Mark Cummins, The Pastor of The First Baptist Church in Ocala, Florida Quits.

From the Ocala Star Banner, November 27, 2008:

Embattled minister quits post

http://www.ocala.com/article/20081127/ARTICLES/811271001

For more background, read my post “A Big Baptist Brawl in Florida!!!” on November 11th. But basically what happened is discontent with the new minister, Mark Cummins, erupted into a brawl and a shouting match during Sunday services on November 9th. I describe the scene in my Nov 11th post. It was not pretty.

As usual, in any controversy, no one has a clear picture of what happened, why or when. I think the “who” part is pretty clear. Pastor Mark got 6 associate Pastors fired and now, after stirring up all that shit is going to quit anyway….or is he??

This whole thing has split the church, which is no stranger to controversy as it recently split several years ago either over if “dwarf tossing ” was Christian or if they should rebuild their burned down church on the same property or buy a new, bigger piece of land and build a new and bigger church. I forget which but I think it was “where to build the new church” thing.

I think they still allow dwarf tossing, but just not in church. Bible scholars disagree on weather or not Jesus condoned or actually participated in dwarf tossing, but there is some compelling evidence he not only condoned it, but practiced it.

In Matthew 21:12 it says “Then Jesus went into the temple, threw out everyone who was selling and buying in the temple, and overturned the moneychangers’ tables and the chairs of those who sold doves.”

There were no doubt a number of dwarves that were “thrown” out by Jesus. Some Bible translations render the word here translated as “chairs” as “booster seat” and since children were not allowed in the temple, the logical conclusion would be that a number of the “thrown” out money changers were indeed short or dwarves.

There are other Bible accounts of “Dwarves” and Jesus. In Luke, Chapter 19:1 thru 4 it mentions one:

“And he entered and was passing through Jericho. And behold, a man called by name Zacchaeus; and he was a chief publican, and he was rich. And he sought to see Jesus who he was; and could not for the crowd, because he was little of stature (dwarf). And he ran on before, and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way.

The account shows how Jesus stayed at his house that night and after a few hits of sacramental wine, he and the Apostles tossed old Zacchaeus around until they all passed out.

So, while there is ample Biblical and historical evidence that “dwarf tossing” was indeed a practice of the early Christians and promoted by Christ himself, some modern day “Christians” think its wrong. These muddled brain, dip shits attempt to stop others from the legitimate practice of causing humiliation and pain to the weaker among us. Assholes.

But, hey Christians ignore other obvious Biblical facts. For example, a lot of “Christians” say it’s wrong to drink alcohol, even though Jesus himself is said in the Bible to have turned water into wine. Clearly, Jesus didn’t object to drinking alcohol.

“Oh, he didn’t make wine with alcohol. He made sweet wine, which is grape juice!” some namby-pamby, limp wristed Christian pussys will say, to which I reply, bullshit. Jesus was evidently a cool partier, who knew the difference between grape juice and wine. Some scholars say that the “wine” Jesus made was actually beer.

But when the candy ass, girly men, known collectively as the French got their turn at translating the Bible, they changed the beer to wine. Actually beer and wine are similar in that they are fermented plant stuff, beer being grain and “hops” (whatever the hell they are, but thank God for them) and wine being grapes.

So, the girly men, candy ass, French pussys changed “beer” to “wine” forever perverting Jesus words and giving us a whole different view of the Savior, from a beer drinking manly man to an effeminate, wine sipping, Brea nibbling, loving, kind, nice guy. Even faced with the account of JC kicking ass in the temple, throwing dwarves and all out on there ear, the Fench refused to change wine to beer.

Does kicking ass in the Temple sound like a wine drinker to you? So, afterwards, Jesus and the Apostles celebrated the temple ass whipping by hoisting a few Cabernet Sauvignons? Not hardly!

The sissy French also tried to change the Bible account that speaks of “manna” from heaven to “soufflés” from heaven but their plot was thwarted by the English, namely King James who told them to fuck off and wrote his own Bible, with absolutely no mention of “soufflés”. However, it is to be noted that he didn’t have the balls to change the wine thing back to the original “beer”. Asshole.

But, “what does this have to do with Pastor Mark and the First Baptist Church of Ocala, Florida” you might ask? Actually, nothing, but I never miss the opportunity to write about beer or piss on the French.

So, Mark is out…..or so it would seem. My sources tell me that the crafty old Marine has got a surprise for those dickheads who oppose him. A Marine doesn’t quit. It’s clearly a diversion.

Rumor has it that Mark has formed his loyalists into an elite fighting unit and is planning a frontal assault on the church, timed for exactly 20 minutes after the Sunday sermon begins, right when everyone is usually asleep.

He has been drilling them and drilling them hard in his secret base in the Ocala National Forest. There are numerous reports of gunfire, explosions and the hauntingly sound of hymns, late at night in one of the unexplored areas of the Forest.

Also, an assortment of people have been showing up at local hospitals with injuries that can only be explained by “intense military training”. Several elderly women have been admitted with injuries consistent with parachute jumping, although each insisted that there wounds were “knitting related”.

One old gentleman had swallowed his false teeth, which he claimed was caused by him being startled awake during an episode of “Dancing with the Stars”. However, doctors thought his condition was more consistent with hanging your head out the widow of a moving Humvee and smacking into a tree.

There was also a guy brought in with a bayonet stuck in his left ass cheek, but it was later determined that his wife did it when she found out he ate the last of the Cheeze Wiz.

These rumors have been taken seriously by the remaining Church members and they have erected barriers, dug tank traps and could be seen this week, fortifying their defensive positions.

When someone approached and asked what was going on,a stern looking guy in a green ball cap and mirrored sunglasses replied “landscaping”.

“That doesn’t look like landscaping to me” the curious passer by said, where upon he was tossed off the property and he wasn’t even a dwarf!

Something tells me that the conflict is not over between the Ocala Baptists and Pastor Mark. The situation is so serious that Dr. John Sullivan, a widely respected leader of the Florida Baptist Convention has agreed to mediate the dispute. Even with the threat of imminent military conflict, Sullivan still intends to visit the church on Sunday as planned.

Dr. Sullivan was unsuccessful in his last attempt to mediate differences between two Baptist Churches. You may recall the conflict in South Florida between The Hollywood First Baptist Church and the Gay Redeemer Baptist, of South Beach in Miami. The two congregations were at odds over the admission of gays to the Ministry and the disagreement erupted in to violence.

The Hollywood Baptists, en mass charged into the Gay Redeemer Church during services one Sunday, brandishing paint sprayers and spray painted everything and everyone pink.

A sobbing Pastor Hugh Jass, Pastor of GRB had to be taken to the hospital and sedated.

After the melee the membership decided that they liked everything pink, so they left it. Frustrated at their failed attempt to run the queer bastards out of town, the members of HFBC took a different tack and bought up the entire supply of Barbara Streisand, Village People and Queen CD’s in the area.

