretary, lawn guy or molesting the 9 year old next door?

That being said, the real question is exactly how hot is Ms. Hancock and will they be publishing naked pictures of her? If they’re going to accuse her of fucking around, they need some real proof, like pictures or better yet, videos.

Exactly how does this work? How does anyone know for sure Becky is doing the nasty with her, here to fore unnamed male (or female) accomplice?

I would guess that they have no real “proof”, except circumstantial proof, like his car was parked at her house overnight, they have been seen in each others company around town etc., except for the fact that the stupid bitch broadcasts it, literally. She tells the TV news:

“I’m basically run out. I’m the church harlot,” Hancock said.

The 49-year-old said she has been dating a man for a while and she said members of the congregation at Grace Community Church haven’t been happy about the relationship.

“Because I have a boyfriend that I’m involved with … to not be married to that person is a sin,” Hancock said.

Good move, dumb ass. You basically admit it. What you should have said is “Mind your own fucking business”, when asked if you were fornicatin’.  But, noooo you tell the TV Station “I’m the church harlot”. You are a dumb ass. If you don’t want anyone to know, simply shut the hell up

Still, dumb ass blah blahs to the news about fucking some guy and worries about her kids hearing this in church.  So, I guess the kids don’t watch TV or talk to their friends, who I’m sure by now know all the sordid details.

But the long and the short of it is the church needs to mind their own fucking business. If Ms. Hancock wants to fuck a German Sheppard that’s her damn business. If the Church makes public “her fornicatin’, I would guess Becky will have a hell of a liable suit.

Curiously, if you are named Smith, your name originated from the occupation of your ancestors. The same with the last names Carpenter, Mason and Goatfucker, the later being a little know name common only in remote parts of Eastern Europe.  You don’t know many Goatfuckers because when any Goatfuckers got off the boat at Ellis Island, their names were Kennedy, Nixon or Obama.

So if your ancestral name is derived from your ancestor’s occupation, than what did Ms. Hancock’s ancestors do? Were their hands shaped like cocks? Did they run hand job parlors all over medieval countries whose names now end in -vokia or -stan? But more importantly, has Becky inherited the ancient methods and will they publish her phone number?

This brings up genealogical questions for anyone with “cock”, “dick” or “gay” in their last names. My Mothers ancestors came from Eastern Europe and when they hit Ellis Island the original name was Pladclitvagicockuszzcuntforudijga. This literally means “the goats are dying because of those goat fuckers”.  They immigration guys changed it to Rosenstein.

My last bit of advice is for Becky to capitalize on this and first sue the church and second, put up an internet site with her and “Mr. Here to fore unknown”, fucking in any manner and in as many places as they can. Hey, Beck, remember there is big money in hand jobs.

Faith and Mickey Mouse

From Reuters, December 19, 1996:

“Hundreds flock to Virgin apparition on office tower”

CLEARWATER, Florida (Reuter) – Hundreds of people converged on Clearwater Wednesday to see what they believe is a vision of the Virgin Mary on an office building.

“God is giving us a sign,” said Sister Martin, a nun of the Order of Saint Anne in Bangalore, India.

“The image, two floors high, first emerged last Thursday on the tinted windows of a finance company office. It glows and shimmers, turning from green to blue, to red, and there is a distinct outline of a head, a hooded robe and most of a torso.”

“Skeptics say it is caused by the sun reflecting off water left by sprinklers. But others believe it is a true miracle.”

“God is telling us it is time to change our ways,” said Sister Christian of the same order. “(It) looks exactly like all the paintings of the Blessed Mother

And we also have this from CBS News, April 20, 2005:

“Faithful See Image Of Virgin Mary “

“Stain On Wall Of Chicago Underpass Believed To Be Image Of Mary”

CHICAGO, April 20, 2005

“A steady stream of the faithful and the curious, many carrying flowers and candles, have flocked to an expressway underpass for a view of a yellow and white stain on a concrete wall that some believe is an image of the Virgin Mary”.

“Police have patrolled the emergency turnoff area under the Kennedy Expressway since Monday as hundreds of people have walked down to see the image and the growing memorial of flowers and candles that surround it. Beside the image is an artist’s rendering of the Virgin Mary embracing Pope John Paul II in a pose some see echoed in the stain.”

“We believe it’s a miracle,” said Elbia Tello, 42. “We have faith, and we can see her face.”

So are we to believe that God is communicating with us via stains on a window and a concrete wall? The belief in the Virgin Mary is basically a Catholic belief, so is this validating Catholicism? If so, than is this saying all other Religions are false? After all, Pope Benedict XVI reasserted the universal primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document that says Orthodox churches were defective and that other Christian denominations were not true churches. I guess all you Baptist, Protestants, Jehovah’s Witnesses and other Christians got your collective faiths trumped by a stain. Somehow, I find that fitting.

This whole fiasco reminds me of when you were a kid and you laid down on the lawn and stared at the cloud. After a while they would take on the form of a ship, a dog, whatever you could imagine. Aside from the fact that there is no proof that Mary even existed, there is no doubt that the images in question look like renderings of the Virgin Mary. Since we have no photos of Mary, we only have artist’s conceptions of what she might have looked like, so the best we can say is that they resemble an artist conception. It’s a safe bet that if you looked at stains on windows and concrete all day you could find numerous images of people and things.

Random coincidental images that appear to look like an artist conception is really thin. But the really sad part is the reaction from thousands of people. These incidents illustrates several pertinent facts.

First, people will believe really unreasonable stuff, particularly if it supports their already existing faith. In the Bible, God spoke directly to many people. He supposedly perfomed or caused to be performed many miracles, witnessed by thousands. So now he has reduced his communication to stains on walls and windows?

When were we notified that he changed his methods? Oh yea, in the Bible, when it says that the real cool, very convincing miracles would cease. That’s real convenient.The Bible writers relate these fabulous, supernatural events, witnessed by thousands and we get stains. Why? Because there is not a shread of evidence that the events in the Bible actually happened. Perhaps there was a stain on a rock that looked like the Red Sea parting and someone ran with it. I can’t prove that happened and you can’t prove it didn’t.

Also, people will seize on these incidents as proof of their faith because it is the only thing resembling a fact and they are thirsting for any tangible proof of their faith, any “miracle”.

Religion is so short on facts, the faithful have to resort to “divine” random occurring stains to bolster their beliefs.

It’s sad when grown, intelligent normally reasonable people will seize on and venerate a stain. It’s past sad. It’s pathetic.

But the most apparent and perhaps the most significant fact of all is that people would be highly receptive to an appearance by God himself. The window and concrete stains were obvious random occurring phenomena, not a sign from God. The significant point is people’s reaction. The faithful have never seen substantial, factual proof of their faith and to many, here it was.

Where is God? Does this not prove that should God appear to the human race and speak a few words, he could stop a lot of suffering and answer a lot of burning questions that would put the question of his existence to rest? If he appeared every generation or so, life here on earth would be vastly different. We humans have short attention spans, so say every thirty years or so, God could put in an appearance. He could give us the basic rules to live by in one or two pages, not cryptically woven into a book that by its very nature invites thousands of interpretations. Certainly life would be much better. It would clear up a lot of questions.

“Sure I believe in God! I saw him in 1958 and than in 1988. Everyone believes in God”

I believe an awe inspiring appearance by the Creator would a good thing.

Still haven’t seen Him. It doesn’t prove or disprove his existence. I’m a Deist. I believe in intelligent design, call it God or whatever. It’s a conclusion I’ve come to from observing nature. Not everyone shares my view. I don’t have the answers, just questions. Apparently, the entity that has all the answers and who could easily settle all this controversy, prefers not to.

Those professing faith will seize on proof of their faith, no matter how thin, no matter how unreasonable, no matter how just plain silly. It’s really sad. Not because these people believe that a water stain on a window is a sign from God.

It’s sad because it isn’t a sign from God. These people are desperate for divine guidance and they get none.

Instead, their urge to believe gets manipulated and exploited by Organized Religion.

If naturally occurring images are God’s way of communicating with us than we might want to look into the religious significance of Mickey Mouse.

Disney collects and catalogs unusual natural occurrences of Mickey that appear on everything from a cow to a potato. In fact, there are far more documented instances of Mickey images than of The Virgin Mary. Maybe we ought to look into this Mickey thing.

Maybe we’re missing God’s real message.

The American Citizens Message to The Pope: Shut the Fuck Up.

Pope tells Nancy Pelosi life must be protected

VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI received Nancy Pelosi, one of the most prominent abortion rights politicians in America, and told her Wednesday that Catholic politicians have a duty to protect life “at all stages of its development.” The U.S. House speaker, a Catholic, was the first top Democrat to meet with Benedict since the election of Barack Obama, who won a majority of the U.S. Catholic vote despite differences with the Vatican on abortion.

Here is the link for the rest of the article.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090219/ap_on_re_eu/eu_vatican_us_pelosi

Let me see if I understand this. The leader of the Catholic Church tells one of the most prominent political leaders in the United States, “politicians have a duty to protect life “at all stages of its development” an obvious anti abortion, or in politically correct speak, ”pro life” statement.

I don’t know where this pro life/pro choice language came from. My guess is that people favoring abortion try to soft sell and put a positive spin on killing babies by calling it pro choice, like choosing your favorite color or your favorite pizza, except you are choosing to kill your baby. Hey we can’t let such a major inconvenience like a baby interfere with your social schedule and your penchant for random, casual unprotected sex.

Back to the Pope/Pelosi bullshit.

The article states “Still, a number of bishops in the United States have questioned Pelosi’s stance on abortion, particularly her theological defense of her support for abortion rights.” Pelosi is pro abortion. She disagrees with the Pope on this issue and is not likely to change her mind.

The real issue here is the Popes statements that “Catholic politicians have a duty to protect life”.

Sorry, asshole.  American politicians have a sworn duty to do the biding of their constituents, not the fucking Pope. This flies in the face of the Constitutional principle of separation of church and state. Religion has long been trying to poke holes in this principle in order to gain some control over the United States government.

For example this gem from the late king of religious assholes, Jerry Falwell: “The idea that religion and politics don’t mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.”– Rev Jerry Falwell, Sermon, July 4, 1976.

So, Jerry, which “Christians” are you talking about? Catholics. Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses? Of course not. The Christians to which Jerry refers to are his brand of Christians. He has publically berated all the above religions. He also said this:

“Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan.” It’s no secret that Falwell and Billy did not see eye to eye. So to Falwell, Christians are his brand of Christian, which seems pretty narrow. But the real scary quote is this :.”
– Rev Jerry Falwell, quoted Freethought Today, December, 1999, cited by Anthony T. Podestra of People for the American Way in, Dietz and Holden, Satiricon, p 44; quoted from Steve Benson “Latter-Day Saint To Latter-Day Ain’t”; commemorating the “Tell It Like It Is” Freethought In Media Award, presented on November 5, 1999, by the Freedom From Religion Foundation; excerpted by PAM.

What an asshole. I have a question Jerry, who died and put you in charge? Oh, yea, you said no questions. Ah, but who cares what you think because you don’t think as you are already dead. So by now the rest of you body has no doubt turned to shit like your brain when you were living.

So, referring to Falwell’s quote about “no questions”, what exactly does that mean? It means if Falwell is leading you, you better not question him. Falwell is dead, but there are many more fanatical Christian fuck heads who would love to have as much influence on the United States Government as possible and think like falwell.

“Hey, shut up. Give me all your money. I’m going to fuck your wife..and your daughter…and your son….and your dog. You object??? Good Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions!!! You’re not a good Christian!!!”

The religious asshole parade continues. This asshole, Todd DuBord, senior pastor at Lake Almanor Community Church said this: “I used to believe in ‘a wall of separation between Church and State,’” DuBord wrote in a compilation of his research prepared for his website. “After researching the religion and politics of Thomas Jefferson in the Library of Congress, I now understand that barrier was a gate Jefferson would often pass through.”

The complete article is here:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=54349

DuBord is, of course full of shit. Jefferson, the politician, on several occasions used government support and funds for religious initiative. However, Jefferson was clearly a supporter of the separation of church and state. Giving religion a few Government Dollars didn’t mean Jefferson flipped on the separation issue. DuBord is a moron.

Back to the Pope’s statement, Pelosi’s visit and actions and statements from The Senator from Pennsylvania, Rick Santorum. Santorum is an unapologetic, vocal, active supporter of the Catholic Church and has stated many times that a person should be influenced by his religious beliefs, even politicians and they should vote accordingly.

Again, I say a politician serves his constituents not the Pope, Falwell, Billy Graham, Osama Bin Laden, or any other person or organization. Santorum should be impeached for violating his oath of office.

Why am I yammering on about this? Because religion needs to stay the hell out of the United States Government. Government is secular and needs to stay that way. Look what happened when the Catholics had their turn at influencing governments. They gave us the Crusades and several inquisitions as well as the normal every day oppression and exploitation of the populace.

What do you think Falwell DeBord or any of the other shit heads would do if they got the backing of the Government. The exact same shit.

Personally, I believe abortion is wrong, but as a practical matter, I don’t give a shit. In the past 30 years or so there have been over 40 million abortions performed in the United States alone. Think about that for a moment. People assume that abortions are performed only on lower income woman but in fact the practice is spread across the entire economic spectrum. They may not have economic status and means in common, but the one thing they do have in common is that all these kids were unwanted.

