Satans Sister may be living in Inglis…..

September 20, 2008

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, “Do you know who I am?”

—The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

—”Aren’t you afraid of me?” Satan asked.

—”Nope, sure ain’t.” said the man.

—”Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?” asked Satan.

—”Don’t doubt it for a minute,” returned the old man, in an even tone.

—”Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?” persisted Satan.

—”Yep,” was the calm reply.

—”And you ‘re still not afraid?” asked Satan.

—”Nope,” said the old man.

—Totally perplexed, Satan asked, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”

—The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for 48 years.”


Satan get’s kicked out of Inglis Florida. You have to read this crock of Shit!

September 15, 2008

Below is an article by Ben Montgomery,a St. Petersburg Times Staff Writer
From Sunday, September 14, 2008

Devil in details, but not in Inglis

(My comments below)

 On the eve of the election, a reporter and photographer set out for Washington, via America. We tell stories from seven towns, touching on seven issues from politics and real life.

INGLIS — When the ruckus was over, when the phones at Town Hall stopped ringing and the reporters went home and the ACLU called off its lawyers, Carolyn Risher, the mayor who banned Satan from this little town, felt like she had changed the world.

“It opened up people’s eyes, yes sir,” she says. “People finally saw that God belongs in everything.”

The letters came from Canada and Australia, from Texas, Alaska and Wisconsin, and they filled four three-ring binders and a decorative Santa Claus box in her office.

“Satan is alive and well,” wrote a woman from California.

“God bless you as you continue to rid your town of vice,” wrote a man from Georgia.

One man wished to move his Winnebago-based business from Nashville to Inglis, population 1,625.

“Each of my handtowels is 100% cotton, and stained with a mysterious shrouded image that may or may not be the face of Jesus,” he wrote. “Even if you are skepticalabout the controversial religious image, they’re still handsome towels and they will absorb perspiration. Everyone is a winner!”

All the mail was positive, the mayor says, save a single letter from an elderly woman who included a photo of her middle finger.

The response taught her, and a lot of people here, a lesson about the separation of church and state.

It’s a bad idea.

On Halloween 2001, a month and a half after Sept. 11, the mayor, who lived her whole life here, heard the voice of God on her way home from a weenie roast at church. She sat down at her kitchen table and put pen to paper.

Be it known from this day forward that Satan, ruler of darkness, giver of evil, destroyer of what is good and just, is not now, nor ever again will be, a part of this town of Inglis. Satan is hereby declared powerless, no longer ruling over, nor influencing, our citizens.

She planted the decree inside wooden posts at the town limits. Word spread like fire. The media descended. The Daily Showhad its fun. The ACLU threatened to sue, so Risher reimbursed the town for the stationery and moved the posts from public property to private.

Seven years later, it’s hard for residents to pinpoint whether the proclamation had any impact. Meth and crack still squeeze the addicts. You don’t have to look far to find the homeless and jobless.

“The town’s not changed at all,” says Terry Patterson, 36, pouring dollar drafts of Budweiser at a bar on U.S. 19. “They got rid of a few of the transients, but there’s still a lot of bad around here.”

Down the street, Osborn Barker, 43, waves at traffic from a corner. He’s running for Levy County property appraiser.

He remembers the proclamation. “We were proud of her,” he says.

The license plate on his Chevy pickup says, “Smile … JC Loves You,” planting him squarely in God’s party.

“Jesus Christ is every step I take,” he says. “He’s my campaign manager. He writes my speeches.”

He says he talks about his faith on the campaign trail, and it likely wins him some votes, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

“This area is very conservative,” he says. “It’s really the Bible belt. And people want to elect a person of faith.”

The wind is blowing hot and wet through the parking lot in front of Town Hall. Dark clouds creep across the distance as people gather for the mayor’s Sept. 11 memorial service.

“I prayed it wouldn’t rain on our ceremony,” Risher says.

Four Christian preachers are lined up to speak and pray, at a town-sanctioned event, a fusion of religion and government, and the mayor is not worried about what nonbelievers, or non-Christians, might think about that. America may struggle in presidential elections with how much faith to blend with its politics, but Americans do not.