Unable to withstand what he called mean spirited, unchristian, cultural guerrilla warfare”, Pastor Jass and the other fags disbanded GRD. The guys at the HFBC celebrated by building a big bon fire and burning all that nauseating Streisand shit. They also reportedly tossed a few dwarves around.

“I swear” said one participant “you could see the image of Streisand, with horns screaming at us in the flames”

The situation in Ocala remains serious and many questions remain: Will Dr. Sullivan be able to stop full scale military action? Will Pastor Mark, the hard nose jarhead be able to whip his followers into an elite fighting force? Why didn’t the South Beach queers join the Methodists in the first place? They love fags.

Tense times in a tense little town in Florida.

Church Challenges It’s Married Parishioners To Have Sex 7 Days In A Row.

 

I was alerted to this story by a faithful reader, Don T. Cornholeme, Here’s the Story:

7 Days Of Sex Challenge

Layron Livingston, KLTV, Jacksonville, Florida

7 straight days of sex. That was the challenge Pastor Ed Young issued to all of the married couples at his Grapevine church. Too taboo, or right on time? Whatever your opinion, this conversation and tonight’s story is strictly for adults. KLTV 7’s Layron Livingston sat down with some local pastors to see if the message could make it’s way to your church’s pulpit.

“Everybody’s whining about the economy and about the world….let’s move from whining to whoopee!”

The message caught some members of Fellowship Church by surprise, and its perking the ears of East Texans.

“Between a married man and a married woman…the more, the better.”

Young says the challenge will help couples in his church focus on each other, reclaiming sex for married people.

“I think I’ll try it this evening!”

Reverend Jerome Milton says it’s about time.

“God’s Word has addressed it, we won’t preach it. This challenge sort of stirs all of us up to teach and to preach it, so that people can have a better understanding about it,” said Rev. Milton.

“And if we don’t address this, then I guarantee you, Desperate Housewives will!”

Minister Mark Edge says sex is in the Bible. So why not the church? In fact, he says last week’s sermon was about Christian sexuality.

“God’s Word is certainly not ashamed to talk about this. God’s Word understands. God understands that it is a very important part of our lives….we really should have been talking about this all along,” said Edge.

“I think the concept is awesome,”

Pastor Doug Clark agrees, but says it’s unrealistic to expect struggling relationships to simply get better with a week of sex. He says sex is more than just physical.

“There’s so much about connection, emotion stuff…there’s so much about value that’s being passed back and forth. If a wife doesn’t feel valued, or if a husband doesn’t feel love or respected, hey, there’s some issues that have to be dealt with,” said Clark.

Of course, you have to practice what you preach. Pastor Young says his membership includes him and his wife. They’ve also accepted the challenge.

Here’s the link.

http://www.kltv.com/global/story.asp?s=9366764

It’s about time church began to recognize and promote the importance of sex. The Bible does talk about it and it is one of my favorite past times, so I say go for it. But I think that Pastor Ed while meaning well, may have done more harm than good.

The Pastor leaves a lot of questions unanswered. Like what about gay couples and the unmarried, “undo-ables” in the flock? You know, the old skinny guy, with the wart on his chin whose breath smells like he’s been eating an ass sandwich? What of the frumpy, middle aged divorcee’ with three kids that no one would do on a bet? Or the old horny spinster? Can you have sex in the church balcony during the services without being seen? These are important questions that demand answers.

Actually, since I have no shame or taste, I do have some experience in doing an old horny spinster. I was 17 and I don’t know how old she was. She was borderline do-able, but she was kind enough to get me buzzed on peppermint schnapps first. When we got into bed, she asked me if I would mind if she called me Rupert.

I said I didn’t mind. “Is that the name of you’re late husband?” I asked.

“No” she replied, with a look of confusion, “Why would you think that?

Before I could reply, she was on me like stink on shit. Now, with this type of “woman”, you just have to be prepared for anything. In certain sexual encounters, having false teeth is a plus. However, not if they come out in your mouth, while kissing. For years after that I was obsessively compelled to check the teeth of every woman I dated.

While we were getting it one, she screamed out every name but Rupert. The names I recall were Sam, Orville, Percy, Woodrow, Elroy, Fritz, Mr. President, Nakita and Eleanor.

I was real curious about the last one and meant to ask about it, but I got distracted when she lost her false teeth again and we pulled the bed apart looking for them. She hopped out of bed and went into the bathroom to rinse them. That’s when I got a good look at her naked. It may not have been so bad, but the schnapps was wearing off, so in a moment that can only be described as panic coupled with an intense self loathing, I grabbed my clothes and bolted for the door.

I was constantly reminded about our encounter for a couple of weeks there after, by the smell of Ben-Gay and mothballs that had somehow, in that short time permeated my clothes and body. I threw away the clothes but no amount of showering seemed to diminish the smell. I felt like everywhere I went, when people got a sniff, they were thinking, “Dude did a spinster. What an asshole”.

Fortunately the smell went away before my “cleaning out the attic for my Mom” excuse ran out of steam.

But the real point here is, that Pastor Ed’s admonition to “have sex for 7 days”, may cause more harm than good.

 

Here’s Pastor Ed, giving his sermon and showing the congregation his dick, during the masturbation portion of the program.

Like I said, what about the unmarried and undo-ables? He has to get off this “sex/marriage” thing. I would form a committee and see if you could pair up the losers.

But I bet he created a real problem among the married couples too. Every married guy got a grin on his face, while every married woman was wishing the Pastor would shut the fuck up.

This scenario, no doubt repeated itself in many of the parishioners homes that evening:

“But, Charlotte, honey, you heard what the Pastor said!”

“Delroy, does the Pastor drink beer all afternoon on Sunday watching football in his underwear? I wouldn’t mind it so much if my parents weren’t here. Does the Pastor leave a partially disassembled automatic transmission from a 1971 Chevy on the kitchen table for months? Kind of puts a girl out of the mood”

“But Honey, it’s a classic!”

“Classic, my ass. Does the Pastor use his wife’s good china for skeet shooting?” Says Charlotte, hands on her hips.

“But Honey, you said the whole set was ruined after that cup broke, when I threw it at the dog”

“Do you ever buy me flowers? Do you ever take me out to dinner, and no I don’t count tailgating at a football game as being taken out to dinner. Do you ever say you love me?

Do you do show you care about me with anything a hug, a peck on the cheek or bathing more than once a week?” By now Charlotte’s lower lip is trembling and a tear runs down her cheek.

Delroy, “If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times, why bathe everyday, when you’re only going to get dirty again? And what does love, flowers and going out to dinner have to do with this? The Pastor said we should have sex. You don’t want to displease Jesus, Charlotte”

With that, Charlotte, winds up and with a perfectly executed side arm pitch hits old Delroy square in the forehead with a porcelain gravy boat, the only piece of her good set of china that survived Delroy’s drunken skeet shooting spree.

So there are and will be all kinds of unknown repercussions from Pastor Ed’s sex challenge. I don’t think he really thought this one through.