So, had they been born, what impact would 40 million angry, psychologically maladjusted people between the ages of 1 and 30 have on the economy and the social fabric of our society? Would these people be productive? Not likely. They would, as a group be an economic drain. Boy, that would play well in today’s economy. In fact the peasant economic problems would have happened 10 years ago. We’d still be in the shit today.

I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t want 40 million maladjusted psychopaths roaming the country side and lurking in our cities, mugging, murdering and stealing.

Think about this when you protest abortions, holding up signs of these cute little babies. Hitler was a cute little baby too.

Who knows? Maybe that girl you talked out of an abortion will actually have the kid, likely fail miserably as a parent and in 16 years or so the kid will rob your house and steal your big screen. Or better, yet break into the Vatican and steal the Pope’s fish hat. Who dresses that guy anyway? Did Jesus wear a hat like that? It does have a fish on it by the way. At least one of them does.

And by the way, the 16 year old mother that you, the Bible thumping busy body (as in mind your own fucking business) talked out of the abortion turned out not able to handle raising a kid. Now she is a drug dependant crack whore has six cranked out 3 or 4 more bundles of joy, all charter members of the FFA, Future Felons of America.

Religion fucks up everything it touches.

Fashion and Religion: Will it End in Bloodshed?

Police: Man stabs son for wearing hat in church

Tue Feb 24, 4:35 pm ET

BALTIMORE – Police said a 58-year-old man stabbed his teenage son after he refused to take off his hat at church earlier in the day. The father and his 19-year-old son got into an argument on Sunday afternoon. That’s when police said the father went to a car, got a knife and stabbed his son in the left buttock and fled.

The son was taken to University of Maryland Medical Center for treatment. The father’s name was withheld pending his arrest.

The Baltimore Sun, http://www.baltimoresun.com

Fashion related violence is becoming epidemic in our churches.

In one Florida town, a preacher assaulted a parishioner for wearing a pair of crotch less panties to a service. She sat in the front row and apparently the “show” was only meant for him, but his righteous sensibilities were so incensed, he threw his hymnal at her, while screaming “Be gone from this Holy place, Jezebel!!”

Unidentified sources close to the incident speaking in anonymity, said there was talk that the Pastor was already fucking the woman and reacted in this manner only after his wife, who was standing just off stage caught site of the display.

“I think the fact that it took him 45 minutes to notice should tell ya’ sumthin’” a Deacon was overheard saying.

We also have the report of two women going at each other in a Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, after both showed up for Sunday services wearing the same dress.

“It was horrible” one bystander commented “but my money was on the blond with the big tits. Even though, it was sort of a draw, because the dumbass Assistant Pastor broke it up”

NEVER break up a girl fight!! What do they teach these idiots in Seminaries now days!! When two chicks are fighting they might…well….kiss. Would you want to miss that? Do I have to do all the thinking around here??

Religion and fashion are reaching critical mass, what with that Muslim guy throwing his shoes at President Bush. In the Muslim world that is a serious insult. I would much rather have someone throw his shoes at me than say his underwear. Strangely, there is a bit of logic here. Most of the Muslim world smells like shit anyway, so underwear to the face might not be noticed, as it is cloth and presumably soft. Although it would depend on how often it is changed (likely weekly) and if it perhaps has a stale stray turd in it. A petrified piece of shit could leave quite mark.

Anyway, I say to prevent any more fashion violence and ass stabbings, people should attend Church naked. I say if God had intended women to wear clothes they would not be born naked.

Anyway, it ain’t my problem, as I do not go to church. So, if you don’t like what some one wears, go ahead and stab them in the ass.

And Do NOT break up a chick fight!!!!!!!

Another Disillusioned Jehovah’s Witness Quits after Learning the Jo Ho’s Are Bullshit.

Below is a letter of resignation from a Jehovah’s Witness missionary. He says below “I am sharing my resignation letter with anyone who cares to read it.” so I am putting it up for all my readers. It is on the net at several other sites.

I also left the Jo Ho’s after 50 years and one of the many (way to numerous to list here) reasons was the 607BCE/1914 conundrum he mentions below.

Just to forewarn, any Jo Ho reading this will label it “apostate”, which is in effect to a Jo Ho, equal to the aids virus. Note also that he divorced his wife and left her “scripturally free to remarry” meaning he committed adultery, as to Jo Ho’s that is the only grounds for a divorce. Jo Ho’s will seize on this point, ignore the points he makes about the dates and in their own mind fell that he is a liar and a “tool of Satan” because he is a fornicator.

When one is excommunicated from the Jo Ho’s, or “disfellowshipped” which is Jo Ho speak, (it isn’t a real word), the leaders have to give the impression that you did something wrong. Announcing that one has been “disfellowshipped “ for “Disagreeing with the Watchtower” would raise far too many questions that the Elders can’t answer. In fact, the friends of the guy who wrote the letter below all think he left the Jo Ho’s because he was an adulterer.

As in my case I left the Jo Ho’s because I no longer bought their crap. It was only after, that I became a fornicator and a zealous one at that.

Here is my standard greeting to all Jo Ho’s: Fuck you, you deluded moronic asswipes.

Here is the letter:

I am sharing my resignation letter with anyone who cares to read it. I know some people had to read it, and I hope it did some good. Maybe it will do good for some readers here too. I don’t call my leaving “disassociation”, because that’s a JW term of convenience. I resigned my membership from this group, nothing more. They did the rest. Here is why I left, not even one year after graduating from Gilead…(Gilead is the Witness missionary training school)

To whom it may concern:

In early September, I came across a man in the ministry who was curious as to how Jehovah’s Witnesses got the date 1914. As I explained to him in basic terms, it started with the count of the gentile times, (2,520 years) from 607 BCE. He was intrigued by our calculations, but was puzzled as to why we say Jerusalem was destroyed in 607 BCE, when “everyone else” has it as 586/587 BCE. Confident that I would be able to prove the date of 607 BCE, I went about to research further this date and to use whatever secular sources existed to prove it. He wanted to see proof beyond what Jehovah’s Witnesses have published, so I therefore researched this thoroughly.

Imagine my surprise to find that while Jehovah’s Witnesses use certain ancient secular sources from Babylon and Persia to arrive at 539 BCE as the fall of Babylon , while at the same time dismiss these very same sources for EVERYTHING else related to the fall of Jerusalem . I couldn’t understand this, but resolved that the “faithful and discreet slave” would no doubt have gone to great lengths to make sure that such an important date as 607 BCE could be verified. I also continued my research.

I will not detail my findings, as I have since come to learn that the Governing Body has refused to look at such evidence or even acknowledge it. The Governing Body above all others knows the controversy of this date and of their own efforts at first to prove 1914 through historical references only to fail in that, then to squelch anyone who even suggested otherwise. At some point, it will be in the Governing Body’s best interests to address this. Suffice to say that I have seen abundant and real proof that both 607 BCE and the related date of 1914 is a date propped up by questionable use of bible scriptures, questionable theology, and white washed history relating to the “modern day history” of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

The use of the word “bible chronology” in the Watchtower and Insight on the Scriptures always was impressive to me. I now see that it is a misleading “bait and switch” phrase that is designed to stop a person from looking at real historical evidence. The use of one date as a pivotal date by Jehovah’s Witnesses, 539 BCE as the fall of Babylon is stretched and distorted. We discard the very same sources used to arrive at 539 BCE as the date of the destruction of Babylon and say they are inaccurate when it comes to the date of the destruction of Jerusalem!!!. Why? Because it doesn’t fit with a preconceived idea, that of 1914 as being significant. At best, 1914 will go down as a great coincidence between World War I starting, and what a few people who followed C T Russell were looking for. This is disingenuous, misleading, and unfair.
I am not disillusioned at all! I feel relief for the first time. My only strong feeling is that of disgust; that a few men who are themselves married to 1914 yet at the same time unsure of it, will use that “prophetic” teaching as a source of authority to appoint themselves as some kind of “faithful and discreet slave”, and then try to use this authority control the thinking and actions of so many in the name of god!!

Having gone to the Watchtower School of Gilead, I could never get over the fact that almost everything in the bible according to Jehovah’s Witnesses, “prophetically points” to the “faithful slave” and its governing body. You even go so far as to compare the administrations of Rutherford to the prophet Elijah and Knorr to Elisha!! How arrogant!! What an unbelievable stretch to say that the bible “prophesied” the existence of Rutherford and Knorr!! I use this as one of many examples used by the governing body to keep their power base “scriptural” in the eyes of those that follow and support this organization! I am only disappointed in myself that I didn’t scream out loud at the time this was being “taught”. This is how one must study the bible to get close to God and Christ??? Absolutely not!! Yet you clearly go beyond what is written in the bible itself, saying that to be disobedient to the governing body is the same as being disobedient to Jehovah himself, though the governing body neither admits to being inspired or perfect. What a double standard!

It wasn’t a year ago that I almost died in service to “Jehovah” while in Cameroon as a missionary. Now, I see that my service was to nothing more than a group of misguided men. I was even considering taking up a difficult and economically questionable move to help out a congregation our circuit overseer said was in need! I have done all that I have done for Jehovah’s Witnesses with real zeal, belief, and sincerity of heart. I willingly and happily sacrificed much. But now, I have learned that this is just another crazy group using the bible to fit their own agenda.

I therefore find it necessary as of the date of this letter, to officially resign as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Because of personal issues, I am also divorcing my wife, ——-. For her benefit, I will provide her with the evidence allowing her to remarry as a Jehovah’s Witness if that is her wish, when in fact, I have such evidence honestly to give.

My only regret is knowing that I will be leaving behind hundreds of friends that I have come to love very much. I realize how I will hence be treated. While I must accept this for the time being, it is my hope that all whom I have ever loved in this organization are or will be happy one day, although I have come to learn that such happiness will likely not result from their association with Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Diners report seeing Virgin Mary in food griddle

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_griddle_virgin_mary

This article was sent to be by Leo, an alert reader of this blog. Thanks, Leo!

 Thu Apr 30, 9:14 pm ET

CALEXICO, Calif. – The hottest thing on the griddle at the Las Palmas restaurant these days isn’t the food — it’s the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe that a cook says she saw on the griddle.

Restaurant manager Brenda Martinez says more than 100 people have flocked to the small town of Calexico on the California-Mexico border to gaze at the likeness of the Virgin Mary since it was discovered as the griddle was being cleaned.

Among the awe-struck was a group of masked Mexican wrestlers who arrived Thursday for an exhibition at a nearby swap meet.

One, known as Mr. Tempest, says: “This is amazing. It’s a true miracle.”

Since the discovery, the griddle has been taken out of service and placed in a shrine in a storage room.

——————————————————

I bet they’re charging a good bit to anyone who wants a look. And I am sure they’re making some serious jack.

I have a previous post here called “Faith and Mickey Mouse”. I talk about how people go crazy over the likeness of the Virgin Mary on windows in Florida and cement walls in Chicago. If likenesses appearing in nature are significant, than perhaps God is sending us the message that Mickey Mouse is of cosmic importance. Disney actually invites people who have things that look like Mickey Mouse to send photos or the original article to them. They have thousands of photos, potato chips, tomatoes, etc. that resemble Mickey.

In fact, there was a cow born with a huge Mickey on her side. They had her on display at Disney World in Florida. I have seen her several times.

In all seriousness, what does the reactions of people, when hearing of the likeness of the Virgin Mary appearing on a griddle, window or cement wall tell us? People grasp at straws for proof of their faith. Religion needs faith because it has no facts. To quote Sam Harris, the noted atheist “Religious faith requires people to believe in things they could not possibly know”.

Normally, I would ridicule the moronic assumption, by the crazed faithful, who revere a stain on a window, griddle and/or cement wall as some proof or sign from God, the Virgin Mary or whatever deity. But in this case the actions by these brain dead, deluded, moronic religious assholes may in fact elicit empathy from this otherwise foul mouthed critique of all things religious.

 By the way, the Bible says Mary had other kids the old fashioned way, after Jesus, so her cherry is waaay popped. But, believe what you want.

Stop and think. These people are hungering for some tangible proof of their faith, because they have none. Not one shred of evidence to prove any of the bullshit the Catholics cram down their throats. It’s not just the Catholics in any religion based on any of the numerous bullshit Holy Books.

People want real, tangible proof. Do ya’ think God knows that? So, where is he? Just one appearance from him and it would solve a lot of the world’s problems. I haven’t seen him. I have concluded that there is a God/Intelligent/whatever, but I do not presume to have any exclusive communications with him/her/it and/or them. I have come to this conclusion simply by observing nature and the universe. To me, it’s reasonable.

But, mankind seems to be adrift in a cosmic sea of vast uncertainty, populated by millions of people and organizations claiming that they have the only exclusive path to him.

“Well, you just have to read the Bible. He’ll make himself known to you”. Oh yea, well fuck you in the ass. I’ve read the Bible, likely far more than most people. Nothing jumped out at me. There is no proof the Bible is from God or that Jesus Christ was a real person, so blow me.

The Bible has as many interpretations as readers. There are different interpretations of all the “Holy Books” and not a shred of proof that any of them was divinely inspired.

The sad part is that poor, hapless suckers, yearning for some micron on proof for what they believe, grasping at straws, revere stains on griddles, cement walls and windows. Pathetic. But, you can bet your ass that Pancho and Cisco down at the Las Palmas restaurant are raking in the pesos.

The real question is what’s with the “masked Mexican wrestlers”? What’s under those masks? Are they really Mexican? Did they pay for their meal and not steal anything? That would be the real fucking miracle.

Jehovah’ Witnesses: All Dressed Up and No Where to Go.