“God gave us more power than he did Satan,” Risher says.

The preachers talk about God and country, and how Christians are locked in a battle between light and darkness, between America and al-Qaida, between Christians and Muslims.

“No matter how many peaceful Muslims there may be, they are no protection for us from the terrorist Muslim leaders and what they are fanatically bent on doing,” says Pastor Rick Moore, from the nearby Church of God, and the crowd responds with hollers.

“They’ll not rest until they’ve taken down the White House, and until they’ve taken Jerusalem back,” says Jeff Adams, from Jesus’ Ministries in Inglis. “If we don’t stand to defend that name of Jesus, we will fall.”

“We need to find some godly people that’s running for office and put them in there,” says Pastor Bobby Thompson, from First Baptist Church.

Lee Greenwood’s God Bless The USA spills from giant speakers as the people, all of them white and most of them Christian, raise their hands, church style, and sway. The mayor of Inglis stands behind the stage, smiling, and looks up at the storm clouds as they slide across the sky.

Ben Montgomery can be reached at bmontgomery@sptimes.com or (727) 893-8650.

_____________________________________________________________________

My headline pretty much sums up my feelings and my opinion.

Government Leaders, in the United States, a Country with perhaps the most comprehensive  and  best Constitution, the model that many other emerging Democracies use in crafting their own Democracy, simply spit on it, as it pleases them.

This marvelous document, the foundation of our democracy, specifically states, in Amendment One: 

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”

But, Her Honor, Carolyn Risher, the mayor who banned Satan from this little town claims she learned a lesson about the separation of church and state.

It’s a bad idea.

If Inglis, Florida was anything other than a piss hole in the snow, Risher’s actions might matter. But they don’t. I live in Florida. I’m a bit far from Inglis, but I assure you I have not seen a rush by other communities to adopt a law banning Satan.

“It opened up people’s eyes, yes sir,” she says. “People finally saw that God belongs in everything.”

Sorry, Mayor, I didn’t see that. I saw a religious fanatic use her position to shove her improvable ideas down everyone’s throat.”

I don’t think the number of responses is very significant.

I found the following two “interesting”:

From a guy with a Winnebago based business, in Nashville:

“Each of my hand towels is 100% cotton, and stained with a mysterious shrouded image that may or may not be the face of Jesus,” he wrote. “Even if you are skeptical about the controversial religious image, they’re still handsome towels and they will absorb perspiration. Everyone is a winner!”

What? I don’t see the connection. Stained hand towels with a “shrouded image that may or may not be the face of Jesus,”???   …and that means what? Some huckster trying to make a buck.

I can top the Jesus towels. I have recordings, by Elvis himself, made in Heaven after he died. And to prove their authenticity, they sound exactly like the ones he made here on earth when he was with us.

Of course my favorite quote is this “All the mail was positive, the mayor says, save a single letter from an elderly woman who included a photo of her middle finger.”

Go Granny, go!! That’s a hoot.

Notice Her Honor says “All the mail was positive” except for the elderly lady expressing her disapproval with the Mr. Digit Hand Puppet. When is the last time anyone who creates a controversy such as this got hundreds response, all positive but one? I’m sure she got a lot of negative responses. She got one from me today. better late than never. I guess, by her count that makes two.

I wonder if they will put up pictures of Satan on telephone poles or hang little plastic bags on everyone’s door handles, like they do with sexual predators.

“Hey, watch out for this guy! He’ll steal your soul!

Maybe Satan will put up pictures of the old lady flipping everyone off. But doesn’t Satan have civil rights? He ought to get a Lawyer.

 

But, IF you believed in Satan, and that he lived in Inglis, my guess is he hasn’t left at all judging from the results. You read what the one resident said about there being “a lot of bad” still there. 

Her Honor gets all these accolades from her fellow fanatics, but there is little evidence anything has changed. Leaving the most important question, unanswered: What was the point and what did it accomplish?