There will likely be an uptick in emergency room visits as the “Delroys” of the Church require medical attention from all sorts of spouse inflicted wounds and from wart faced guys with their dicks stuck in vacuum cleaners. Domestic violence complaints will go up, as will the sale of wart remover, Ben Gay and batteries.

There is one thing that won’t happen. In the words of Pastor Doug Clark “If a wife doesn’t feel valued, or if a husband doesn’t feel love or respected, hey, there’s some issues that have to be dealt with.” Does Doug actually live in the real world and know any real people?

Love, respect, valued?? This is when religion really fucks up. They pump people’s heads full of this type of shit.

Sex is about draining the lizard and getting a good nights sleep. In the immortal words of Delroy, “And what does love, flowers and going out to dinner have to do with this? The Pastor said we should have sex. You don’t want to displease Jesus, Charlotte”

I’m sure Jesus is shaking his head, wondering as always, why God even bothered to create humans in the first place.

You may think I’m making this up, but I’m pretty sure that my experience with the spinster became an actual episode of Desperate Housewives. Except they changed it a little with Teri Hatcher playing the spinster and Brad Pitt played me. I could tell that it was adapted from my story, as they had a neighbor, Ben, who was gay.

I know for sure that an episode of CSI Miami was an adaptation of my spinster story. They evidence that hung the guy was the moth ball and Ben Gay residue in his underwear.

“I guess you could say we got him by the balls…” says Horatio, dramatically putting on his sun glasses”….moth balls!”

More Bullshit from the Pope.

 

Here is the article By Flavia Krause-Jackson and Lorenzo Totaro, from Bloomberg:

Market Economy and Ethics

 

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/11/20/pope_prediction/

 

 

Pope Had `Prophecy’ of Market Collapse in 1985, Tremonti Says

Nov. 20 (Bloomberg) — Pope Benedict XVI was the first to predict the crisis in the global financial system, a “prophecy” dating to a paper he wrote when he was a cardinal, Italian Finance Minister Giulio Tremonti said.

 

“The prediction that an undisciplined economy would collapse by its own rules can be found” in an article written by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who became pope in April 2005, Tremonti said yesterday at Milan’s Cattolica University.

 

German-born Ratzinger in 1985 presented a paper entitled “Market Economy and Ethics” at a Rome event dedicated to the Church and the economy. The future pope said a decline in ethics “can actually cause the laws of the market to collapse.”

 

Pope Benedict in an Oct. 7 speech reflected on crashing markets and concluded that “money vanishes, it is nothing” and warned that “the only solid reality is the word of God.”

 

The Vatican’s official newspaper, l’Osservatore Romano, on the same day criticized the free-market model for having “grown too much and badly in the past two decades.”

 

 

The entire text of the Pope’s bullshit article can be found here:

 

http://www.acton.org/publications/occasionalpapers/publicat_occasionalpapers_ratzinger.php

 

I read this article several times and Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger (is Cardinal his middle name?), who is now Pope Benedict XVI, basically says an undisciplined economy would collapse by its own rules. No shit.

 

I saw nothing that would remotely indicate the Pope “prophesied” the present economic situation, but read it yourself.  I would say an undisciplined AND unregulated economy would collapse by its own rules. Is that a big revelation? Did God tell me that in a dream? No. It’s only common sense. As a Conservative, I advocate minimal governmental interference in the free market, but at times things really have to be regulated or people will be scammed.

 

The point is here that the Catholics, ever on the lookout for some shred of credibility, hail some statements as a “Prophesy” made by Grand Master P. predicting the economic crisis we have today.  Is there evidence of a divine prophesy in this article, from the Pope?

 

The Pope-a-Dope article speaks in very vague and general terms. It seems His real theme is that morality should be an integral part of the market, or the economy. Since that doesn’t happen, according to him in a free market, his article actually advocates a centralized market or Socialism.

 

 From the article:

 

“Following the tradition inaugurated by Adam Smith , this position holds that the market is incompatible with ethics because voluntary “moral” actions contradict market rules and drive the moralizing entrepreneur out of the game. For a long time, then, business ethics rang like hollow metal because the economy was held to work on efficiency and not on morality. The market’s inner logic should free us precisely from the necessity of having to depend on the morality of its participants. The true play of market laws best guarantees progress and even distributive justice.”

 

“Distributive justice”?? The Pope advocates Socialism, not a free market.

 

This is driven home when he advocates “a centralized economy, where the goal is equal rights for all and proportionate distribution of goods to all.”

 

Again with the socialism. Hey, look at the glowing record of Communist regimes and the huge 20^th Century experiment in socialism. They all went broke, you stupid shit.

 

So, Pope Benny, let’s look at the root of any economic system, human behavior. Say, a person is standing in front of a movie theater, looking at the marquis. What drives that person’s choice of movie he goes to see and thus spends his hard earned cash on?

 

What is his choice based on? What ever type of movie HE likes. Does he consider that all the people that made, distribute and were in anyway involved with the “Sex in the City” movie, have families, and need money for food, clothing, shelter and medical care? Do you ever think about that? Shit no.

 

Neither does He. He ain’t going to see no “Chick Flick”. He likes Sci Fi, action and adventure, sophomoric comedies. He is not about to go see a “Chick Flick”. He chooses “Batman” because HE wants to see “Batman”. It is a totally selfish decision, made without any thought of who may benefit or suffer from his decision.

 

What drives a person’s spending preferences? Concern for others? Shit no. You buy what you want. The free market works best when they give you what you want. Is morality an issue? Yes. A free market cannot exist without a, sort of “moral” underpinning.

 

Does the product do what they say and you expect it will? Is it of a quality you expect and are happy with? Is it priced competitively? Is the product harmful? Is it toxic (is it Chinese?). If it doesn’t meet your requirements, you won’t buy it and in a free market, someone else will fill your demand with what you want.  So, each company knows what standard they have to meet to sell their products.

 

The free market cannot be totally free. There are necessary health and safety standards, that are a pain in the ass and add to the price of a product, but they do protect the public. If they didn’t, by now the Chinese, those masters of quality, would have killed all our infants and pets. Minimal regulation is a must. Even a fee market advocate realizes that greed, unchecked, has the potential to ultimately cause great harm. So some sort of legislated “morality” is necessary. How much is debatable.

 

But “a centralized economy, where the goal is equal rights for all and proportionate distribution of goods to all”? Socialism, which destroys the entrepreneurial drive essential for progress? The basic premise is that if I am going to get the same amount of money as the guy who picks up my garbage, why should I go to engineering school, make the effort to be a doctor or try to start a new business that would be strangled by the government before it had a chance? I wouldn’t. No one would. The economy would stagnate. But it’s clear that socialism is advocated by the Pope and the Catholic Church.

 

But, don’t confuse us with fact. “He was the first to predict the crisis in the global financial system, a “prophecy” dating to a paper he wrote when he was a cardinal, Italian Finance Minister Guilio Tremonti said.”