It occurred to me some time ago that for once in their long, sordid history, fraught with false prophesies, loony assertions and strange and improvable assumptions, Jehovah’s Witnesses, at this specific time in their history don’t have a date. They are dateless, stood up and left at the curb, in their prom dress with the wilting corsage.

In the entire history of this eclectic and often derided Religious group, they have always had a “date”. They have always been looking forward, like the donkey follows the carrot on the stick, to Armageddon and it was always real close and going to come within specific, measurable time periods.

 “It’s just around the corner!”. Don’t waste your time in “worldly pursuits! Armageddon and God’s new world is soooo close”

Interestingly, at this particular snapshot in time, they do not have a date for Armageddon. Oh, it’s still close, it’s still “around the corner” but the Watchtower Society has not set any precise time period or “Drop dead date”, like they have in the past.

I was raised a Jo Ho, from birth. At age 18 I was reading this from the Awake, May 22, 1969 page 15:

“All the evidence in fulfillment of Bible prophesy indicates that this corrupt system is due to end in a few years. Jesus foretold “This generation will by no means pass away until all these things occur”.

From the same Awake, page 15: “Therefore as a young person you will never fulfill any career that this system offers.”

I am 57, a grandfather, a college graduate, have started and sold several successful companies and am contemplating retirement. But, in 1969, “this corrupt system (was) due to end in a few years” and I had no time to “fulfill any career that this system offers”, surely the system would end before I was 30 or even 35.

Again, historically, Jo Ho’s have always had a date or a time period. For example, The Watchtower Society prophesied that Armageddon would come at 6 separate and distinct time periods and they were wrong.

1914 – “In view of this strong Bible evidence concerning the Times of the Gentiles, we consider it an established truth that the final end of the kingdoms of this world, and the full establishment of the Kingdom of God, will be accomplished by the end of 1914.” (The Time is at Hand, 1902 edition, p. 99) Note: this same statement was contained in the 1908 edition of the same book.

End of WW1: “The present great war in Europe is the beginning of the Armageddon of the Scriptures (Revelation 19:16-20). It will eventuate in the complete overthrow of all the systems of error which have so long oppressed the people of God and deluded the world”. (Pastor Russell’s Sermons, 1915, p. 676) In the same year (1915),

1925 – “The period must end in 1925 . . . [This date] is definitely fixed in the Scriptures. Every thinking person can see that a great climax is at hand. The scriptures clearly indicate that the climax is the fall of Satan’s empire and the full establishment of the Messianic kingdom . . . Therefore, it can be confidently said at this time that millions now living will never die”. (Golden Age, January 4, 1922, p. 217)

1975 – Watchtower, October 15, 1969 pages 622 and 623:

“More recently earnest researchers of the Holy Bible have made a recheck of its chronology. According to their calculations the six millenniums of mankind’s life on earth would end in the mid-seventies…. Would not, then, the end of six millenniums of mankind’s laborious enslavement under Satan the Devil be the fitting time for Jehovah God to usher in a Sabbath millennium for all his human creatures? Yes, indeed! And his King Jesus Christ will be Lord of that Sabbath.”

Notice the use of the definite article “the”. It would be “the fitting time”, not “a fitting time” not “an appropriate time” but “THE FITTING TIME”, to the exclusion of all other times. “Yes, Indeed! And his King Jesus Christ will be Lord of that Sabbath”. Not “might be”, not “could be”, but “WILL BE”.
, for sure now….”

End of the 20th Century – Again in 1971, they said it would come in the 20th century: ”Shortly, within our twentieth century, the “battle in the day of Jehovah” will begin”. From: The Nations Shall Know That I Am Jehovah – How? 1971 p. 216”

Within the life span of the 1914 generation: Watchtower, 7/1/69 pg395:

“People who were only just old enough to understand what was happening to the world in 1914 are now approaching seventy years of age. Yes, the numbers of that generation are dwindling fast, but before they all pass away this system must meet its end in the war of Armageddon.”

I lived the 1975 thing, the before the end of the 20^th Century thing and the 1914 generation thing.

I was still a Witness in 1995 when the definition of the 1914 generation was changed. It was so subtle that, although I read every publication, I apparently missed that. And so did many Witnesses. When I have a conversation with a Witness, I will ask about the 1914 gen and the changed in 1995. (They also changed it again sometime in 2002 or so back to the original 1927 definition).  Most current Jo Ho’s have no idea what I am taking about. Either they are old enough to remember the original definition, shown above from the July, 1, 1969 Watchtower or they are too young to be aware of what it was and what it now is.

Here are the three incarnations of the definition of the 1914 generation.:

1-      Wt 2/15/27, page 62: The Anointed ones make up the generation

 

2-      Some time in the 1950’s it changed to this: Watchtower, 7/1/69 pg395: “People who were only just old enough to understand what was happening to the world in 1914 are now approaching seventy years of age. Yes, the numbers of that generation are dwindling fast, but before they all pass away this system must meet its end in the war of Armageddon.”

 

3-      WT 11/1/95, pg 19-20:  Therefore, in the final fulfillment of Jesus’ prophecy today, “this generation” apparently refers to the peoples of earth who see the sign of Christ’s presence but fail to mend their ways.

 

4-      2008, the 1914 generation  changed again, back to the 1927 teaching. WT 2/15/2008, page 24 “Anointed ones make up the generation”

 

So the definition of the 1914 gen went full circle and now it is not attached to anytime period, like the death of those of that generation.

The Jo Ho’s have no date.  They are dateless.

Without being raised in this frantic environment of “We’re running out of time”, “Armageddon is just around the corner”, I can’t imagine being a Jo Ho without a date.

But alas, they are dateless, adrift on a sea of reality, as their past dates did not happen and perhaps they are reticent to quote a new one.

However, I have faith in the Watchtower Society. I have complete faith that they will not be dateless for long. Look for a date that perhaps has something to do with Noah, 120 years and 1914. I am keeping up with the Jo Ho lit, even the Watchtowers they study and no longer distribute door to door.

Oh yea, they have two Watchtowers, one for Jo Ho’s and one for the public. I have access to it all and lately it looks like they are hinting at this Noah connection. I predict that they say that Armageddon will come before 2034, or 120 years from 1914.

“This is the new “Truth” from Jehovah, as all our previous predictions have been bullshit”

The Watchtower, 10/1/94, pg 8

“Even as Bible prophecy pointed forward to the Messiah, it also directs us to the close-knit body of anointed Christian Witnesses that now serve as the faithful and discreet slave. It helps us to understand the Word of God. All who want to understand the Bible should appreciate that the “greatly diversified wisdom of God” can become known only through Jehovah’s channel of communication, the faithful and discreet slave.”

Hey, they were only wrong 100% in the 20^th Century. Let’s see what the “greatly diversified wisdom of God” can become known only through Jehovah’s channel of communication, the faithful and discreet slave.” Has for us in the 21^st Century. More bullshit dates.

Religion Keeps Trying to Worm it’s Way into The United States Government

From an article entitled “The Bible bill?”, by Victoria McGrane – Fri May 22, 5:40 am ET

When the clock strikes midnight on Dec. 31, 2009, Rep. Paul Broun (R-Ga.) hopes you’ll be ringing in “the Year of the Bible.”

It’s probably just wishful thinking.

Broun’s simple congressional resolution aimed at honoring the Good Book has produced a push-back of biblical proportion in the blogosphere, with critics dismissing it as either unconstitutional or a waste of time. Jews in Congress and atheist activists are dismissing the resolution, while none of the many Democrats in Congress who are Christian have bothered to sign on as co-sponsors.

According to GovTrak.us, the resolution is among the most-blogged-about pieces of legislation, with most posts less than complimentary in nature.

“Does that mean 2009 is not the year of the Bible?” mocked Rep. Barney Frank ­(D-Mass.), who is Jewish. “What is 2012 the year of? The Quran?”

“That’s an endorsement of religion by the federal government, and we shouldn’t be doing that,” said Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.), even though he has introduced his own legislation dealing with religion.

“Republican lawmakers with apparently too much time on their hands and no solutions to offer the country are pushing a resolution that will not address the nation’s problems or advance prosperity or even untangle their previous governing mistakes,” blogged the Progressive Puppy.

Broun rejects the critiques leveled at this effort.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with Christianity,” he said in an interview with POLITICO. Rather, he says, it seeks to recognize that the Bible played an integral role in the building of the United States, including providing the basis for our freedom of religion that allows Muslims, Hindus and even atheists to vocalize their own beliefs.

You can read the entire article at this link:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20090522/pl_politico/22832

                    _____________________________________________________________

The incredible amount and varieties of horse shit, that keeps oozing from the multiple orifices of the United States Government, never ceases to amaze, disgust and amuse me.

The Year of The Bible, as decreed by the United States Congress. Hey, I only see a few problems with this issue. Separation of Church and State, for one and a whole host of other issues, violating other federal, state and local laws, not to mention common sense and courtesy.  

Broun, you dope. What a fucking bone head. There is so may things wrong with this, it is no wonder as the article says: “Broun’s simple congressional resolution aimed at honoring the Good Book has produced a push-back of biblical proportion in the blogosphere, with critics dismissing it as either unconstitutional or a waste of time.” It has little support among congress and the general public.

As a side bar look what Barney Fag…err..Frank has to say:

“Does that mean 2009 is not the year of the Bible?” mocked Rep. Barney Frank ­(D-Mass.), who is Jewish. “What is 2012 the year of? The Quran?”

Well to the fudge packing, cock sucking congressman from Mass-he-chews-tits, I would ask is 2004 the year of the “Faggot Congressmen Who Fucked the US Economy Up the Ass”? Barney gay boy and his band of brain dead democrat congressional fuck heads played a huge roll in the present fucked up economy by failing to oversee Fannie Mae and Freddie Mack?  Check it out, on video, in their own words:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxMInSfanqg

Sorry, but every time is see that asshole Frank, I have to throw up this video. However, in this case, Frank is correct. Thats one in a row, Barney. Hey that rymes with “Blow me!”

However, the equally brain dead asshole Broun asserts the following: ““This doesn’t have anything to do with Christianity,”. What????

The dope Broun continues, saying  that the Bible played an integral role in the building of the United States, including providing the basis for our freedom of religion that allows Muslims, Hindus and even atheists to vocalize their own beliefs, to which I say bullshit.

The Bible is totally intolerant of any other religion and does not leave any room for “religious freedom”.

Dueteronomy  Chapter 7, verse 3 + 4:

3:Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. 4: For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.

The God of the Bible did not take kindly to people serving other Gods. In fact, He will “destroy thee suddenly”, for doing such a thing. There is a huge lesson in religious tolerance and freedom there. Like the God of the Bible doesn’t allow it and will seriously kill your sorry ass.

Anyone familiar with the Bible should know this without looking.

Here’s another gem, illustrating the God of the Bibles good nature toward other religions:

Exodus 34: 14 + 15:

“14 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God: 15 Lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they go a whoring after their gods, and do sacrifice unto their gods, and one call thee, and thou eat of his sacrifice”

“Jealous”. That’s a word that exudes religious tolerance.

“Hey, it’s OK if you tolerate other religions in your new country. I’m cool with that. I know, I know, The Bible calls me a jealous God, but it’s the 1700’s! Let’s get past all this religious intolerance. This new country will be really cool! Tell everyone the God has a new attitude!””

There are many other examples where the God of the Bible slaughters men, women and children simply because they are unbelievers and when it’s made clear that unbelievers will be killed or burned in hell eternally, depending on which one of the many diverse theologies people have extracted from the same book.

Broun, you brain dead asshole. The notion of a U S Government sponsored “Year of the Bible” is wrong on so many levels without you raising the religious tolerance issue. The Bible, Jesus and most Christian Religions are no more tolerant of other religions than the Muslims, Jews and Hindus.  In fact, Bible based religions are intolerant of each other to the point of bloodshed. Do the problems between the Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland ring a bell, you asshole?

Broun is a “Christian” and is trying to give his religion some influence over the U S Government. Tell it like it is. Don’t couch it in “religious tolerance” bullshit.

There are two real issues here, of any substance, the first being the separation of church and state issue. The second is asked by the author of the above article: What about the economy, health care, global warming and all the other issues on Congress’ plate?

Good question. As we suffer through the worst economic crises in decades, Broun dithers and wastes time on a “non issue”. Hey, Broun and all you other government fuck heads:  get to work and stop fucking around with this type of bullshit issue. Facing and working on real pressing issues apparently is too much work for Mr. Broun. Does it give you a headache Pauly?

“Man, all these spreadsheets, financial reports, projections, policy briefings, it’s all a big blur for this old country boy from Georgia. Some guy was palabering about the OMB. I don’t even know what that is but I think I can spell it. I’m hearing all this talk about  Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and I haven’t even met these two guys yet, but I say haul ‘em in front of congress and give ‘em what fur!”

“But we need to honor the Good Book. Yea, that’ll make me a big dog back home”

Hey, Broun, good idea. Go back home. In fact, take Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, Maxine Waters and Harry Reid with you

Fucking Morons.

More Religious Horse Shit

From WorldNetDaily

http://wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=98895

FAITH UNDER FIRE
Home: No place for Bible study

County Demands Pastor Obtain $10,000 Permit to Host Friends

By Drew Zahn
© 2009  

A  San Diego pastor and his wife claim they were interrogated by a county official and warned they will face escalating fines if they continue to hold Bible studies in their home.

The couple, whose names are being withheld until a demand letter can be filed on their behalf, told their attorney a county government employee knocked on their door on Good Friday, asking a litany of questions about their Tuesday night Bible studies, which are attended by approximately 15 people.

