Well, today is Saturday, May 21, 2011, rapture day, according to Pastor Harold Camping and his loyal band of psycho fuck heads.
I sit in my recliner, with my laptop and a 12 pack of Corona Light. I may switch to Crown and Seven-Up later on, if the world doesn’t end.
Just to clarify, Camping says that we are going to have sort of a “rolling rapture” as God’ Chillin’ are taken to heaven, time zone by time zone. I don’t remember if he mentioned in which time zone this would start. Is heaven on Eastern Standard Time? Who the fuck knows.
He did say that at 6 p.m. Saturday (local time around the world) the “saved” would ascend to heaven. Technically, that hour has come and gone in the Pacific islands, New Zealand, Australia, and on through east Asia. No word yet about people ascending.
Oh yea, and after that the world will be destroyed in a variety of ways, including but not limited to: Earthquakes, floods, syndication of “Dancing with the Star” (known to cause inexplicable mass suicides), McDonalds new dollar menu (proven to kill slowly) and Wal-Marts new policy to arm their greeters.
As usual, other competing Christians complain that Camping is totally full of shit and the Bible doesn’t support his prophesy at all. For example, the eBible Fellowship, says on their website: http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/outreach/tracts/may21/,
that he Bible says the end of the World will be October 21, 2011. One crazy ass demented religious group calling another crazy ass demented religious group wrong.
Also, we have the Mayan thing which is sometime in 2012. I can’t keep track of all of them.
At any rate, It’s a safe bet that since I don’t believe in Jesus and I don’t think the Bible is from God, I will not be “taken”. If so I would have run up my credit cards and taken a shot at a few of women that I secretly lust after. But alas, I am not to be included.
We’ll all have a laugh Sunday, at Camping’s expense.
But, it does give me pause because at some point, one of these doomsday prophesies is likely to be right.