 

Again, the Catholic Church is so desperate for any tangible evidence that proves its credibility that from this rambling almost incoherent document that deals far more with the idea of Socialism as being superior to a free market, they some how fabricate a “prophesy”.

 

The only thing that remotely talks about economic problems is this statement: “Conversely, it has also become obvious that the decline of such discipline can actually cause the laws of the market to collapse.” Ok, a decline in discipline can cause a free market to collapse. I don’t need God to tell me this.

 

This is not the first crises the free market has been in and it won’t be the last. The Pope wrote this shit ball socialistic article in 1985. We have had several stock market bubbles pop, Japan’s economy collapsed and has been dormant for years. The US has had several recessions and smaller real estate bubbles. Economies ebb and flow. The free market lives on. I don’t need God to reveal that to me either.

 

Funny, the Pope didn’t prophesy the down fall of the Soviet Union and the ultimate failure of the great Socialist experiment.  According to the article, he foresaw the “free market crises” while advocating Socialism and then just a few years later, the greatest Socialist market in history collapses.

 

We are to believe he was really talking about the current situation in his article, 23 years ago, ignoring all the crises weather they were in the free market or the socialistic world, which happened in the interim. Yea, right.

 

To wrap it up, the Catholics manufacture a Prophesy from an article the Pope wrote, 23 years ago, on the merits of Socialism over the free market. What a bunch of fucking morons.

 

No statements in the Pope’s article in any way shape of form can be interpreted as predicting the present economic situation. Hey, if you don’t have anything, make something up.

 

 

 

Michigan Minister Sent to Prison for Warning Judge He Could be Tortured by God

Associated Press, Wednesday, 11/12/2008

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,451086,00.html

DETROIT  —  The American Civil Liberties Union is taking up the case of a southwestern Michigan minister who was sent to prison for warning that a judge could be tortured by God.

The ACLU said it asked the state appeals court Wednesday to release the Rev. Edward Pinkney on bail while he appeals a probation violation. Lawyers claim his free-speech rights were trampled in Berrien County.

In 2007, Pinkney, 60, was convicted of paying people to vote in a Benton Harbor election.

Months later, he wrote an article in a Chicago newspaper, People’s Tribune, saying the judge who handled his case, Alfred Butzbaugh, could be punished by God with curses, fever and “extreme burning” unless he changed his ways.

In June 2008, another Berrien County judge, Dennis Wiley, sent Pinkney to prison for three to 10 years after finding that he had violated his probation by making a threat against the judge.

“Those are words that would … put the fear of God into anybody, as a threat that this could happen to them if they do not do what Mr. Pinkney wants him to do, whatever that might be,” Wiley said, according to a transcript.

“To our knowledge, this case marks the first time in modern history that a preacher has been imprisoned for predicting what God might do,” said Michael Steinberg, legal director for the ACLU in Michigan.

Pinkney is in a state prison in the Upper Peninsula, roughly 600 miles from his home. While incarcerated, he received 3,500 votes as the Green Party candidate for Congress in Michigan’s 6th District.

____________________

Can you go to prison for saying a judge has lost his mind?

That is not to say the Rev. Pinkney is not wrong, delusional and just fucking crazy as a loon. He was convicted of paying people to vote in a Benton Harbor election. Not to “Christian”.

Everything was OK, until Ole’ Pinky wrote that the Judge in his case, Alfred Butzbaugh, “could be punished by God with curses, fever and “extreme burning” unless he changed his ways”.

I mean, Pinky was on probation. What do you do when you’re on probation? Shut the fuck up!!

Again, a religious asshole threatens someone who interferes with his illegal activity with retribution from the Almighty. It’s like God is this guy’s hit man or something. What’s with the “curses, fever and “extreme burning”? Just ask God to kill the guy, although after R&R in Bangkok, I was pissing razor blades for a month. So I’m here to tell you “extreme burning” is a serious threat.

So another Judge throws the book at him and he’s in the Big House for three to ten. Who is the craziest, the religious asshole who uses God as a threat, or the Judge who takes him seriously?

There has to be more to this than a loony “threat”. I mean if he had made a voodoo doll of the Judge and tried to put a curse on him, would that still be considered a violation of probation?  How far do you want to take this? Pretty soon we’ll be putting five year olds in the slammer for calling some one a “pee pee head”. My kid almost got kicked out of Kindergarten for saying that….and peaking under the teacher’s skirt, which I defended as “boyish curiosity”. Christ, you would of thought he tied her down and did Her in front of the class, the way the bitch was acting.

I suppose I didn’t help matters much when I reminded her that irritability in middle aged women is often due to lack of sexual fulfillment. Hey, I thought I was helping.

Anyway, the ACLU sees “merit in this case” so you can bet it’s going to continue to be a circus.

Personally, they should throw Pinky and the ACLU in a deep hole and toss a little food in everyday, until the noise stops. Then, just file the hole. Or fill in the hole first. Who gives a shit.

The real scary thought is that Pinky was running for public office and actually got some votes. It just goes to prove my point. The problem with America today is that there are a lot of people should not be allowed to reproduce, vote or drive cars.

 

 

 

First Baptist Church, Ocala, Florida: “Are you ready to RRuummmbbbllee???

Hold the phone, the suspension is building. The mood is tense, every one is on edge asking the same question:

 

“Will there be another brawl at First Baptist, tomorrow?”

 

Buy your tickets now, they’re going fast! I understand they may have it on “Pay per View”.

 

The Vegas odds makers are two to one for former Jarhead, and thus far the victor, Pastor “fire them if they disagree!” Mark Cummins.  The opponents, the six fired Assistant Pastors, have dubbed themselves “The Dirty Half Dozen. It’s rumored that they have a sure fire strategy to defeat Cummins, involving a full frontal assault, up the middle with folding chairs, water balloons and rotten fruit. If you are in the front pews, just wear your rain gear.

 

No one two give up easily, reports say that the embattled Cummins has put tank traps in the parking lot and a mine field in front of the pulpit.

 

Katy bar the door, the fur was flying in the press this week. Seems Mr. Cummins has had a similar effect at every church he goes to, depending on who you believe. You either love him or you hate him, no middle ground.

 

He is described as “manipulative, dishonest and untrustworthy” while at the same time some call him “a man of great integrity and character”. Baptists, Christians disagreeing!! Shocking!!”

 

Who cares about all that bullshit. The point is, the guy seems to increase membership everywhere he goes, which increases revenues. He’s good for the bottom line, which is, of course…the bottom line. You can bet the Church will be busting at the seams this Sunday. Members will show up who only go on to church on Christmas and Easter, you know the type. They wear the biggest crosses and say “praise Jesus” even when you step on there foot. Even they wouldn’t miss this.

 

So when the pews overflow with members who would normally, at church time, have their tailgating party all set up, what does that tell you? Christians love a good fight.

 

So, Mr. Cummins succeeds in filling seats again and isn’t that the whole point?

 

“Oh, He’s bringing people to Christ!” Yea, but he forgot to tell you about the “contribution”.