“Do you have a regular weekly meeting in your home? Do you sing? Do you say ‘amen’?” the official reportedly asked. “Do you say, ‘Praise the Lord’?”

The pastor’s wife answered yes.

She says she was then told, however, that she must stop holding “religious assemblies” until she and her husband obtain a Major Use Permit from the county, a permit that often involves traffic and environmental studies, compliance with parking and sidewalk regulations and costs that top tens of thousands of dollars.

And if they fail to pay for the MUP, the county official reportedly warned, the couple will be charged escalating fines beginning at $100, then $200, $500, $1000, “and then it will get ugly.”

Remind the world who’s really in charge with the “Worship GOD, not GOV” magnetic bumper sticker from WND.

Dean Broyles of the Western Center for Law & Policy, which has been retained to represent the couple, told WND the county’s action not only violates religious land-use laws but also assaults both the First Amendment’s freedom of assembly and freedom of religion.

“The First Amendment, in part, reads, ‘Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,’” Broyles said. “And that’s the key part: ‘prohibiting the free exercise.’ We believe this is a substantial government burden on the free exercise of religion.”

He continued, “If one’s home is one’s castle, certainly you would the think the free exercise of religion, of all places, could occur in the home.”

Broyles confirmed the county official followed through on his threat. The pastor and his wife received a written warning ordering the couple to “cease/stop religious assembly on parcel or obtain a major use permit.”

“The Western Center for Law and Policy is troubled by this draconian move to suppress home Bible studies,” said the law center in a statement. “If the current trends in our nation continue, churches may be forced underground. If that happens, believers will once again be forced to meet in homes. If homes are already closed by the government to assembly and worship, where then will Christians meet?”

On a personal note, Broyles added, “I’ve been leading Bible studies in my home for 13 years in San Diego County, and I personally believe that home fellowship Bible studies are the past and future of the church. … If you look at China, the church grew from home Bible studies. I’m deeply concerned that if in the U.S. we are not able to meet in our homes and freely practice our religion, then we may be worse off than China.”

Broyles also explained to WND that oppressive governments, such as communist China or Nazi Germany, worked to repress home fellowships, labeling them the “underground church” or “subversive groups,” legally compelling Christians to meet only in sanctioned, government-controlled “official” churches.

“Therein lies my concern,” Broyles said. “If people can’t practice their religious beliefs in the privacy of their own homes with a few of their friends, that’s an egregious First Amendment violation.”

WND contacted a spokeswoman for San Diego County, who acknowledged the description of the incident seemed “bizarre,” but who was unable to locate the details of the account. She simply could not provide comment yet, she said, until she could become familiar with the case.

Broyles said the WCLP is nearly ready to file a demand letter with the county to release the pastor and his wife from the requirement to obtain the expensive permit. If the county refuses, Broyles said, the WCLP will consider a lawsuit in federal court.

Broyles also told WND the pastor and his wife are continuing to hold the Bible study in their home.

_________________________________________________________________________________

 

What the hell does a Deist do with this?

Well as an American and a staunch supporter if the Constitution, if I support the separation of Church and State, than logically, I would support the Feeedom of Religion and I do.

I despise orgnized religion, however I would not want the Government to have the power to decide any matter that is clearly a personal choice. Don’t get me wrong. I would laugh my ass of if Religion was outlawed. But what comes next? All other aspects of personal freedom would be vulnerable to the Government meddeling. Free speech, freedom of expression, freedom to move where and when you chose, numerous peronal freedoms would be threatened. So, in a way, it’s a small sacrafice to let religons exist. Besides, without religion, what would be left for me to ridicule?

Another Deist, quite a bit more notable and eloquent than I, perhap the individual I admire most, Thomas Jefferson said it best:

“In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own.”

-Thomas Jefferson, letter to Horatio G. Spafford, March 17, 1814.

He is also alleged to have said, “It’s not Christianity I oppose, it’s the tyranny it brings its subjects” I am likely quoting this alleged quote incorrectly, but you get the idea. I know, it’s probably on the net, so look it up. Who says I have to do all the work?

But if you want to have friends over and study the Bible, Mad Magazine or The Writings of Chairman Mao, than you have every right.

However, there are a few issues and details about this story that should be pointed out.  First, “The World Net Daily” is not exactly unbiased. It is a very conservative, right wing and pro religious. As a side bar, I am a Republican, a Conservative and not religious. I really am fed up with the fuck head religious right trying to control the party.

But if you read the article carefully, you begin to see the problem, the article says:

“She(the wife of the Pastor in question)  says she was then told, however, that she must stop holding “religious assemblies” until she and her husband obtain a Major Use Permit from the county, a permit that often involves traffic and environmental studies, compliance with parking and sidewalk regulations and costs that top tens of thousands of dollars. “

Say, for example a couple decides to have such a Bible study in their home. Say it’s the couple and ten friends. If this was my neighborhood, it would cause a parking problem, because on my street there really is no street parking and my driveway is small. 5, 7 or so cars, every Tuesday would cause a problem with both me and the neighbors.

The article does not say how many persons attended this Bible study, what the parking issues were or what ordinances applied. How would you like it if, every Tuesday when The Mentalist is on, (I love that show) 59 people, after clogging up you street with cars, all started singing “Bringing in the Sheaves”?  So, while the on street parking is causing a potential problem for perhaps the Paramedics reaching your house and hoard of religious bone heads are messing with your favorite show.

Do they use a PA System? Boy, that would piss me off. Like I need to hear some religious dope blathering about the Bible or Jesus, shouting Amen or Praise the Lord, while I am I my fat boy recliner watching TV with a cold Corona. What if this bonehead Pastor is trying to start a church on the cheap?

Now that’s just plain bullshit, but that is most likely the actual scenario. Religious assholes are probably not having this little, innocent, quiet Bible Study. I bet they’re breaking the law and deliberately causing some sort of public nuisance, which has brought them attention from the authorities. The World Net Daily, I would suspect, is bending the facts, trying to turn this into some type of crap they are throwing at liberals.  This is just the sort of things that Conservatives blame on the Liberal press.  Click on the link in the article where it says, Remind the world who’s really in charge with the “Worship GOD, not GOV” magnetic bumper sticker from WND.

Another quote from the article states:  “Do you have a regular weekly meeting in your home? Do you sing? Do you say ‘amen’?” the official reportedly asked. “Do you say, ‘Praise the Lord’?”

I smell embellishment. The only thing here that seems legit is that they asked if they sing, the sound/nuisance issue. As for “do you say amen?” I think Mrs. Unnamed Pastor and/or The World Net Daily, is seriously full of shit on that one. I don’t think either is above stretching the fats.  I mean, really, would a government official ask these questions and expect to get away with it? Not likely.

About a year ago, the lady next door had a party, of sorts, Tupperware, whatever. About 25 women attended, including my wife. There were cars all over the place and they were noisy.

If this happened every Tuesday I would be pissed.

So, “The Government” persecuting Christians or is the Pastors Wife and/or The World Net Daily distorting the real situation? Either one is bullshit.

Believe what you want, meet with your friends and discuss/read/study what you want, as long as it does not interfere with the rights of other.  I swear, if any of you anyone fucks up my TV time by singing religious hymns, folk songs or Def Leopard, I would call the Cops in a New York minute, if I didn’t flatten all your tires and set fire to your house first.

And to the World Net Daily, shut your fact twisting, religiously biased cyber pie hole.

It’s Chicken Little Season in the Jehovah’s Witness World.

From the “Rochester Democrat and Chronicle”

“Jehovah’s Witnesses prepare for the end”

Bennett J. Loudon • Staff writer • July 5, 2009

Thousands of people are expected to attend the last day of a three-day religious convention in downtown Rochester, where the program today will focus on how to survive what organizers believe is the approaching end of the world.

Keep the Watch is the theme of the Jehovah’s Witnesses convention at the Blue Cross Arena at the Community War Memorial that is focused on recognizing signs of the end time and preparing for it, organizers said.

Jeffrey Case, a spokesman for the Jehovah’s Witnesses, said the wars, rampant crime and massive hunger occurring worldwide are all signs of the apocalypse predicted in the Bible.

“Those are all things that we see in the news all the time,” Case said.

This morning, there will be a presentation on how to survive the end of the world by living according to the Bible. In the afternoon, an hourlong live dramatic presentation based on the parable of the prodigal son will be featured. That performance is intended especially for youths who may have strayed from the organization, Case said.

About 4,500 people from central New York and northern Pennsylvania were expected to attend each day of the three-day convention. Another three-day convention in about two weeks is expected to attract an equal number of people from the Rochester area. And a third convention at the arena in about three weeks will serve just as many people from Buffalo and western New York, Case said.

All the conventions are free and open to the public.

“Once a year we look forward to the new information, the latest information on Bible understanding,” said Elijah Nelson, 55, of Syracuse, who attended the convention with his wife, Rebecca Nelson, 48.

“One of the things that Jehovah’s Witnesses are known for is the love among them, and a district convention where you get to see 5,000 brothers and sisters is such a treat,” he said.

BLOUDON@DemocratandChronicle.com

     ___________________________________________________________________________________

Yes, it’s that time of year again, Jo Ho District Assembly time. Where those beloved doom and gloomers decend upon select unfortunate cities by the thousands and attend what seem to be endless sessions of Bible lectures which have one main theme: God will destroy the world any day now, If you ain’t one of us, you’re dead and we can’t wait to see an angel severe your worthless head.

The Assemblies of late are different from the many I attended during my 50 years as a Jo Ho. As I had mentioned in  a previous post, the Jo Ho’s are presently dateless. By that I mean they are not presently calling for a date for Armageddon. You know, the Big “A”, when the loving, kind, merciful God they worship slaughters, in a most horrible way, all non Jehovah’s Witnesses.

When I was a Jo Ho,we always had a date or a time period in which this would happen. I couldn’t wait for Jehovah to kill all you non believing, devil worshiping hoardes of unwashed religious masses who didn’t know what we knew. We had the truth, you don’t have shit. Ha Ha, Satans got you fooled!! You deserve to die and have the birds pick the eyes out of your rotting corpse. That’ll teach you to slam the door in the faces of God’s chosen people. Here’s what Jehovah has in store for you:

From Watchtower 2/1/85, page 3-4:

“So devastating will Armageddon be that the carnage is referred to as a reaping of “the harvest of the earth” by means of a sharp sickle. “And the angel thrust his sickle into the earth and gathered the vine of the earth, and he hurled it into the great winepress of the anger of God. And the winepress was trodden outside the city, and blood came out of the winepress as high up as the bridles of the horses, for a distance of a thousand six hundred furlongs.”—Revelation 14:15-20.”

“Yes, blood will run deep under the hand of God’s executional forces. The 69 million deaths of two world wars will pale in comparison to those slain in God’s war of Armageddon. Concerning them the prophet Jeremiah wrote: “Those slain by Jehovah will certainly come to be in that day from one end of the earth clear to the other end of the earth. They will not be bewailed, neither will they be gathered up or be buried. As manure on the surface of the ground they will become.”—Jeremiah 25:30-33.

The burning missiles, fiery showers, and other cataclysmic forces that accompany God’s judgment will strike terror into the hearts of mankind earth wide. In confusion they will turn, each one against his neighbor, as God’s executional forces strike without regard to age or sex. For God instructs them to show no mercy: “Strike. Let not your eye feel sorry, and do not feel any compassion. Old man, young man and virgin and little child and women you should kill off—to a ruination.”—Ezekiel 9:5, 6; Zechariah 14:12, 13.”

Remember, in the entire history of this loony fringe group of deluded morons, they always had a date. But although presently “dateless” the Jo Ho’s are still jumping around like so many hyper French poodles, pissing themselves in anticipation of you getting slaughtered by God during the coming global carnage, because as the Watchtower, 9/1/89 page 19 says:

 ”ONLY Jehovah’s Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the “great crowd,” as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil.”

Yes sir, the unbelieveing pieces of shit that the rest of us are, are basically fucked.

As I mentioned, the Jo Ho’s always had a date. The Watchtower Society prophesied that Armageddon would come at 6 separate and distinct time periods and they were wrong.

1914 – “In view of this strong Bible evidence concerning the Times of the Gentiles, we consider it an established truth that the final end of the kingdoms of this world, and the full establishment of the Kingdom of God, will be accomplished by the end of 1914.” (The Time is at Hand, 1902 edition, p. 99) Note: this same statement was contained in the 1908 edition of the same book.

End of WW1: “The present great war in Europe is the beginning of the Armageddon of the Scriptures (Revelation 19:16-20). It will eventuate in the complete overthrow of all the systems of error which have so long oppressed the people of God and deluded the world”. (Pastor Russell’s Sermons, 1915, p. 676) In the same year (1915),

1925 – “The period must end in 1925 . . . [This date] is definitely fixed in the Scriptures. Every thinking person can see that a great climax is at hand. The scriptures clearly indicate that the climax is the fall of Satan’s empire and the full establishment of the Messianic kingdom . . . Therefore, it can be confidently said at this time that millions now living will never die”. (Golden Age, January 4, 1922, p. 217)

1975 – Watchtower, October 15, 1969 pages 622 and 623:

“More recently earnest researchers of the Holy Bible have made a recheck of its chronology. According to their calculations the six millenniums of mankind’s life on earth would end in the mid-seventies…. Would not, then, the end of six millenniums of mankind’s laborious enslavement under Satan the Devil be the fitting time for Jehovah God to usher in a Sabbath millennium for all his human creatures? Yes, indeed! And his King Jesus Christ will be Lord of that Sabbath.”

