Bible Bullshit to the Max

So the world will end tomorrow, Saturday, May 21, 1911. It seems Harold Camping, the 89-year-old leader of the ministry Family Radio Worldwide, has predicted that the destruction of humanity, which will happen over five months, beginning on the 21st.

“Whereas this five-month period will be an enormous horror story for those who have not been raptured, it will be a time of great joy and wonder for those who are raptured,” so saith the prophet Harold.

Of course, Prophet Harold uses a mathematical formula linked to prophecies in the Bible. One time before he predicted Sept. 6, 1994 as Judgment Day, but nothing happened. You’d think that would be enough to dissuade old Harold (and He is old) but no. If anything He is persistent.

Back in ’94, old Hal and his merry band of deluded Bible- tards took out an ad in Reader’s Digest, stating: “The Bible guarantees the end of the world will begin with Judgment Day May 21, 2011.”

Being raised a Jehovah’s Witness, I am no stranger to end of the world predictions. The Jo Hos predicted the end of the world or Armageddon would come seven different times in the 20th century and of course nothing happened. Another loony group of Bible fuck heads and another in a long series of loony prediction that “The Bible guarantees.”

But I digress. Ol’ Harold says that “The Rapture” AKA, “the taking up into heaven of God’s elect people will take place on May 21, 2011 at 6 p.m. local time the rapture will sweep the globe time zone by time zone and that the end of the world as we know it will take place five months later on October 21, 2011.”

So I’m thinking, great! All the religious assholes will be taken to Heaven to be with Jeebus. Fuckin’ A!! Now we can buy liquor on Sunday and we’ll get porn on regular TV! Cool!!

John Lennon finally gets his wish, posthumously. From his song “Imagine”:

Imagine there’s no countries

It isn’t hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace

There is a catch. Old Harold says that after all God’s Chillin’ get taken to heaven, God will destroy the earth. Shit, there’s always a catch.

So, what will happen is what always happens, so saith the prophet ISNRBLOG….not a fucking thing. And come Sunday, all the religious assholes will still be here, I will still have to stock up on booze during the week and get my porn off the net like always.

Fuck you Harold. Oh yea, some people are planning Rapture parties, because as one group of assholes says, quote “skeptics, activists, comedians and others don’t believe his apocalyptic warning for one second.”

Holy shit, COMEDIANS DON’T BELIEVE THIS!! That settles it as far as I’m concerned. Hey, if comedians aren’t convinced, I mean it’s got to be bullshit.

Again, I digress.

Well, my best guess is that I’ll be posting things here as usual, since the Bible is bullshit and so was every nut ball prophesy religious shit heads have spewed about it since it was written. Oh yea, sorry for the infrequency of my posts lately. I have had a few projects lately but they are ending so my psychotic rantings should be coming at a more regular pace.

Try to suppress your impulse to screech with joy.