 

You can bet the donation plates will be overflowing. Hey, who wouldn’t pay to see a good fight? The smart money is on Cummins.

 

Look for an update here next week, if anything good happens.

It’s “Slam the Baptists Week” here at ISNRBLOG

More Baptist Bullshit.

This was from an earlier post, but in light of the recent brawl at the First Baptist Church in Ocala, Florida it seems fitting:

On August 14, 2007 the “Americans United for Separation of Church and State” stated that the IRS Should Investigate Partisan Political Activity of a Southern Baptist Church in California.They allege that the Pastor of the First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park, Calif., may have violated federal tax law barring electioneering by non-profit groups.

In a complaint to the IRS, Americans United’s (Rev. Barry W.) Lynn said Dr. Wiley S. Drake, pastor of the First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park, issued a press release Aug. 11 endorsing Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. Apparently Mr. Drake used Church resources to endorse GOP hopeful Huckabee as God’s Candidate in Violation of Federal Tax Law, says the Church-State Watchdog Group. Drake’s press release was issued on church letterhead. He also endorsed Huckabee on a church-affiliated radio show and featured a Huckabee campaign official.Americans United’s Lynn says the church’s intervention in partisan politics merits an IRS investigation.

How did the very Christian, Pious and “holier than thou” Dr. Wiley react? According to Yahoo News, Wed Aug 15, 3:17 PM ET this is what happened. “Instead of responding to Americans United’s concern of illegal activity, Drake issued yesterday afternoon a plea to his supporters to join in “imprecatory prayers” (curses) every morning for Americans United and its staff. ”The Rev. Barry W. Lynn, Americans United executive director, said it is telling that Drake declined to respond to his group’s charges of tax law violations.

“Instead of addressing our concerns of illegally melding religion and partisan politics, Dr. Drake has launched an outlandish attack on us,” said Lynn. “Calling for curses on us might distract Drake’s supporters, but it won’t help him with the IRS. I trust the tax agents will investigate Drake’s use of church resources to endorse a candidate for public office.“

Drake’s attack included some florid rhetoric.”In light of the recent attack from the ememies (sic) of God I ask the children of God to go into action with Imprecatory Prayer,” Drake said, in an Aug. 14 press statement issued from the First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park. “Especially against Americans United for Seperation (sic) of Church and State.”“The righteous have dominion,” Drake said, “but only through imprecatory prayer against the ungodly.”

Drake singled out two Americans United staff members whose names appeared as contacts on the press release. The pastor’s missive said the imprecatory prayers should “specifically target” AU Communications Director Joe Conn or Communications Associate Jeremy Leaming.In a message left in Lynn’s voicemail, Drake said he had been urging his supporters to take similar action against Lynn for many years.

In a section of his press release called “How to Pray,” Drake includes a long list of biblical citations that call on God to smite enemies. For example, the alleged enemies of God “shall be judged,” “condemned,” and “his days be few…” Additionally, supporters should pray that the enemy’s “children be fatherless, and his wife a widow,” and “his children be continually vagabonds, and beg; let them seek bread also out of their desolate places.“Let there be none to extend mercy unto him,” Drake quoted, “Neither let there be any to favour his fatherless children.”

Drake is here basically calling for his supporters to pray for the death of certain members of the AU. In addition, Drake says his “supporters should pray that the enemy’s “children be fatherless, and his wife a widow,” and “his children be continually vagabonds, and beg; let them seek bread also out of their desolate places.”

Whatever happened to dialog? No need for any. Drake is right, He’s on God’s side and if you disagree with him, God will kill you. He is just one step away from the Inquisition. All he needs is Governments Support. Ask yourself, if he had the authority would he kill or preside over the killing of these members of the AU? Can you see him smugly and piously condemning the “ungodly” and having them drawn and quartered or burned alive?

The point is the spirit of the inquisition still lives in the heart of Organized Religion. Save for the power and blessing of government, Drake would have people killed for opposing him. This is the “tyranny that Christianity imposes” of which Thomas Jefferson spoke about. It’s not dead or gone, by any means. It still lurks in Organized Religion, waiting and hoping for its chance to kill you if you don’t believe their way and force you to live as they dictate.

What of his followers? How many of them are praying for the death of these individuals? “Hey. Our Leader, Drake said we should do it and even gave us examples of prayers so, it must be right.”

What happens when none of these people die and the IRS investigates the Church anyway? Drake said all this in August of 2007 and as of this writing, January, 2008, (now November, 2008) none of the “cursed” people have died. I seriously doubt that anyone will actually die, but perhaps Drake himself really believes God is going to kill these people, just because they disagree with him. But the real question is, are Drake’s followers actually giving this situation any serious thought?

I would be. In fact most rational people would. About now, I would be leaving that Church, as fast as my feet would carry me. Don’t think this is the only Pastor, Minister or Religious “Authority Figure” that says these kinds of things. This is just one of the more blatant and out in the open incidents.Religion will impose it’s will in the form of tyranny to the extent that the Government lets it. It obviously has the will and it’s constantly seeking the means. It’s when it forms powerful PACs, gets your tax money while remaining tax exempt and seeks legislation based on the Bible that it is insidious and wrong.

This church is Southern Baptist Church and part of the Southern Baptist Convention and a friend of mine emailed them asking them if they supported Drakes position.John Revell, Editor of SBC LIFE answered the issue and deftly side stepped it by not answering the question He said, in part “Actually, the SBC only takes such official positions at its annual meetings in June. Rev. Drake’s comments on “imprecatory prayers” were made since the last meetings. However, the Southern Baptist Convention has absolutely no authority whatsoever over pastors or churches.”

To which I say, bullshit! The SBC’s sidestepping of the issue is a cope out. Drake is one of Thiers and he is way out of line. The SBC could simply say that what he says the Central Organization does not believe in or support. But the SBC doesn’t say that because I think they really don’t disagree and in fact most of Southern Baptist membership has no problem with the killing of the abortion doctor or Drakes “imprecatory prayers”.  

Where is the outcry from those self righteous Baptists? Their silence is deafening.Personally, I think abortion is wrong and murder, but from a scientific standpoint. It’s ludicrous to argue that a fetus, in any stage is not a human being. The murder of an abortion doctor is also wrong and the Southern Baptist Convention, by not taking a stand betrays its complicity with murder and Drakes psychotic screeches for God to kill someone that dares to disagree with him or points out where he is violating the law.The timing excuse is simply lame. I bet they’d scream their lungs out if a Church made a gay person pastor or if a Southern Baptist Church came out in favor of abortion, no matter what time of year it was.

Hypocrisy abounds in all Religion, the Southern Baptists included

A Big Baptist Brawl in Florida!!!

This is some funny shit!!

TURMOIL AT FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH OF OCALA (Florida)

Associate Pastors Fired

The six assistants had criticized the substance and style of Pastor Mark Cummins’ leadership

“The entrance to First Baptist Church of Ocala is lit by a ray of sunshine on Monday. The sunny day stood in dark contrast to the clouds of uncertainty that hung over the church after a tumultous Sunday service that left its congregation divided.”