Notice the use of the definite article “the”. It would be “the fitting time”, not “a fitting time” not “an appropriate time” but “THE FITTING TIME”, to the exclusion of all other times. “Yes, Indeed! And his King Jesus Christ will be Lord of that Sabbath”. Not “might be”, not “could be”, but “WILL BE”.

End of the 20th Century – Again in 1971, they said it would come in the 20th century: ”Shortly, within our twentieth century, the “battle in the day of Jehovah” will begin”. From: The Nations Shall Know That I Am Jehovah – How? 1971 p. 216”

Within the life span of the 1914 generation: Watchtower, 7/1/69 pg395:

“People who were only just old enough to understand what was happening to the world in 1914 are now approaching seventy years of age. Yes, the numbers of that generation are dwindling fast, but before they all pass away this system must meet its end in the war of Armageddon.”

None of the above happened and they changed the 1914 thing.

I was reading stuff like this at age 23, From “Our Kingdom Ministry”, May 1974, page 3:

“Yes, since the summer of 1973 there have been new peaks in pioneers every month. Now there are 20,394 regular and special pioneers in the United States, an all-time peak. That is 5,190 more than there were in February 1973! A 34-percent increase! Does that not warm our hearts? Reports are heard of brothers selling their homes and property and planning to finish out the rest of their days in this old system in the pioneer service. Certainly this is a fine way to spend the short time remaining before the wicked world’s end.—1 John 2:17.”

What, you sold your house. quit your job, sold your stocks, quit college? Hey, who told you to do that?

I mean, it was always “around the corner”, “very close”, imminent. Except it never happened.

The point is made in the above article by Jeffrey Case, a spokesman for the Jehovah’s Witnesses. He  said the wars, rampant crime and massive hunger occurring worldwide are all signs of the apocalypse predicted in the Bible.

“Those are all things that we see in the news all the time,” Case said.

I got news for you and your loony cohorts Jeff, these are things that have happened since the beginning of man and will continue to happen. Oh, yea the Bible says that scoffers will say that these things have always occurred and will continue to occur. The kicker is, that’s true.

What a great point to build a religion around. The world is full of violence. No shit. And then your “Holy Book” conveniently says that scoffers will point out that the world has been this way since the beginning of man, thus giving credence to your claim that this violence and wickedness, which has always occurred is proof that the “end is near”.

The only problem for Jo Ho’s is that it never seems to come. They’ve been wrong so many, times they dare not utter another prediction. They are presently, “dateless”. And, by the way, their membership retention is dwindling. Without a date, it’s hard to create that sense of urgency. Without the urgency hook, it becomes harder and harder for people to keep believing your bullshit.

There is one thing for the Jo Ho’s to look forward to. There is likely to be some sort of World catastrophe i.e., nuclear, famine, disease, world war. It’s pretty easy to see that possibility.

However, I doubt seriously that “ONLY Jehovah’s Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the “great crowd,” as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil.” Regardless of in what form the “end of this doomed system”.

I see vultures picking the eyes out of dead Jo Ho’s. I can’t wait.

The Religious Bullshit Continues

Anti-Islam Sign On Display Outside Fla. Church

Posted: 7:22 am EDT July 9, 2009Updated: 12:02 pm EDT July 9, 2009

GAINSEVILLE, Fla. — A Gainesville Florida church has a shocking anti-Islam sign on its front lawn and says it is going to put up more.

 The sign at the Dove World Outreach Center reads “Islam of the devil.”

 ”We just use Islam because, at this time, they are making great in-roads into America and they’re trying to present themselves as a religion of peace,” said Dr. Terry Jones, Dove World Outreach Center.

Sixteen-year-old Gaby Alim, who is lives in the area, is Muslim. She says she feels hurt by the statement, but more so wants to know why the Dove World Outreach Center posted it.

“I think it’s all stereotypical about the whole Iraq war. People think all Muslims are like that and we’re not,” said 16-year-old Gaby Alim, Muslim resident.

 University of Florida Professor David Hackett says that people become very emotional when it comes to religion. “There are tendencies through all religions to think that theirs is the right one and the other ones are wrong,” he said.

 The city’s code enforcement has been out to look at the sign and say the case is under investigation. According to the municipal ordinance 30-317, temporary signs with no commercial message are permitted.

 Someone tried to spray paint over the sign, but the church quickly fixed it. For now, the sign stays and Dr. Jones says they plan to add more.

________________________________________________________________________________

 Where to begin?

 How about this genius quote:

 “University of Florida Professor David Hackett says that people become very emotional when it comes to religion.”There are tendencies through all religions to think that theirs is the right one and the other ones are wrong,” he said.”

No shit, Sherlock. Wow what a revelation! Religions are intolerant, incite emotion and think all other religions are wrong!! Say it ain’t so.

What’s with that statement from Captain Obvious, the revealer of astounding facts, Professor David Hackett?  What a great observation from the esteemed professor. Duh. Do we actually pay this guy to teach our kids?

Guess what else, Prof. The sky is blue, water is wet and you’re an idiot.

As for the sign, what do you expect from religious assholes? Do you see any great hue and cry from the Christian community in general? Except for the token bullshit from the random Christian, not a whole lot. Again, what do you expect?

There are moderates and radicals in all religions. The moderates who, may express verbally some wimper of objection to this sort of thing, really empower the radicals. How so? Because we all know that virtually all Christians think Islam is of the Devil.

Islam thinks Christianity is of the Devil. Hindus think Islam is of the Devil. Islam thinks every non Muslim is of the Devil. Religions think Atheists are of the Devil.

But the question for Christians is what is the Devil “of” or from? Didn’t the God of the Bible create the Devil? So, logically the Devil is from God.

“Oh. No. God may have created him, but He went bad. He was a good angel and now he is a bad angel”

In what universe does that notion make any sense? The Christian God created the Devil and now everything bad is from the devil? What is the hell is the purpose and meaning of all this? What is the purpose of this whole exercise? Why does it not make any sense? Do any hot chicks go to the Dove World Outreach Center? These questions demand answers!

Is Islam from the Devil? Hell if I know. They are some crazy ass dudes, but from the Devil? Who knows?

Do you think Dr. Terry Jones, Dove World Outreach Center, super Christian asshole, ever gives any thought to who created the Devil?

Hey asshole, your Bible says your God created the Devil.

You could go crazy with this religious shit. I mean you could get crazy enough to put up shit head signs, kill abortion doctor, become a suicide bomber.

Ya’ think? How come Professor Obvious, David Hackett didn’t pontificate on that?  Hey Dave, here’s an idea for your next informative lecture: “Religion makes people act crazy! ”

Charlie Brown Says It All.

Sorry, Guys. I can only take bullshit from Jehovah’s Witnesses for so long.

oh God...the Watchtower...door knocking...going to boring meetings...

Meet the ‘Naked Angels’ of Zhombe. Really, this is some crazy ass stuff.

From an Article from the Zimbabwe Gaurdian, by Isdore Guvamombe

 Sun, 19 Jul 2009 10:57:00 +0000

http://www.talkzimbabwe.com/news/117/ARTICLE/5094/2009-07-19.html

THEY grew up like ordinary village girls in a respectable and morally-upright family, with aspirations to achieve the best in life.

Their father’s job as a school headmaster married to a devout Christian helped mould the young girls into the envy of the village.

For them, the sky was the limit.Like other children blessed with intelligence, the girls proceeded to Advanced Level and completed courses in nursing and business administration thereafter, a feat a few girls of their time could only dream of.

But today, the twins have fallen from grace. They are now causing sleepless nights for their parents, community and have set tongues wagging nationwide.

Now in their mid-40s, the heavily built women arepacing  up and down the village, donning nothing but their undergarments before youths the same age as their own children and elders, including their 81-year-old father and mother (77).

They call themselves “angels” and at times behave like King David and King Solomon reincarnated.

Imagine full-grown women pacing up and down your home clad in only panties and you are their father, mother, sister, brother or, worse still, one of them is your mother?

It is bizarre, taboo and unthinkable, but fanatic religious female twins Patience and Memory Ncube of Zhombe communal lands have left the nation shell-shocked by walking around their home clad in panties, claiming religious purity from a cult seeking to relive the biblical Garden of Eden.

For the past three months, day in day out, the twins have been wandering around their parents’ home, semi-naked and have been working like Trojan horses, planting trees, cultivating a garden and cleaning up every corner to turn their home into their dreamland — a modern-day Garden of Eden.

The 45-year-old twins deserted their spouses, children and employment after a “calling to serve God” and are now members of a cult that split from the Seventh-Day Adventist Church in 2004, calling itself the Davidic Kingdom of Heaven.

They say they are now waiting for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, who should find them in the “right place”.

Since the cult encourages cleanliness and hard work, the twins sleep at most three hours every night, spending the rest of the time working in their garden, fetching water and cleaning the yard, intermittently singing melodiously and dancing into their dreamland of Eden.

As they perform their various domestic chores, the twin sisters also carry bags of sand and stone and five-litre containers filled with soil to “demonstrate their strength and resilience, as it is considered mandatory by our church”.

Not surprisingly, their shoulders are now heavily scarred from carrying the heavy loads.

Patience and Memory are not ordinary village women; they are professionals who sacrificed their jobs to serve God. Born to headmaster Mr Regis Ncube and his wife Aidah, the twins attended Regina Mundi Secondary School in Gweru up to A-Level.

Patience is a State registered nurse who left Zimbabwe in the late 1990s to further her studies in the United Kingdom, but returned home in 2004 after the “calling” to serve God.

She was married to one Crispen Hama with whom she had three children who are now in primary school in Kwekwe.

Memory holds a Diploma in Business Administration and worked for Bulawayo City Council as an administrative clerk before resigning “after the calling”. She never married but has a school-going child.

The twins’ siblings — two brothers and five sisters — are currently living in the UK.

“We are strictly following heavenly scriptures and have nothing to do with earthly things. We have no surnames because in the Bible everyone was called by his or her first name. This is a serious calling to the work of God. We live like Adam and Eve did. Any man who feels lust for us because of our semi-nakedness is evil. We seek holiness. Our father and mother have accepted us as we are and we are very normal people. When Jesus comes, some of you will be found on the wrong side,” said Patience.

Asked about their semi-nakedness, they quoted the Bible to stress that the world will revert to the Old Testament when Jesus eventually comes.

______________________________________________________________________________________

The article goes on about some other Bible bullshit, the father getting excommunicated from some piece of shit Church, blah, blah, blah.

I find this article interesting because it shows Bible support for female nudity, which I wholeheartedly support…with some reservations. For example have you ever been to a “nude beach”? You’re thinking, play boy bunnies playing volleyball naked, right?

The reality is that, when you get there you come to the sudden and inescapable conclusion that you, in fact do not want to see 98% of the population naked. There was a 50 plus year old fat guy, covered with grey hair, who’s pot belly was so big, I‘m sure he hadn’t seen his dick in 20 years. Well, we saw it and the sight of him naked has replaced Viet Nam in my nightmares. There was this guy who was 400 pounds and lost 225. So, now weighing 175 someone asked how it felt.

He said “There is a good and bad thing about loosing all this weight. The good thing is I can see my dick. The bad thing is I can see my dick. 

There was this skinny women, at least 60, who’s tits were so elongated, she could sling them over her shoulder.

There were assorted other shapes, sizes and distorted other naked human bodies which I personally could have lived my entire life without seeing. There was maybe one or two do-able chicks and the hottest one had her bottoms on. She had a decent rack, but the trip to the nude beach was basically a disappointment. We left when the 60 year old flapper was coming toward us with this grin, no doubt anticipating seeing three college kids getting naked. Hate to disappoint you, flappy, we were out of there.

Well, these two chicks fit the 98% rule. Check it out:

 

 

Personally, I like black chicks. Say Beyonce ain’t smokin’!! But these two are simply butt ass ugly. Their names are Patience and Memory, which goes to show you stripper names are the same the world over.

But apparently naked chicks are OK with God and Jesus. Hey, if women were naked in church, I’d even start going.

All seriousness aside, this is more proof of crazy ass religious bullshit. What would you call it!

“Oh, my church/religion doesn’t teach this!!” No, instead yours teaches that a virgin had a baby, God is three people in one, God walked the earth and raise the dead and let men kill him in a most painful way, somehow proving his love for us.

“Hey, look at me! I’m stabbing myself in the eye with a pencil! Don’t ya’ see! I love you guys!

“No more beer for you dude. Yea we see ya’. You can get down from the cross now. Hey, anybody knows where this guy lives?”

“But the son of man has no where to lay his head”. Great. A drunk homesless guy.

Or if you blow yourself up, killing innocent people, you go the heaven and God gives you 70 virgins to fuck at your pleasure. If there was a shread of proof of that, I would blow my ass up,  like right now. However, the whole thing lacks at least my minimun standard for creability. Besides, you have to wonder what in the world those many sets of 70 virgins did to deserve spending eternity fucking some flea bitten grease ball. Their offense was obviously not sexual. Maybe they are all axe murderers. That would be interesting and fitting.

But the naked black chicks are bizarre and “wrong because your church doesn’t teach it!”

Well, fuck you. I guess we all have to adhere to your bizarre beliefs. Do us all a favor and strap a bomb to your sorry ass.

Sex, Marriage and God’s Paradox

From an Associated Press article:

Wait for sex … and marriage? Evangelicals dubious of abstinence promote marrying earlier

 

By ERIC GORSKI
AP Religion Writer

 

When Margie and Stephen Zumbrun were battling the urge to have premarital sex, a pastor counseled them to control themselves. The couple signed a purity covenant.

