It’s Chicken Little Season in the Jehovah’s Witness World.

From the “Rochester Democrat and Chronicle”

“Jehovah’s Witnesses prepare for the end”

Bennett J. Loudon • Staff writer • July 5, 2009

Thousands of people are expected to attend the last day of a three-day religious convention in downtown Rochester, where the program today will focus on how to survive what organizers believe is the approaching end of the world.

Keep the Watch is the theme of the Jehovah’s Witnesses convention at the Blue Cross Arena at the Community War Memorial that is focused on recognizing signs of the end time and preparing for it, organizers said.

Jeffrey Case, a spokesman for the Jehovah’s Witnesses, said the wars, rampant crime and massive hunger occurring worldwide are all signs of the apocalypse predicted in the Bible.

“Those are all things that we see in the news all the time,” Case said.

This morning, there will be a presentation on how to survive the end of the world by living according to the Bible. In the afternoon, an hourlong live dramatic presentation based on the parable of the prodigal son will be featured. That performance is intended especially for youths who may have strayed from the organization, Case said.

About 4,500 people from central New York and northern Pennsylvania were expected to attend each day of the three-day convention. Another three-day convention in about two weeks is expected to attract an equal number of people from the Rochester area. And a third convention at the arena in about three weeks will serve just as many people from Buffalo and western New York, Case said.

All the conventions are free and open to the public.

“Once a year we look forward to the new information, the latest information on Bible understanding,” said Elijah Nelson, 55, of Syracuse, who attended the convention with his wife, Rebecca Nelson, 48.

“One of the things that Jehovah’s Witnesses are known for is the love among them, and a district convention where you get to see 5,000 brothers and sisters is such a treat,” he said.

BLOUDON@DemocratandChronicle.com

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Yes, it’s that time of year again, Jo Ho District Assembly time. Where those beloved doom and gloomers decend upon select unfortunate cities by the thousands and attend what seem to be endless sessions of Bible lectures which have one main theme: God will destroy the world any day now, If you ain’t one of us, you’re dead and we can’t wait to see an angel severe your worthless head.

The Assemblies of late are different from the many I attended during my 50 years as a Jo Ho. As I had mentioned in  a previous post, the Jo Ho’s are presently dateless. By that I mean they are not presently calling for a date for Armageddon. You know, the Big “A”, when the loving, kind, merciful God they worship slaughters, in a most horrible way, all non Jehovah’s Witnesses.

When I was a Jo Ho,we always had a date or a time period in which this would happen. I couldn’t wait for Jehovah to kill all you non believing, devil worshiping hoardes of unwashed religious masses who didn’t know what we knew. We had the truth, you don’t have shit. Ha Ha, Satans got you fooled!! You deserve to die and have the birds pick the eyes out of your rotting corpse. That’ll teach you to slam the door in the faces of God’s chosen people. Here’s what Jehovah has in store for you:

From Watchtower 2/1/85, page 3-4:

“So devastating will Armageddon be that the carnage is referred to as a reaping of “the harvest of the earth” by means of a sharp sickle. “And the angel thrust his sickle into the earth and gathered the vine of the earth, and he hurled it into the great winepress of the anger of God. And the winepress was trodden outside the city, and blood came out of the winepress as high up as the bridles of the horses, for a distance of a thousand six hundred furlongs.”—Revelation 14:15-20.”

“Yes, blood will run deep under the hand of God’s executional forces. The 69 million deaths of two world wars will pale in comparison to those slain in God’s war of Armageddon. Concerning them the prophet Jeremiah wrote: “Those slain by Jehovah will certainly come to be in that day from one end of the earth clear to the other end of the earth. They will not be bewailed, neither will they be gathered up or be buried. As manure on the surface of the ground they will become.”—Jeremiah 25:30-33.

The burning missiles, fiery showers, and other cataclysmic forces that accompany God’s judgment will strike terror into the hearts of mankind earth wide. In confusion they will turn, each one against his neighbor, as God’s executional forces strike without regard to age or sex. For God instructs them to show no mercy: “Strike. Let not your eye feel sorry, and do not feel any compassion. Old man, young man and virgin and little child and women you should kill off—to a ruination.”—Ezekiel 9:5, 6; Zechariah 14:12, 13.”

Remember, in the entire history of this loony fringe group of deluded morons, they always had a date. But although presently “dateless” the Jo Ho’s are still jumping around like so many hyper French poodles, pissing themselves in anticipation of you getting slaughtered by God during the coming global carnage, because as the Watchtower, 9/1/89 page 19 says:

 ”ONLY Jehovah’s Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the “great crowd,” as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil.”

Yes sir, the unbelieveing pieces of shit that the rest of us are, are basically fucked.

