More Bible Bullshit, March, 2011

 

John 3:16, from the King James Version of the Bible:

“For god loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”

John 3:16, from the New World Translation of the Bible, the Jehovah’s Witness Bible:

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his only-begotten Son, in order that everyone exercising faith in him might not be destroyed but have everlasting life

We’ve all seen assholes holding up signs at ball games with “John 3:16” plastered across it. As an aside, did you ever bother to look it up? I didn’t either, but I already knew what it said. Remember I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and had the Bible jammed down my throat.

Further, we all know the story of how God sent Jesus to earth, the Jews killed him in a horrible way and God resurrected him and he is now presumable back in heaven. So today we have the Christmas and Easter holidays to commemorate this whole series of events.

Jesus was born, we have Christmas. We give gifts, sing holiday and have drunken parties, that often end in female nudity and wanton sex, all admittedly cool things. So then Jesus was killed and resurrected, we have Easter. Jesus was hung on a stake or cross, whichever you choose to believe as there is proof of neither. He died slowly, agonizingly, painfully. So we, in honor of all that celebrate all this by Easter egg hunts, giving kids Easter baskets and chocolate rabbits, but unfortunately not much female nudity and wanton sex.

But did you ever think about the way Jesus died? Now I don’t believe in the Bible and there is scant proof that Jesus ever lived, but humor me. They take this guy, and nail him through his hands and feet to  the cross/stake. Then they hoist him and the stake/cross upright, his body weight supported and resting on the wounds in his hands and feet. He lives for a few hours in agonizing pain and then, for good measure the Roman guards attending him break his legs and pierce his side with a sword.

Have you bible thumpers ever thought of it that way? Likely not. This manner of death was quit common in those days, in fact the Romans and other civilizations had many equally horrible ways to kill people. Look it up.

But the real question for Bible believers is what is the point of this whole exercise? Because “God loved the world” so by sending Jesus to earth, to die such an ignominious death, he demonstrated that love.

I’m sorry, but I don’t get it. When I was a kid, my mother showed she loved me when she gave me a cookie.  My kids and grandkids give me pictures, ties and other stuff. I like e-books, so my family gives me those as gifts to show they love me or at least because they feel some obligation to get me a gift.

If my neighbor, one day, dragged his kid over to my front lawn and yelled to me “This is for you because I love you” and shot his kid in the head, I don’t think that would please, benefit or even entertain me.

But that’s what Christians say God did. Maybe I’m missing something, but after giving this a lot of thought, I don’t get it. I would think that God had a lot of much more less gruesome ways to prove “he loved us”.  Christians believe He gave us all life itself. That’s a pretty cool thing. Killing your Son is perhaps pushing the envelope. Again, a cookie would do, but no. As in all religion and as in the Bible we are presented with things that make no sense in any context.

The Jesus/Crucifixion thing has been ingrained into us so much simply by the exposure we get from  living in a Judeo/Christian Society, most of us never stop to think of the logic involved. But again, it makes no sense.

Oh the Bible gives us some justification, “a perfect life for a perfect life”. This is what the Witnesses say at any rate. Adam, was perfect when he sinned, so a perfect man had to be sacrificed or give his life at what the witnesses call a “corresponding ransom”. Adam sinned, so we all inherited sin, Jesus died to make up for Adams screw up.

So, when does all humanity benefit from Jesus death? We all sure caught hell when Adam sinned, but guess what? You have to “believe in Jesus” to get the benefit of his death. I don’t believe in Jesus, so I don’t get invited to the “sin be gone” party. Fuck, I don’t believe in Adam, but I sure “inherited his imperfection” and am going to die/go to hell as a result of his fuck up. Somehow, this doesn’t seem fair. But hey, we’re talking religion! Nothing makes and sense or in any way can be considered fair.

So, who made that idiotic rule up? Apparently God. But the question remains, does God answer to anyone? Doesn’t he make the rules? Would anyone who believed in God have question a more humane less gruesome “method” of “saving” us?

The Bible is full of this “blood” stuff. The fucking Jews were obsessed with blood. In the Old Testament at the Jewish temple they had a twelve foot in diameter bowl full of blood. Look it up. They did a lot of wierd stuff with blood, like sprinkling it on different thinks for no apparent logical reason. Oh yea, and if your kid pissed you off you could have him stoned to death.

As for “the ranson” it’s a stupid fucking rules that in Jesus case resulted in a brutal execution of a human being for no real reason. It doesn’t make sense in any context.

In reality, I don’t believe in the Bible and don’t think any of this bullshit happened, but if so, is it too late for God to hand out cookies?