Then, when the two got engaged and Margie went wedding dress shopping, a salesperson called her “the bride who looks like she’s 12.” Nonchurch friends said that, at 22, she was rushing things.

The agonizing message to a young Christian couple in love: Sex can wait, but so can marriage.

“It’s unreasonable to say, ‘Don’t do anything … and wait until you have degrees and you’re in your 30s to get married,’” said Margie Zumbrun, who did wait for sex, and married Stephen fresh out of Purdue University. “I think that’s just inviting people to have sex and feel like they’re bad people for doing it.”

Against that backdrop, a number of evangelicals are promoting marrying earlier, nudging young adults toward the altar even as many of their peers and parents are holding them back.

Couples like the Zumbruns are caught between two powerful forces – evangelical Christianity’s abstinence culture, with its chastity balls and virginity pledges, and societal forces pushing average marriage ages deeper into the 20s.

—

The median age for first marriages in the U.S. is about 26 for women and 28 for men, the highest figures since the Census Bureau began counting. Solid data on evangelicals is not readily available, but research suggests they marry only slightly younger, Regnerus said.

—

Among evangelicals, there’s a tendency to wait because many believe God “is going to deliver me a spouse right to my door,” so they don’t actively seek one, said Glenn Stanton, director of family formation studies for the evangelical ministry Focus on the Family, a young marriage promoter.

Then there’s what Stanton calls the “eHarmony philosophy” – the belief God will deliver someone perfect.

Stanton doesn’t blame the abstinence movement. “I don’t think that it’s so much to much focus on abstinence, but the silence on marriage makes the abstinence message sound so much louder,” he said.

At Capitol Hill Baptist Church in Washington, D.C., associate pastor Michael Lawrence emphasizes that marriage is a covenant, not a convenient arrangement, and offers advice to young couples on overcoming arguments over money, sex and family.

“We probably haven’t served our young people well by on the one hand emphasizing abstinence, but on the other hand telling them to wait to get married,” Lawrence said. “It seems to be setting them up to fail.”

The above are some quotes from the article, but you get the general idea. You can read the entire article here:

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_REL_MARRYING_YOUNG?SITE=KTVB&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

 

 

I personally think that sex is not to be treated lightly.

“Oh, look! A non- religious person with “morals”! How can that be, without “God” to guide him” or my favorite: “God is at work in you! You have morals and you don’t realize that God put them in your heart”

Well, in a figurative sense, fuck you. I swear, but that doesn’t mean I take sex lightly. I don’t. You can’t get much more intimate with a person than having sex. That’s about as far as you can go. My problem is that I don’t feel that sex should be casual and I do feel that it should be accompanied by love.

This has not always been my policy and as a young man, I had many sexual exploits. But after the hormone explosion that is the teenagers/young adult’s gift or curse, I have realized that I respect woman and myself and I don’t take sex lightly. Casual, meaningless sex actually disgusts me. The way sex is treated in the entertainment media is disgraceful, IMHO.

But, let’s be realistic. Having been raised a Jehovah’s Witness, I was subject to the “no sex before marriage” rule. In my teens, I had not planned to remain a Jo Ho when I left the house. So, I led the proverbial Jo Ho “double life”. Sex, drugs, (just weed and the occasional hash hit) and rock and roll when out of my parents sight, quickly reverting to my alter ego, the “goodie two shoes” Jo Ho when necessary.

Something happened to me around age 19. I suddenly decided to stay a Jo Ho and I indeed changed my ways and became a devoted Jo Ho, even being appointed a Ministerial Servant (Deacon) at 20. Well, I was one horny little Jo Ho. No sex before marriage drives young Jo Ho’s and other fundamentalist Christians to early marriage. It wasn’t  long before I was married. She was 18.

I knew it was a fucking disaster from Day Two. We had spent our wedding night fucking our brains out and it was about a 5 to 6 hour drive to where we were going to spend our Honeymoon. It was about noon, during that drive, when I thought to myself, “What the fuck have you done???”

Now, our marriage proved to be less than perfect. In fact, it was less than OK. Alright, it sucked. But, she was and still is a very nice person. I know a lot of nice women I would not want to be married to. Still, because of family and religious pressure I stayed married to her and actually had kids.

Why did I marry her? I was horny and she had nice tits. That’s about it. The point here is that I have seen and continue to see Jo Ho children, as young as 16 getting married. Three things happen:

1 – They live happily ever after. Not usually.

2 – They live un-happily ever after.  This is what usually happens to Jo Ho’s who marry to young. They may or may not have kids but they stay married and go through the motions, as they fear being disfellowshipped  (excommunicated) and thus being  shunned by Jo Ho friends and family.

3 – One or both cheats on the other and the marriage dissolves.

Oh, there are many shades and combinations of #2 and #3, but the bottom line is that the majority of these people are unhappy, feel there is no acceptable way out so they suffer, often for years, in silence. I lived that, pretending to be happy. Well, hypocrisy is hard work. Finally, I simply had enough and at 50 years of age, left my wife and the Witnesses. Actually, she left me. She moved out. When we were together, there was no misinterpreting my distain for her. I belittled her, complained about her. I guess I emotionally abused her. I didn’t love her, hadn’t for many years and in fact doubt that I ever did. It’s hard not to show your true feelings when you live with someone.

Is religion to blame, more precisely in my case, Jehovah’s Witnesses?

I can’t answer that. I can say that the usual unintended consequence of the “no sex before marriage” rule is kids marrying kids, having kids and being miserable.

In this case the Jo Ho’s don’t recommend early marriage, but do nothing to stop it. They say that one should marry after the bloom of youth, late 20’s or so, but few follow that advice. But, if you marry at 16 and fuck up at 18, they will disfellowship you with a vengeance!

“You satanic pervert! Be gone with you!”

The “no sex before marriage” is just another paradox that religion tries, most unsuccessfully, to deal with. It brings in the question of God’s motivation. He gives you this desire that makes you crazy, parades these pert, supple, tight assed nymphets in front of you, makes it peak in adolescence and then tells you that you can’t satisfy that desire unless you promise to spend the rest of your life with the woman of your choice.

In fact the Bible gives this sage advice, in 1 Corinthians 7: 8 + 9

⁸ Now I say to the unmarried persons and the widows, it is well for them that they remain even as I am. ⁹ But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to be inflamed [with passion]. (NWT)

Oh yea, like most people have “self control”. I wonder if the Apostle Paul masturbated? I bet he did. Oh yea, that’s self abuse and you can’t do that either. If it wasn’t for wet dreams, you’d have sperm squirting out your ears.

At any rate, God allegedly makes our sexual drive peak at an age when we would be the least capable of making a logical choice for a marriage partner.  If we peaked at 30, wouldn’t that make more sense? Statistically, we’d make much better choices.

And religion does not see a problem with this? They faithfully carry the flag for God, fighting an uphill battle and losing.

How exactly does this make the Bible your “blueprint for life”?

Are Jehovah’s Witnesses Preparing the Membership for a New Date for Armageddon? Part 1

At the end of my commentary, I have put the complete Watchtower article I quote in this post.

 Having been wrong at least 6 times in the 20^th Century, so far in the 21^st The Watchtower Society has been silent on any new predictions for Armageddon. So, the Witnesses remain “dateless”.

 But fear not. There are some indications that these lovable number benders are again concocting another stab at the date when God destroys all the non Jo Ho’s in global carnage.  Before we look at the latest bullshit from the Watchtower Society, let’s take look at the historical bullshit.

 The Watchtower Society predicted that Armageddon, the end of the world, where Jehovah kills all those on earth who are not Jehovah’s Witnesses:

 Watchtower, 9/1/89 page 19:

“ONLY Jehovah’s Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the “great crowd,” as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil.”

They said it would come, the so called “end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil”,  in 1914, before the end of the First World War, 1925, 1975, before the 1914 generation passed away and before the end of the 20^th Century.

Of course, unless I slept through it, I don’t think much of anything of the sort happened in the 20^th Century. Also, in 1995 the Watchtower Society changed the 1914 generation thing. So the generation was no longer relevant. Good thing, because at this writing in 2009, those folks would be 105 years old or so. Just for clarification, the Jo Ho’s defined that generation as those who were aware of the events of that year. They put that age of awareness at about 10 years old, making those people 105 in 2009.

Now, it looks like those loveable, crazy soothsayers and leaders of the deluded may, in fact be preparing the flock for another stab at predicting when Armageddon will come.

The Watchtower of 12/15/03, in the article entitled “Our Watchfulness Takes on Greater Urgency” seems to be making a parallel between the world in the days of Noah and the world today. Again, the article is reproduced in its entirety below, but I have summarized the main points.

From the article: “It is reasonable to assume that Jehovah feels about the present world as he felt about the pre-Flood world. Since he brought an end to the ungodly world of Noah’s day, he will certainly destroy the wicked world of today. Having a clear understanding of the parallel between that time and our day should fortify our conviction that the end of the present world is near. What, then, are the similarities? There are at least five.”

Here are those five similarities:

 1-      Warned of “Things Not Yet Beheld” – In a lame effort to validated their annoying door knocking work, they mention that those in Noah’s day were warned of the coming flood. Here’s a quote: “Just think what that meant for those then living! Only 120 years more and Jehovah would bring “the deluge of waters upon the earth to bring to ruin all flesh in which the force of life is active from under the heavens.” Gee, only 120 years? That hardly gives me time to finish my beer!

2-      Sexual Depravity Becomes Rampant  - Really? So why did God destroy Sodom and Gomorrah? Is sexual depravity anymore rampant today than at any time in history?

3-      Earth Becomes “Filled With Violence” – The world has been filled with violence throughout history.

4-      The Message Is Preached – Isn’t this the same as #1? Again, a lame effort to validated their annoying door knocking work. Also, all kinds of warnings, have been “preached” throughout the centuries. As with Jehovah’s Witnesses in the 20^th Century, all turned out to be bullshit.

5-      Only a Few Survive – Oh, yea. You remember that the Watchtower, 9/1/89 page 19 said that “ONLY Jehovah’s Witnesses” would survive Armageddon.

So, here we have it. Five similarities between Noah’s day and ours. Proving exactly what?

Well, here is my theory. The article asks “How do you view the worsening trend in human affairs?” You know that the Jo Ho’s are always crowing about how bad things are. They and they alone realize the significance of these “events”. The article continues: “The world’s influential and intellectual men do not discern the meaning of “the signs of the times”; neither have religious leaders given proper guidance in this matter.”

So they ask: “Hence, the question that we must reflect on is: ‘What will help us to strengthen our conviction that the end is near?”

They than outline the above five points , paralleling Noah’s day and ours.

Taking this article and what I know about Jo Ho’s, from being one for 50 years, it looks like the Watchtower Society Is prepping the Sheeple for a new date, new light. Notice again this quote: “Only 120 years more and Jehovah would bring “the deluge of waters upon the earth to bring to ruin all flesh in which the force of life is active from under the heavens.”—Genesis 6:17.”

Than this: “It is reasonable to assume that Jehovah feels about the present world as he felt about the pre-Flood world. Since he brought an end to the ungodly world of Noah’s day, he will certainly destroy the wicked world of today. Having a clear understanding of the parallel between that time and our day should fortify our conviction that the end of the present world is near. What, then, are the similarities?” Than the five “similarities.

Leading to what conclusion? Again from the article: “When God’s Messianic Kingdom was established in heaven in 1914, the enthroned King, Jesus Christ, took epoch-making action. Satan the Devil and his demons were ousted from heaven to the vicinity of the earth.”

So, here’s my guess. The Jo Ho’s are beginning to link the year 1914 with the 120 years it took Noah to build the Ark. So, I’m guessing that soon, they will predict the year 2034, or 120 years after 1914 as the year when Armageddon will come….or it will come before that year…or some other bullshit they make up.

Soon, the little Jo Ho’s will be reading stuff like the following:

“Shortly, within our twentieth century, the “battle in the day of Jehovah” will begin against the modern antitype of Jerusalem, Christendom.” From: The Nations Shall Know That I Am Jehovah – How? 1971 p. 216.

And they’ll suck it up, as always. Good little Jo Ho’s. Don’t worry guys, if it does not end in 2034, the odds are in your favor. The world can’t last forever. The Watchtower is bound to be right sooner or later.

__________________________________________________________________

The Watchtower article:

“Our Watchfulness Takes on Greater Urgency” from The Watchtower of 12/15/03

“Keep on the watch, therefore, because you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.”—MATTHEW 24:42.

“ABOVE all other things, the twentieth century was shaped by war,” says author Bill Emmott. While admitting that all periods of human history have felt the weight of wars and violence, he adds: “The twentieth century did not differ in kind, it differed in degree. It was the first century to feature a truly world-spanning conflict . . . And, as if to emphasize the point, it featured not just one such worldwide conflict, but two.”

² Wars that involve ‘nation against nation and kingdom against kingdom’ were foretold by Jesus Christ. However, they are just one aspect of ‘the sign of Christ’s presence and of the conclusion of the system of things.’ In this great prophecy, Jesus also mentioned famines, pestilences, and earthquakes. (Matthew 24:3, 7, 8; Luke 21:6, 7, 10, 11) In many respects, such calamities have increased in scope and severity. The badness of man is abundant, as seen in his attitude toward God and fellowman. Moral breakdown and increase in crime and violence are evident. Men have become lovers of money rather than lovers of God, obsessed with pleasure. All this testifies that we are living in “critical times.”—2 Timothy 3:1-5.