By Bill Thompson
Staff writer

Published: Tuesday, November 11, 2008 at 6:30 a.m.
Last Modified: Tuesday, November 11, 2008 at 5:51 a.m.

“OCALA – One year ago this month, Dr. Mark Cummins arrived in Ocala as the new pastor at one of the community’s largest churches.”

“Setting up shop at the First Baptist Church of Ocala after relocating from South Florida, Cummins took to his new role as spiritual and administrative head of his flock with the intensity, discipline and can-do attitude of a former U.S. Marine, which he was some 20 years ago.”

You can read the whole article here:

http://www.ocala.com/article/20081111/NEWS/811111000/1402/NEWS?Title=Associate_pastors_fired

More stuff from the article:

“But some top lieutenants at the church have taken exception not only to Cummins’ leadership style, which one church member likened to a dictatorship at one of Ocala’s most prominent Protestant houses of worship, but to the substance as well.”

“A brewing behind-the-scenes controversy at First Baptist quickly came to a public boil on Sunday, spilling over into the pews and, according to several church members, leaving its large congregation divided over their pastor and anxious about the church’s future – even though many of the rank and file remain in the dark about how it all came to be.”

                  _____________________________

The root of the problem is that the membership does not know why the six associate pastors were fired. Some of these guys had been with the Church for many years. It seems that the six Associate Pastors didn’t like Cummins and subsequently wanted him gone, but he turned the tables on them and they got gone instead, to the dismay of many church members.

Subsequently, the Sunday morning worship service turned ugly and unruly, with shouts of “We want the truth” and “speak truth”. It was reported that many members surged in protest toward the stage, and there were unconfirmed reports of parishioners shouting “Cut his balls off”. 

It reminds me of the frequent brawls the Apostles had in the Bible over who would sit next to Jesus, who was Jesus “pet”, whose turn it was to have his feet washed by Jesus, important stuff like that.

I’m sure you remember, from the Gospel accounts that usually, after several rounds of sacramental wine, the brawl would start with someone randomly throwing a sandal at the guys who got to sit next to Jesus and before you knew it, it was a free for all. Usually, Judas, being the runt of the litter would end up in a headlock or someone would yell “pig pile”, and they all would pile on him. I think that was a factor in his ratting them out to the Po Po.

There was a theory that they would frequently give Judas wedgies. Bible scholars have since debunked that theory, proving that they actually didn’t wear underwear, making the mental vision of 12 brawling guys, wearing only tunics, just that much more disturbing.

There are no reports of sandal throwing or wedgies at Sundays brawl, though Bible scholars are still is disagreement over weather Southern Baptists wear underwear. There is a report that a choir member in the top row got a woman’s size seven black pump to the head, causing her to fall forward, sending choir members sprawling, like so many dominos.

There is also an unconfirmed report of someone getting on the stage and grabbing a guy by the organ. There were also rumors of a member getting beaned by a can of snuff and several “Bible and Hymnal” related injuries.

“It was a mess!” one parishioner is quoted as saying “Some crazy bitch hit me in the balls with her purse”

Pastor Cummins, being a retired Marine, is reportedly considering putting sharpshooters in the balcony, installing metal detectors and confiscating everyone’s shoes, Bibles, flammable liquids, small arms and anything that can be thrown,  at each service. Maybe the membership will think twice before messing with an ex-Marine.

One parishoner was over heard saying:”Now, you can’t even bring your six shooter to Church! Wecome to Obama’s America”

What the end result of all this will be is anyone’s guess. This same church split many years ago after their church burned down, with some wanting to rebuild on the same land and other wanting to build a new church in a different spot. I understand that the new church was built on the new land, but not before a series of similar brawls, drive by shootings and sandal attacks in the Mall.

It’s always fun to watch hypocrites act like real people. Christians are no different from anyone else, when they don’t get their way. What a great example of Christianity in action for anyone who may be contemplating joining the church or becoming a Baptist.

Although, there is another angle to this. If anyone at First Baptist has any marketing savvy, they will see an opportunity here. If you add an open bar, you could have Saturday night fight services! Hey, that would get me to church. I would think membership would soar.

“You mean you can fight and drink beer? Cool!!”

Besides, I’d love to give a Baptist one of my size 11’s upside the head.

 

How Jehovah’s Witnesses are Taught to Deceive the Courts in Child Custody Cases.

 

 

This even surprised me. What a bunch of lying, deceitful bastards.

 

The Jo Ho’s teach that infant baptism is wrong:

 

The Watchtower, 1/15/89:

 

“Baptizing an infant is wrong because a baby cannot understand, make a decision, and become a disciple.”

 

Makes sense. But what age would be appropriate for baptism? If you believe in the Bible and follow Jesus you know he was baptized at 30. Than wouldn’t that be somewhat of a standard?

 

Not for the Witnesses:

 

The Watchtower 6/15/85, page 23: At the other end of the scale, there are many young ones who are using their youth to serve Jehovah. Meri Aida was 14 years old when she received her appointment to serve as a regular pioneer. Before that she had shared in auxiliary pioneer service for 41 months since her baptism at age 11. She did so while going to school.

 

The Watchtower, 11/1/67, page 644: Illustrative of their experiences is that of one young man from El Salvador who, at the age of ten, submitted to baptism in symbol of his dedication to God.

 

The Watchtower, 8/1/95, pg 21: At age 11, he symbolized his dedication to Jehovah by water baptism. Sometimes Dad was assigned to work by himself a whole street in the ministry. By the time he was 18, he was conducting the Watchtower Study with a group of elderly Christian sisters in a suburb of Cape Town.

 

The Watchtower, 3/15/99, pg 14: But it seems that some among Jehovah’s people have gone to the other extreme. Many Christian parents let their children wait until they are in their late teens before broaching the subject of baptism. Time and again, we hear of youngsters making a valid dedication solely on their own initiative. For example, the preteen son of an elder sincerely wanted to get baptized. So his father had three other elders discuss with the youngster the questions designed for those contemplating baptism. Their conclusion was that, though quite young, he qualified to be baptized as an ordained minister of Jehovah God. Why, attending the Pioneer Service School in the Bahamas recently was a ten-year-old baptized girl, the daughter of two full-time ministers!

 

So 11, 10 and “preteen” are ages when a person can make this lifelong commitment.