As I mentioned, the Jo Ho’s always had a date. The Watchtower Society prophesied that Armageddon would come at 6 separate and distinct time periods and they were wrong.

1914 – “In view of this strong Bible evidence concerning the Times of the Gentiles, we consider it an established truth that the final end of the kingdoms of this world, and the full establishment of the Kingdom of God, will be accomplished by the end of 1914.” (The Time is at Hand, 1902 edition, p. 99) Note: this same statement was contained in the 1908 edition of the same book.

End of WW1: “The present great war in Europe is the beginning of the Armageddon of the Scriptures (Revelation 19:16-20). It will eventuate in the complete overthrow of all the systems of error which have so long oppressed the people of God and deluded the world”. (Pastor Russell’s Sermons, 1915, p. 676) In the same year (1915),

1925 – “The period must end in 1925 . . . [This date] is definitely fixed in the Scriptures. Every thinking person can see that a great climax is at hand. The scriptures clearly indicate that the climax is the fall of Satan’s empire and the full establishment of the Messianic kingdom . . . Therefore, it can be confidently said at this time that millions now living will never die”. (Golden Age, January 4, 1922, p. 217)

1975 – Watchtower, October 15, 1969 pages 622 and 623:

“More recently earnest researchers of the Holy Bible have made a recheck of its chronology. According to their calculations the six millenniums of mankind’s life on earth would end in the mid-seventies…. Would not, then, the end of six millenniums of mankind’s laborious enslavement under Satan the Devil be the fitting time for Jehovah God to usher in a Sabbath millennium for all his human creatures? Yes, indeed! And his King Jesus Christ will be Lord of that Sabbath.”

Notice the use of the definite article “the”. It would be “the fitting time”, not “a fitting time” not “an appropriate time” but “THE FITTING TIME”, to the exclusion of all other times. “Yes, Indeed! And his King Jesus Christ will be Lord of that Sabbath”. Not “might be”, not “could be”, but “WILL BE”.

End of the 20th Century – Again in 1971, they said it would come in the 20th century: ”Shortly, within our twentieth century, the “battle in the day of Jehovah” will begin”. From: The Nations Shall Know That I Am Jehovah – How? 1971 p. 216”

Within the life span of the 1914 generation: Watchtower, 7/1/69 pg395:

“People who were only just old enough to understand what was happening to the world in 1914 are now approaching seventy years of age. Yes, the numbers of that generation are dwindling fast, but before they all pass away this system must meet its end in the war of Armageddon.”

None of the above happened and they changed the 1914 thing.

I was reading stuff like this at age 23, From “Our Kingdom Ministry”, May 1974, page 3:

“Yes, since the summer of 1973 there have been new peaks in pioneers every month. Now there are 20,394 regular and special pioneers in the United States, an all-time peak. That is 5,190 more than there were in February 1973! A 34-percent increase! Does that not warm our hearts? Reports are heard of brothers selling their homes and property and planning to finish out the rest of their days in this old system in the pioneer service. Certainly this is a fine way to spend the short time remaining before the wicked world’s end.—1 John 2:17.”

What, you sold your house. quit your job, sold your stocks, quit college? Hey, who told you to do that?

I mean, it was always “around the corner”, “very close”, imminent. Except it never happened.

The point is made in the above article by Jeffrey Case, a spokesman for the Jehovah’s Witnesses. He  said the wars, rampant crime and massive hunger occurring worldwide are all signs of the apocalypse predicted in the Bible.

“Those are all things that we see in the news all the time,” Case said.

I got news for you and your loony cohorts Jeff, these are things that have happened since the beginning of man and will continue to happen. Oh, yea the Bible says that scoffers will say that these things have always occurred and will continue to occur. The kicker is, that’s true.

What a great point to build a religion around. The world is full of violence. No shit. And then your “Holy Book” conveniently says that scoffers will point out that the world has been this way since the beginning of man, thus giving credence to your claim that this violence and wickedness, which has always occurred is proof that the “end is near”.

The only problem for Jo Ho’s is that it never seems to come. They’ve been wrong so many, times they dare not utter another prediction. They are presently, “dateless”. And, by the way, their membership retention is dwindling. Without a date, it’s hard to create that sense of urgency. Without the urgency hook, it becomes harder and harder for people to keep believing your bullshit.

There is one thing for the Jo Ho’s to look forward to. There is likely to be some sort of World catastrophe i.e., nuclear, famine, disease, world war. It’s pretty easy to see that possibility.

However, I doubt seriously that “ONLY Jehovah’s Witnesses, those of the anointed remnant and the “great crowd,” as a united organization under the protection of the Supreme Organizer, have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system dominated by Satan the Devil.” Regardless of in what form the “end of this doomed system”.

I see vultures picking the eyes out of dead Jo Ho’s. I can’t wait.