³ How do you view the worsening trend in human affairs? Many are indifferent, even callous, to distressing events of the day. The world’s influential and intellectual men do not discern the meaning of “the signs of the times”; neither have religious leaders given proper guidance in this matter. (Matthew 16:1-3) But Jesus admonished his followers: “Keep on the watch, therefore, because you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.” (Matthew 24:42) Jesus here encourages us not only to be watchful but to “keep on the watch.” To keep on the watch, we must remain alert and vigilant. This requires more than simply acknowledging that we are living in the last days, more than recognizing that times are hard. We must have firm conviction that “the end of all things has drawn close.” (1 Peter 4:7) Only then will our watchfulness take on a sense of urgency. Hence, the question that we must reflect on is: ‘What will help us to strengthen our conviction that the end is near?’

⁴ Consider the conditions prevailing during the time preceding a one-of-a-kind event in human history—the great Deluge of Noah’s day. People were so bad that Jehovah “felt hurt at his heart.” He declared: “I am going to wipe men whom I have created off the surface of the ground.” (Genesis 6:6, 7) And he did just that. Drawing a parallel between then and now, Jesus said: “Just as the days of Noah were, so the presence of the Son of man will be.”—Matthew 24:37.

⁵ It is reasonable to assume that Jehovah feels about the present world as he felt about the pre-Flood world. Since he brought an end to the ungodly world of Noah’s day, he will certainly destroy the wicked world of today. Having a clear understanding of the parallel between that time and our day should fortify our conviction that the end of the present world is near. What, then, are the similarities? There are at least five. The first is that a warning of coming destruction is given in no uncertain terms.

 

 

 

Warned of “Things Not Yet Beheld”

⁶ In Noah’s day, Jehovah declared: “My spirit shall not act toward man indefinitely in that he is also flesh. Accordingly his days shall amount to a hundred and twenty years.” (Genesis 6:3) The issuance of this divine decree in 2490 B.C.E. marked the beginning of the end for that ungodly world. Just think what that meant for those then living! Only 120 years more and Jehovah would bring “the deluge of waters upon the earth to bring to ruin all flesh in which the force of life is active from under the heavens.”—Genesis 6:17.

⁷ Noah received the warning of the upcoming catastrophe decades in advance, and he wisely used the time to prepare for survival. “After being given divine warning of things not yet beheld,” says the apostle Paul, “[Noah] showed godly fear and constructed an ark for the saving of his household.” (Hebrews 11:7) What about us? Some 90 years have passed since the last days of this system of things began in 1914. We are certainly in “the time of the end.” (Daniel 12:4) How should we respond to warnings we have been given? “He that does the will of God remains forever,” states the Bible. (1 John 2:17) Now is therefore the time to do Jehovah’s will with a keen sense of urgency.

⁸ In modern times, sincere students of the Bible have learned from the inspired Scriptures that this system is doomed to destruction. Do we believe this? Notice what Jesus Christ clearly stated: “There will be great tribulation such as has not occurred since the world’s beginning until now, no, nor will occur again.” (Matthew 24:21) Jesus also said that he would come as God’s appointed Judge and would separate people as a shepherd separates sheep from goats. Those found unworthy would “depart into everlasting cutting-off, but the righteous ones into everlasting life.”—Matthew 25:31-33, 46.

⁹ Jehovah has kept these warnings in front of his people by means of timely reminders through the spiritual food provided by “the faithful and discreet slave.” (Matthew 24:45-47) Moreover, every nation, tribe, tongue, and people are called upon to “fear God and give him glory, because the hour of the judgment by him has arrived.” (Revelation 14:6, 7) An integral part of the Kingdom message preached earth wide by Jehovah’s Witnesses is the warning that God’s Kingdom will soon remove human rulership. (Daniel 2:44) This warning is not to be taken lightly. Almighty God always keeps his word. (Isaiah 55:10, 11) He did in Noah’s day, and he will in our day.—2 Peter 3:3-7.

Sexual Depravity Becomes Rampant

¹⁰ Our time corresponds to Noah’s day in another respect. Jehovah had commanded the first man and woman to “fill the earth” with their kind, using their God-given sexual powers honorably within the marriage arrangement. (Genesis 1:28) In Noah’s day, disobedient angels contaminated humanity with unnatural sex. They came down to earth, materialized bodies, and cohabited with beautiful women, producing offspring that were half human, half demon—the Nephilim. (Genesis 6:2, 4) The sin of these lustful angels is likened to the perversions of Sodom and Gomorrah. (Jude 6, 7) Consequently, sexual depravity was widespread in those days.

¹¹ What about the moral climate of today? In these final days, the lives of many revolve around sex. Paul graphically describes such ones as “having come to be past all moral sense”; many have given themselves over “to loose conduct to work uncleanness of every sort with greediness.” (Ephesians 4:19) Pornography, premarital sex, sexual abuse of children, and homosexuality are commonplace. Some are already “receiving in themselves the full recompense” in the form of sexually transmitted diseases, breakdown of family life, and other social ills.—Romans 1:26, 27.

¹² In Noah’s day, Jehovah sent the great Deluge and brought an end to that sex-crazed world. We must never lose sight of the fact that these days are truly just as the days of Noah were. The upcoming “great tribulation” will clear the earth of ‘fornicators, adulterers, men kept for unnatural purposes, and men who lie with men.’ (Matthew 24:21; 1 Corinthians 6:9, 10; Revelation 21:8) How urgent it is that we cultivate hatred for what is bad and stay clear of circumstances that could lead to immorality!—Psalm 97:10; 1 Corinthians 6:18.

Earth Becomes “Filled With Violence”

¹³ Pointing to yet another characteristic of Noah’s day, the Bible states: “The earth came to be ruined in the sight of the true God and the earth became filled with violence.” (Genesis 6:11) Violence was not actually new. Adam’s son Cain murdered his righteous brother. (Genesis 4:8) Reflecting the violent spirit of his day, Lamech composed a poem boasting about how he had killed a young man, allegedly in self-defense. (Genesis 4:23, 24) What was new in Noah’s day was the degree of violence. As disobedient angelic sons of God married women on earth and produced progeny—the Nephilim—violence increased to a level previously unknown. These violent giants were “the Fellers”—“those who cause others to fall down.” (Genesis 6:4, footnote) As a result, the earth was “full of violence.” (Genesis 6:13) Imagine the problems Noah must have faced bringing up his family in such an environment! Yet, Noah proved to be ‘righteous before Jehovah among that generation.’—Genesis 7:1.

¹⁴ Violence has been with mankind throughout the ages. But as was true in the days of Noah, our time has also witnessed it on an unprecedented scale. We regularly hear about domestic violence, acts of terrorism, campaigns of genocide, and mass killings by gunmen with little apparent motive. Add to all of this the bloodshed caused by wars. The earth has again become filled with violence. Why? What has contributed to the increase? The answer reveals another similarity to Noah’s day.

¹⁵ When God’s Messianic Kingdom was established in heaven in 1914, the enthroned King, Jesus Christ, took epoch-making action. Satan the Devil and his demons were ousted from heaven to the vicinity of the earth. (Revelation 12:9-12) Before the Flood, disobedient angels forsook their heavenly position voluntarily; in modern times, however, they were forcibly evicted. Furthermore, they now lack the ability to materialize human bodies on earth in order to enjoy illicit fleshly pleasures. So in frustration, anger, and fear of impending judgment, they influence men and organizations to perform inhuman acts of crime and violence of even greater magnitude than those of Noah’s day. Jehovah obliterated the pre-Flood world after disobedient angels and their offspring had filled it with badness. Make no mistake about it, he will not do any less in our day! (Psalm 37:10) However, those staying watchful today know that their deliverance is near.

The Message Is Preached

¹⁶ The fourth point of similarity between the present day and the pre-Flood world is seen in the work that Noah was commissioned to do. Noah constructed a huge ark. He was also “a preacher.” (2 Peter 2:5) What message did he preach? Noah’s preaching evidently included a call for repentance and a warning of coming destruction. Jesus said that the people of Noah’s day “took no note until the flood came and swept them all away.”—Matthew 24:38, 39.

¹⁷ Similarly, as Jehovah’s Witnesses diligently fulfill their commission to preach, the message of God’s Kingdom is being declared worldwide. In almost every part of the globe, people can hear and read the Kingdom message in their own language. The Watchtower magazine, announcing Jehovah’s Kingdom, has a circulation of over 25,000,000 and is printed in more than 140 languages. Indeed, the good news of God’s Kingdom is being preached “in all the inhabited earth for a witness to all the nations.” When that work is completed to God’s satisfaction, the end is certain to come.—Matthew 24:14.

¹⁸ Given the spiritual and moral bankruptcy of the days preceding the Flood, it is not hard to imagine how Noah’s family became the laughingstock of incredulous neighbors and the object of abuse and ridicule. The end did come though. Similarly, “ridiculers with their ridicule” abound in the last days. “Yet Jehovah’s day will come as a thief,” states the Bible. (2 Peter 3:3, 4, 10) Come it will at the appointed time. It will not be late. (Habakkuk 2:3) How wise we are to keep on the watch!

Only a Few Survive

¹⁹ The parallel between Noah’s day and our day does not end with the badness of the people and their destruction. As there were Flood survivors, so there will be those who survive the end of the present system of things. The Flood survivors were meek ones who did not live as the people in general did. They heeded the divine warning and kept separate from the wicked world of that time. “Noah found favor in the eyes of Jehovah,” states the Bible. “[Noah] proved himself faultless among his contemporaries.” (Genesis 6:8, 9) Out of all mankind, one family, “a few people, that is, eight souls, were carried safely through the water.” (1 Peter 3:20) And to them Jehovah God gave a mandate saying: “Be fruitful and become many and fill the earth.”—Genesis 9:1.

²⁰ God’s Word assures us that “a great crowd” will “come out of the great tribulation.” (Revelation 7:9, 14) How many will there be in the great crowd? Jesus himself said: “Narrow is the gate and cramped the road leading off into life, and few are the ones finding it.” (Matthew 7:13, 14) Compared to the billions living on earth now, the survivors of the upcoming great tribulation will be few. But they may well have a privilege similar to that given to the Flood survivors. The survivors may for a time be able to have offspring as a part of the new earthly society.—Isaiah 65:23.

“Keep on the Watch”

²¹ Although the Flood seems remote from our day, it clearly provides a warning that we must not ignore. (Romans 15:4) The similarities between Noah’s day and our day should make us increasingly aware of the significance of what is happening and alert us to the thieflike coming of Jesus to execute judgment upon the wicked.

²² Today, Jesus Christ is directing a tremendous spiritual building work. For the security and survival of true worshipers, an arklike spiritual paradise exists. (2 Corinthians 12:3, 4) To be preserved through the great tribulation, we must remain in that paradise. Surrounding the domain of the spiritual paradise is Satan’s world, ready to assimilate any who have become spiritually drowsy. It is imperative that we “keep on the watch” and prove ourselves ready for Jehovah’s day.—Matthew 24:42, 44.

Do You Recall?

• What admonition did Jesus give concerning his coming?

• With what does Jesus compare the time of his presence?

• In what ways are our times similar to the days of Noah?

• How should reflecting upon the similarities between Noah’s day and our day affect our sense of urgency?

[Study Questions]

1, 2. What shows that we are living in the conclusion of the present system of things?

 3. How should “the signs of the times” affect us?

4, 5. (a) What will strengthen our conviction that the end of this wicked system is near, and why? (b) What is one similarity between Noah’s day and the presence of the Son of man?

 6. What did Jehovah determine to do in Noah’s day?

 7. (a) What was Noah’s response to the warning about the Flood? (b) How should we respond to warnings about the end of this system?

8, 9. What warnings have been given in modern times, and how are these being declared?

10. What can be said about sexual depravity in Noah’s day?

11. What moral climate makes our time similar to the days of Noah?

12. Why should we cultivate hatred for what is bad?

13. In Noah’s day, why was the earth “filled with violence”?

14. How has the world today become “filled with violence”?

15. (a) What has contributed to the increase in violence in the last days? (b) Of what outcome can we be confident?

16, 17. What is the fourth similarity between the days of Noah and our day?

18. How does the response of many to our preaching activity compare with that of most people in Noah’s day?

19, 20. What parallel can we draw between the Flood and the destruction of the present system of things?

21, 22. (a) How has this consideration of the Flood account benefited you? (b) What is the yeartext for 2004, and why should we heed the advice it gives?

Jehovah’s Witnesses History of False Prophesies

My last post: “Are Jehovah’s Witnesses Preparing the membership for a New Date for Armageddon”, was actually part one of a two part article. I became so engrossed in several related subjects that I have not fully finished part two. I like to completely research my posts. Please do not hesitate to point out where I am factually wrong.

I have been getting a lot of emails about my book, (work in progress) and about people with similar experiences as I had, growing up Jo Ho. I spend many hours answering emails, which is great.

The entire point of this blog, my forthcoming book and all the other associated efforts on my part is this:

I don’t know and neither do you.

I cannot say who God is, what He/She/It/Them want from us, if the Bible or any “ Holy Books” are, in fact Holy, in that they are from “God”. I can say, with certainty that I have not yet seen an Organized Religion that in any way, shape or form can present a minute amount of evidence or facts that prove that it and it alone represents ”God”, all though they all arrogantly claim to.