 

Funny, look at What the Watchtower says about marriage:

 

The Watchtower, 11/1/85, page 18:

 

“Why not honestly examine yourself, your likes and dislikes? Do you not see that your appreciation for life has been enhanced by the passage of time? Did you have the same values at 13 that you had at 5, or the same values at 20 that you had at 13? Has your understanding and appreciation for life grown or lessened as you have gained greater experience over the years? Do you now, as an adult, look for the same qualities in people that you did as a child? Is it not often true that the “only” boy in a girl’s life when she is 16 or 17 years old is long forgotten as she grows to womanhood and attaches greater importance to a man’s godly traits and personality? Her view at 22 or 23 years of age will likely be centered more on the spiritual, mental, and emotional aspects of a man than on the physical characteristics. The same can be said for the young boy growing to manhood. His hopes and aspirations as far as a wife is concerned ripen as he matures. In his later years, as values change, what he will look for in a marriage mate is someone who is understanding and kind, who has ability to be a homemaker

and a mother, and who has in her heart a deep-seated desire to please first her Creator, Jehovah, and to do his will.—Proverbs 31:10, 26, 27.”

 

So 17 and 13 are specific ages mentioned where it isn’t wise to be married but preteens can get baptized, an even more important decision, in the eyes of Jo Ho’s.

 

Why would the Watchtower Society hurry kids into baptism, but advise them to wait until they get married? Simple. Membership retention.

 

If you are not baptized, you can’t be disfellowshipped and shunned. They don’t have those invisible handcuffs, keeping you in the Organization. Also, the earlier you marry, the more likely it is that you will not make a sound choice, get divorced or more likely commit adultery and they lose another member or perhaps two.

 

It’s all about membership retention.

 

But the biggest kicker of all is from a little known Watchtower publication, “Preparing for Child Custody Cases”

 

Before we get into that piece of shit, read this from the Watchtower publication, Kingdom Ministry, from 10/83, page 2:

 

“In the early years, put before your children theocratic goals —regular pioneering, Bethel service or missionary work. Encourage your children to auxiliary pioneer during school vacations. How happy Hannah was to receive many blessings from Jehovah as a result of giving her firstborn to Jehovah’s service. (1 Sam. 2:18-21) Today many theocratic parents rejoice in having one or more of their children serving faithfully in some branch of full-time service. They know this serves as a protection for their children, as well as for the vindication of Jehovah’s name. Jehovah richly blesses those who serve him wholeheartedly. (Prov. 10:22) How wise are all parents who encourage their children to apply Jesus’ counsel to put Kingdom interests first.—Matt. 6:33.”

 

There are countless quotes like the above, instructing Witness parents to train their children to put the activities of Jehovah’s Witnesses first

 

So how does this tie into the publication “Preparing for Child Custody Cases”?

 

Well, basically it instructs Jo Ho’s to have their kid’s lie in court.

 

Here are some direct quotes:

 

“Be careful that they don’t show….that the first things in life are service and going to the Kingdom Hall”

 

“Be careful that they don’t all say that they are going to pioneer”

 

“Show hobbies, crafts, social activities, sports and plans for the future. Plans can be (getting a) trade, getting married, having children, journalism and all kinds of other things”

 

I was a Witness for 50 years and I never had occasion to see this publication. In fact, I just saw this a few months ago. I knew that the Society had advice for parents in custody battles, but I never saw this. In fact, few see this book, even Elders. It is not available to the general membership, except when Elders are present and when they are going through a child custody case.  No wonder, it tells you to deliberatly decieve.

 

Now the Kingdom Ministry above says “In the early years, put before your children theocratic goals —regular pioneering, Bethel service or missionary work.”  These are all adult activities. So, you condition your kids early to train for these activities.

 

But, shhhhh….don’t tell the court!! Why on earth would Jehovah’s Witnesses instruct the kids to lie about their real goals? Because if it sounds like bullshit, tastes like bullshit and smells like bullshit, it’s likely bullshit.

 

They want courts to think that Witness kids are “normal”. “Hey, no weird stuff going on here. Just normal kids doing normal things…giving public talks, not allowed to celebrate birthdays and holidays, forced to knock on strangers doors, studying for five meetings a week and than being dragged to the meetings…just normal kids.

 

It has been my observation that because of the Witness weirdness, courts will typically award custody to the non Witness. So the watchtower Society publishes a manual to help the Witness parent by teaching the kids to lie.

 

“Be careful that they don’t all say that they are going to pioneer”. Well, that’s what they all have been taught. Just lie about it.

 

I lived this. I was raised a Witness. In all fairness, being forced to go from door to door, beginning at age 7, and getting up in front of an audience and give talks, beginning at age 6, has made me an accomplished public speaker and I am not afraid to approach and talk to anyone about anything. I don’t have that fear. Both of these things have helped me greatly as an adult and a businessman.

 

Also, I have read the Bible at least 50 times and while I don’t believe the Bible is from God, I do know a lot about it. I do find religion, history and philosophy interesting.

 

But, like I said, I lived all the Witness bullshit. As a kid we were hounded constantly to read this, do that, family bible study, blah, blah, blah. I was discouraged from playing sports in school:”It promotes competition and you can’t go to games on meeting nights”. The Beatles are from Satan, rock music will cause you to want to have sex and use drugs”. The sex and drugs part is probably true. I, like most of my contemporaries, led double lives. We were good little Witnesses when they were watching and hellions when they weren’t.

 

Growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness is simply no fun, the Watchtower Society knows this and gives you instructions on how to deceive the court.

 

More damning evidence of the corruption in the organization known as Jehovah’s Witnesses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Millions Now Living Are Delusional Assholes.

J.F Rutherford, the President of The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, (Jehovah’s Witnesses) delivered a public talk titled “The World Has Ended; Millions Now Living May Never Die” on February 24, 1918 in Los Angeles, California. Five weeks later, on March 31, 1918 the title was changed to indicate absolute certainty: “The World Has Ended; Millions Now Living Will Never Die.” The public talk continued to be delivered under that same title until 1925.

 

The material was published in 1920, in a book by the Watchtower Society, “Millions Now Living Will Never Die.”

 

A little quick math shows that one born in 1918 would be 90 years old today. United Nations population figures put the number of people, worldwide over 80 at 94 million. To give this some perspective, people over 65 number 495 million.  Here is the link:

 

http://www.un.org/esa/population/publications/WPA2007/SummaryTables_new.pdf

 

There are no numbers for people over 90, or those who were living when Rutherford uttered this profound bullshit in 1918, but it would be a safe bet that no one who heard Rutherford’s words would “never die”.

 

Picking on the Jo Ho’s again. I guess it’s a compulsion. It’s just so damn easy!

 

What ol’ J.F. was referring to was that Armageddon would come before most of his listeners and readers would die. To be fair, if 2 million or more of those born in 1918 were Jehovah’s Witnesses and were alive when Armageddon comes, he would be technically right. Only Jehovah’s Witnesses would never die. The rest of us are toast.

 

Watchtower, 9/1/89 page 19:

“ONLY Jehovah’s Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the “great crowd,” as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil.”

 

Since the Jo Ho’s number just over 6 million, I doubt seriously that 2 million of them are over 90, so again the Jo Ho’s embarrass themselves by blurting out rash predictions that never happen.