100% of the religions I have researched hang themselves by their actions or teachings. In all fairness, obviously I don’t know it all. But I do know a lot simply because I read about stuff all the time. Maybe I haven’t found the “true religion” yet. However to date, in multiple ways Organized Religion continues to show its true colors by inciting violence and sowing seeds of hate against “non believers”, exploiting in many ways their “flock” and hypocritically claiming to represent the God of love while their actions are deceitful, injurious and manipulative.

If you feel compelled to tell me about how you found the “true religion”, tell me what it is in less than 25 words and I will do my own reserach. If I have questions, I email you. If you are a Jehovah’s Witness, go fuck yourself. I most likely know more about your religion than you do. My life experience has been as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

The Jo Ho’s are the master number and date benders, misquotes, distorters of fact and making wild and improvable claims and prophesies that never come true. For example the Watchtower Society prophesied that Armageddon would come at six separate and distinct time periods and they were wrong on all six predictions.

1914 – “In view of this strong Bible evidence concerning the Times of the Gentiles, we consider it an established truth that the final end of the kingdoms of this world, and the full establishment of the Kingdom of God, will be accomplished by the end of 1914.” (The Time is at Hand, 1902 edition, p. 99) Note: this same statement was contained in the 1908 edition of the same book.

End of WW1: “The present great war in Europe is the beginning of the Armageddon of the Scriptures (Revelation 19:16-20). It will eventuate in the complete overthrow of all the systems of error which have so long oppressed the people of God and deluded the world”. (Pastor Russell’s Sermons, 1915, p. 676) In the same year (1915),

1925 – “The period must end in 1925 . . . [This date] is definitely fixed in the Scriptures. Every thinking person can see that a great climax is at hand. The scriptures clearly indicate that the climax is the fall of Satan’s empire and the full establishment of the Messianic kingdom . . . Therefore, it can be confidently said at this time that millions now living will never die”. (Golden Age, January 4, 1922, p. 217)

1975 – Watchtower, October 15, 1969 pages 622 and 623:

“More recently earnest researchers of the Holy Bible have made a recheck of its chronology. According to their calculations the six millenniums of mankind’s life on earth would end in the mid-seventies…. Would not, then, the end of six millenniums of mankind’s laborious enslavement under Satan the Devil be the fitting time for Jehovah God to usher in a Sabbath millennium for all his human creatures? Yes, indeed! And his King Jesus Christ will be Lord of that Sabbath.”

Notice the use of the definite article “the”. It would be “the fitting time”, not “a fitting time” not “an appropriate time” but “THE FITTING TIME”, to the exclusion of all other times. “Yes, Indeed! And his King Jesus Christ will be Lord of that Sabbath”. Not “might be”, not “could be”, but “WILL BE”.

End of the 20th Century – Again in 1971, they said it would come in the 20th century: ”Shortly, within our twentieth century, the “battle in the day of Jehovah” will begin”. From: The Nations Shall Know That I Am Jehovah – How? 1971 p. 216”

Within the life span of the 1914 generation: Watchtower, 7/1/69 pg395:

“People who were only just old enough to understand what was happening to the world in 1914 are now approaching seventy years of age. Yes, the numbers of that generation are dwindling fast, but before they all pass away this system must meet its end in the war of Armageddon.”

None of the above happened and as of 1995, the above 1914 thing is wrong.

So, “God’s Exclusive Mouthpiece”, as they claim? What do you think?

Great Jehovah’s Witness Blog

This is a short post but I felt compelled to direct you all to this interesting blog.:

http://www.virushead.net/vhrandom/2009/08/01/roundup-of-jws-in-the-news

The guy posts some great references. I liked the book, “I’m Perfect, You’re Doomed, Tales from a Jehovah’s Witness upbringing.” I have not read it, but it is on my “to do” list. It looks good!

The part where the eight year old feels his Mother’s wrath brings back some of my childhood highlights with Elder Hitler and Frau Two Faced.

I actually knew a kid, about 3 or 4 years younger than me, who’s Jo Ho parents would lock him in a closet when he was bad or just when it suited them. How do I know? Well, I heard his father threaten him with being locked in the closet several times and at age 15 he beat the shit out of his mother when she tried to lock him up. 

He ran away and when he was caught, told the cops and the mother confessed. He was actually taken from his parents at a time when that was very rare. To be fair, other religious people mistreated their kids als0, but Jo Ho’s claim to be so different. They are all just lying ass hypocrites.

EDIT: The writer of this blog is not a guy, but in fact a pretty cute chick!! She is evidently a PHD and several other letter and number combinations. She has quite an entertaining presentation.

And yes, I am a sexist pig, who thinks with his dick and views all women as sex objects. Oh yea, and I like big tits.

Anyway, this fine educated young lady is a hoot! Read her stuff…..try not to picture her naked……

Jehovah’s Witnesses Apologize for 1975

To all those asshole Jehovah’s Witness 1975 deniers, here is the Watchtower “sort of” apologzing for the whole shit storm it caused:

The Watchtower 3/15/80, pg 17:

In modern times such eagerness, commendable in itself, has led to attempts at setting dates for the desired liberation from the suffering and troubles that are the lot of persons throughout the earth. With the appearance of the book Life Everlasting—in Freedom of the Sons of God, and its comments as to how appropriate it would be for the millennial reign of Christ to parallel the seventh millennium of man’s existence, considerable expectation was aroused regarding the year 1975. There were statements made then, and thereafter, stressing that this was only a possibility. Unfortunately, however, along with such cautionary information, there were other statements published that implied that such realization of hopes by that year was more of a probability than a mere possibility. It is to be regretted that these latter statements apparently overshadowed the cautionary ones and contributed to a buildup of the expectation already initiated.

 ”Oh, the Watchtower Society never said Armageddon was coming in 1975″ asshole Jo Ho’s will say. Than why do they above say:

 ”There were statements made then, and thereafter, stressing that this was only a possibility. Unfortunately, however, along with such cautionary information, there were other statements published that implied that such realization of hopes by that year was more of a probability than a mere possibility. It is to be regretted that these latter statements apparently overshadowed the cautionary ones and contributed to a buildup of the expectation already initiated.”

So, they published statements that implied that Armageddon coming in 1975 was more”of a probability than a mere possibility”.

Ya’ think?? This is what us hapless Jo Ho’s were being fed prior to 1975:

From “Our Kingdom Ministry”, May 1974, page 3:

“Yes, since the summer of 1973 there have been new peaks in pioneers every month. Now there are 20,394 regular and special pioneers in the United States, an all-time peak. That is 5,190 more than there were in February 1973! A 34-percent increase! Does that not warm our hearts? Reports are heard of brothers selling their homes and property and planning to finish out the rest of their days in this old system in the pioneer service. Certainly this is a fine way to spend the short time remaining before the wicked world’s end.—1 John 2:17.”

What, you sold your house. quit your job, sold your stocks, quit college? Hey, who told you to do that?

The Watchtower Society did! If you were a loyal Jo Ho and read this, under the circumstances,  what would you think? I was and what did I think???  I couldn’t wait for Jehovah to kill all you non believers in a display of righteous global carnage.

Also, we read this from the Witness book, “The Nations Shall Know That I Am Jehovah – How? “, 1971 p. 216:

JEHOVAH’S “SWORD” AGAINST “ALL THOSE OF FLESH”

Shortly, within our twentieth century, the “battle in the day of Jehovah” will begin against the modern antitype of Jerusalem, Christendom.”

Did I miss something? Isn’t the 20th Century over? Oops!! The Jo Ho’s are wrong again. 

And at age 18 I was reading this from the Awake, May 22, 1969 page 15:

“Therefore as a young person you will never fulfill any career that this system offers.”

Well, it’s 2009 assholes and I’m 58, I have a degree and I am wraping up my second career. So much for your predictions.

Jehovah’s Witnesses say “Don’t Blame God if We’re wrong”!!

To get the flavor of the point of this post, it would be helpful to read my post of 10/11/09, below.

From the Watchtower, 3/15/80, page 17:

⁶”In its issue of July 15, 1976, The Watchtower, commenting on the inadvisability of setting our sights on a certain date, stated: “If anyone has been disappointed through not following this line of thought, he should now concentrate on adjusting his viewpoint, seeing that it was not the word of God that failed or deceived him and brought disappointment, but that his own understanding was based on wrong premises.” In saying “anyone,” The Watchtower included all disappointed ones of Jehovah’s Witnesses, hence including persons having to do with the publication of the information that contributed to the buildup of hopes centered on that date.”

Basically, The Watchtower Society admittedly published many statements, pre 1975, that led it’s followers (I was one) to believe that Armageddon, or the destruction of everyone who is not a Jo Ho, by the Almighty God, would come in the year 1975. Again, see my post below, of 10/11/09.

Than the almighty purveyors of holy knowledge, soothsayers and predictors of false dates have the balls to print the statement above in the July, 1976 Watchtower: If you thought Armageddon was coming in 1975, you screwed yourself.

 It reminds me of this quote from Animal House, in 1978, by Otter: “Flounder, you can’t spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You fucked up – you trusted us!”

The Watchtower Society, to the membership: “And by the way asshole, the word of God didn’t fail, you did, you miserable puke, scum sucking pig, maggot. We’re the Mouthpiece of God. You must be the problem. Remember, your “own understanding was based on wrong premises.” Shit for brains! Hey, don’t forget to contribute”

Indeed it was. The understanding of the membership was based on the “wrong premises” that The Watchtower Society, conceived and published: Armageddon was coming in 1975. Further, the facts show that in the big picture, the “wrong premises” seems to believing anything the Watchtower Society says.

They said that Armageddon was coming at seven distinct years or time periods in the 20^th Century. It’s October 2009 and still nothing.

“Oh, it’s around the corner” the little deluded Jo Ho’s crow. I say, what the hell. Keep predicting the end of the world. You’re bound to be right sooner or later.

However, I would guess that how it ends will surprise the Watchtower Society as much as it does the rest of us unbelieving religious and/or unreligious swine.

Watchtower, 9/1/89 page 19:

“ONLY Jehovah’s Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the “great crowd,” as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil.”

So far, considering that the Jo Ho’s are wrong, at least 7 for 7, I wouldn’t count on their version of the end of the world being accurate either.

But, I bet that if it’s a nuke from Al-Qaida, a tsunami or an asteroid, the Watchtower Society will still spin it in their favor:

“Yea, well God revealed to us that it was going to be an Al-Qaida nuke. We knew it all the time”

If there is anyone left to listen to them.

More Insane Bible Bullshit

From a recent article “Conservatizing the Bible”, by Rod Dreher. The entire article is reprinted below as well as the link to the site.

 Apparently, some “eager young men at Conservapedia are p.o.’d that the Bible might be seen as too liberal. So they’ve come up with the Wiki-style Conservative Bible Project, to make sure the Lord doesn’t go all wobbly on us.”

 One particularly  loony quote from these guys site is “Liberal bias has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations”

What?? Am I missing something? Silly me I thought the Left and Liberals in general were not religious. I do not recall hearing of any liberal conspiracy to “liberally bias” the Bible. The Bible is already, in general far more conservative than liberal, in regards to abortion, a woman’s place in marriage, etc. In fact, many conservatives get their views from their religion and ultimately the Bible.

Also, as a side point, my view on liberals and religion may be wrong as I am a conservative Republican and I am in no way religious. I despise organized religion.

I guess what I’m saying is that this is a “non issue”.  These guys have way too much time on their hands.

I don’t believe that the Bible is from God or that Jesus was an historical figure, making me decidedly non Christian. So it doesn’t matter to me if they make the Bible a comic book. In fact, I believe someone already has. At any rate, here is more crazy Bible bullshit. It actually proves nothing except that people will devote a lot of time and effort to fix “problems” that do not exist.

Hey, assholes, get a real job!

__________________________________________________________________________

Here’s the whole article:

Conservatizing the Bible

The eager young men at Conservapedia are p.o.’d that the Bible might be seen as too liberal. So they’ve come up with the Wiki-style Conservative Bible Project, to make sure the Lord doesn’t go all wobbly on us. Excerpt:

As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:[1]

Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias

Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, “gender inclusive” language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity

Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[2]

Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[3] defective translations use the word “comrade” three times as often as “volunteer”; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as “word”, “peace”, and “miracle”

Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as “gamble” rather than “cast lots”;[4] using modern political terms, such as “register” rather than “enroll” for the census

Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.

Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story

Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels

Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities
Thus, a project has begun among members of Conservapedia to translate the Bible in accordance with these principles. The translated Bible can be found here.

“The liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio”? Hoo-wee! Elitists like to use words, and lots of ‘em! “Unnecessary ambiguities”? But how are you going to abide by the conservative mandate to avoid “dumbing down” Holy Writ while at the same time avoiding big words liberals use?

More seriously, the insane hubris of this really staggers the mind. These right-wing ideologues know better than the early church councils that canonized Scripture? They really think it’s wise to force the word of God to conform to a 21st-century American idea of what constitutes conservatism? These jokers don’t worship God. They worship ideology. As Mark Shea says:

Right wing dementia marches on apace. Some of this has a grain of sense to it, as ideological madness always does. For instance, the dumb attempts to feminize Scripture are pernicious and need to stop. But seriously: the story of the woman taken in adultery is “liberal”? Free market as Sacred tradition? Liberal wordiness?

You really need to read the whole Conservapedia entry to grasp how crazy this is. It’s like what you’d get if you crossed the Jesus Seminar with the College Republican chapter at a rural institution of Bible learnin’.

http://blog.beliefnet.com/crunchycon/2009/10/conservatizing-the-bible.html