 

They did the same thing concerning the generation born in 1914:

 

AWAKE Oct 8 1968, Pages 13-14

“Jesus was obviously speaking about those who were old enough to witness with understanding what took place when the ‘last days’ began. Jesus was saying that some of those persons who were alive at the appearance of the `sign of the last days’ would still be alive when God brought this system to its end. Even if we presume that youngsters 15 years of age would be perceptive enough to realize the import of what happened in 1914, it would still make the youngest of ‘this generation’ nearly 70 years old today. So the great majority of the generation to which Jesus was referring has already passed away in death. The remaining ones are approaching old age. And remember, Jesus said that the end of this wicked world would come before that generation passed away in death.”

 

So “Jesus said that the end of this wicked world would come before that generation (perceptive enough to realize the import of what happened in 1914) passed away in death.”

Well, that’s all changed now. In fact, the Jo Ho’s changed it in 1995 and again in 2008. Having learned their lesson after making many predictions that did not happen, they decided to play it safe. So now “the 1914 generation” means anyone who saw the signs Jesus foretold, not just those who were “perceptive enough to realize the import of what happened in 1914”.

 

Let’s do some more Jo Ho math.  From the above Watchtower: “Even if we presume that youngsters 15 years of age would be perceptive enough to realize the import of what happened in 1914, it would still make the youngest of ‘this generation’ nearly 70 years old today.”

 

That was in 1968. Someone who was 15 in 1914 would be 109 in 2008.

 

If you were a fly on the wall at the meeting of The Governing Body, “Hey guys, it’s getting close here! The 1914 gen is about gone! We have to come up with a new plan!” So they fabricate new bullshit and the flock sucks it up like good little drones.

 

And so we can say, without fear of contradiction, “Million of Jehovah’s Witnesses Now Living Are Full of Shit”

 

 

 

Jehovah’s Witnesses Own the Bible.

 

From the Watchtower, October 1, 1967 Watchtower, page 587, paragraph 9:

“Thus the Bible is an organizational book and belongs to the Christian congregation as an organization, not to individuals, regardless of how sincerely they may believe that they can interpret the Bible. For this reason the Bible cannot be properly understood without Jehovah’s visible organization in mind.”

 

So the Bible belongs to the Jo Ho’s, or as said above, it “belongs to the Christian congregation as an organization”.

 

Jehovah’s Witnesses consider themselves the only true Christian Congregation, as they say many times in their literature, so they own the Bible. It reminds me of that Austin Powers movie, where Dr. Evil says that his father claimed to have invented the question mark.

 

Further, look at what they say about themselves. The Watchtower, 9/1/89 page 19:

“ONLY Jehovah’s Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the “great crowd,” as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil.”

The rest of us are screwed. But the madness continues. This from The Watchtower 4/1/72, pages 197:

“So, does Jehovah have a prophet to help them, to warn them of dangers and to declare things to come? These questions can be answered in the affirmative. Who is this prophet?…This “prophet” was not one man, but was a body of men and women. It was the small group of footstep followers of Jesus Christ, known at that time as International Bible Students. Today they are known as Jehovah’s Christian witnesses….Of course, it is easy to say that this group acts as a “prophet” of God. It is another thing to prove it.”

Just as a side thought, here is an example of what “God’s prophet” says:

From: The Nations Shall Know That I Am Jehovah – How? 1971 p. 216:

JEHOVAH’S “SWORD” AGAINST “ALL THOSE OF FLESH”

“ Shortly, within our twentieth century, the “battle in the day of Jehovah” will begin against the modern antitype of Jerusalem, Christendom.”

Did I miss something? Isn’t the 20th Century over? You would think that if the “battle in the day of Jehovah” had happened, we would have seen it or least it would have made the news.

 

It didn’t happen. so the Jo Ho’s simply continued their tradition of predictions that simply don’t ever happen.

 

But they do own the Bible. It “belongs to the Christian congregation as an organization”, which, they claim, is them.

 

Other than the obvious arrogance and stupidity, who really gives a shit?  I mean. Other than other delusional Christians who also claim ownership and have shown their willingness to kill “non believers” over far more trivial “religious” matters or disagreements, who fucking cares?

 

If you step back for a moment, you can see mind control at work. Notice that it belongs “not to individuals”.

 

“The Bible is an organizational book and belongs to the Christian congregation as an organization”, organization…. organization…. organization…. organization…. organization…. organization….

 

Individual bad, Organization, good…. Individual bad, Organization, good….Individual bad, Organization, good…. Individual bad, Organization, good…..

 

Ya got that?

 

Here’s the icing on the cake:

 

Reading just the Bible, with out the Watchtower literature to guide you, makes you “like the original Satan, have adopted an independent, faultfinding attitude.”

 

From The Watchtower 8/15/81 pg 28-29

 

 

“From time to time, there have arisen from among the ranks of Jehovah’s people those who, like the original Satan, have adopted an independent, faultfinding attitude. They do not want to serve “shoulder to shoulder” with the worldwide brotherhood. (Compare Ephesians 2:19-22.) Rather, they present a “stubborn shoulder” to Jehovah’s words. (Zech. 7:11, 12) Reviling the pattern of the “pure language” that Jehovah has so graciously taught his people over the past century, these haughty ones try to draw the “sheep” away from the one international “flock” that Jesus has gathered in the earth. (John 10:7-10, 16) They try to sow doubts and to separate unsuspecting ones from the bounteous “table” of spiritual food spread at the Kingdom Halls of Jehovah’s Witnesses, where truly there is ‘nothing lacking.’ (Ps. 23:1-6) They say that it is sufficient to read the Bible exclusively, either alone or in small groups at home. But, strangely, through such ‘Bible reading,’ they have reverted right back to the apostate doctrines that commentaries by Christendom’s clergy were teaching 100 years ago, and some have even returned to celebrating Christendom’s festivals again, such as the Roman Saturnalia of December 25! Jesus and his apostles warned against such lawless ones.—Matt. 24:11-13; Acts 20:28-30; 2 Pet. 2:1, 22.”

 

So you can’t learn the “truth from God” simply by reading the Bible and if you do, you’re like Satan. How can one who wants to read the Bible be like Satan? Unless they’re like me and are looking for problems with it, of which there are many. But, these are not the people they refer to. They are talking about people who are “fault finding”. Well, What happens to a fault finding Jo Ho?

 

They get excommunicated. Or as they say, disfellowshipped.

 

From the Watchtower, 11/1/96, page 16:

 

“Once a year two elders may visit certain disfellowshipped ones. These may no longer show a rebellious attitude or be engaged in gross sin and may need help to take the necessary steps to get reinstated.—Matthew 24:45; Ezekiel 34:16.”

 

So, you do get disfellowshipped and shunned for a rebellious attitude, like reading the Bible without the aid  of Watchtower publications.

 

The bullshit emanating from the Watchtower Society and Jehovah’s Witnesses is mind numbing. Does any of the membership actually read this shit? Apparently not many.

 

So, if you are a Christian and you read your Bible, remember to mail your monthly royalty check to The Watchtower Society. You don’t want to infringe on their rightful ownership.

 

Incidentally, I own the dictionary, so you can PayPal your royalties to my email